When we chatted about connection, and I shared how one motion helped me reframe my days, I was surprised many people both “got it” and needed it.
It’s not I surmise I’m a special snowflake (as our little friend used to call me) it’s as we bumble through life & see what others choose to share it’s easy to think I’m the only one who ___.
Whatever your ___ might be.
You commented. You emailed. You messaged.
And, most movingly, the Child’s teacher grabbed me yesterday at drop-off and said.
Thank you so much. You made my day.
(Confession. I’m going 80 mph in the mornings. Depositing Child at her portable. Watching to be certain The Chairman isn’t depositing. It took me a bit to realize what she referred to.)
“Some of the teachers don’t grasp why I do that with the kids. Your writing captured why. I showed your blog to those teachers and we talked. Thank you.”
C(onnection).
This conversation caused me to rethink my post about blogging (<—note the lowercase) as a dying form.
The bonds born from my connection post is, for me, precisely what blogging should be.
It’s what the inimitable Seth Godin refers to as horizontal connection.
He, to paraphrase, defines vertical connection as (mainly brand) blogs where information flows one way.
Horizontal connection is personal. It’s back and forth.
People caring about people.
This is why What You Can When You Can is less a stand alone book and more a movement to create a Tribe.
People connecting with each other.
I’ve talked about how I’m a crowd pleaser.
I make an effort (and am disappointed when it doesn’t “take”) to get horizontal, connect reader-to-reader, and free you to talk amongst yourselves.
On some posts you chat about how you agree with my thoughts and hadn’t framed yours that way before.
On others you discuss how off-base and overly sensitive I am & disagree with my musings.
People connecting with each other.
It dawned on me yesterday what I miss is the horizontal of blogging.
Person to person.
Reader to reader.
- Can you sense when blogs flow in only one direction (vertical)?
- Does the abundance of blogs make horizontal connection impossible?
Angela @ happy fit mama says
May 13, 2015 at 4:10 amYES! The horizontal parts of blogging are still out there. It’s those types of horizontal outreach that makes me love the blog world. It’s the realness. The feelings we all have. It makes us relatable.
Wendi says
May 13, 2015 at 4:18 amI introduced your “C” for connection to a women’s group I run and we have loved it.
The sessions are about self-esteem and the idea has changed the tone of our group for the better.
Thank you again.
Runner Girl says
May 13, 2015 at 4:29 amThe big running blogs I love are definitely more of a vertical connection.
That’s ok because I only go there for information, but when real people bloggers feel like they are talking at me I am not a fan.
Kristina Walters @ Kris On Fitness says
May 13, 2015 at 4:55 amThis is the main reason why I love to blog! The connections I make are priceless!
Allie says
May 13, 2015 at 5:07 amEach time I’m feeling self-indulgent in the blog and considering just not doing it anymore, someone will connect with me and say “I read your blog and…” which propels me forward! Horizontal connection is what it’s ALL about.
Cat @B2B says
May 13, 2015 at 5:13 amI love this, AND, I’ll get horizontal with you, any day.????
Cat @B2B says
May 13, 2015 at 5:14 amPeriods. Not ???? Damn iPhone emojis.
Katie says
May 13, 2015 at 5:17 amThis is it, Carla.
I’d not heard of Seth before or these terms but this is why I am drawn to you and to others whose voice is similar to yours.
I’d always thought of it as narcissistic bloggers vs non.
Horizontal and vertical are much kinder. 🙂
misszippy says
May 13, 2015 at 5:23 amI believe/hope horizontal is still out there! It’s the part I enjoy most.
Susie @ SuzLyfe says
May 13, 2015 at 5:36 amYes yes yes. Like my post that the REAL post is often in the comments–I love watching my readers connect! Even though they are mostly there for my mom, lol.
Krysten says
May 13, 2015 at 6:04 amHonestly, I had a moment after the whole “Catfish” saga where I found myself asking if I wanted to keep writing, blogging, sharing.
Ultimately after some time away from my screen I realized I missed my connection with people. The people I have met and the community that I have here on the interwebs is the reason I love writing, sharing,, and blogging. It why I stay!
Katja of Skimbaco says
May 13, 2015 at 6:41 amI haven’t heard of the “horizontal blogging” before, but fully agree. For a long time I have focused on connecting with my readers on various platforms instead of “trying to get them on my site” and I think when you also go outside your own platform/blog, the community starts building around your brand/blog much easier.
Coco (@Got2Run4Me) says
May 13, 2015 at 6:46 amOooh! Great way to think about blogs. I’ll take mine lying down – like a slumber party staying up all night talking. 😉
Michelle @ Running with Attitude says
May 13, 2015 at 7:32 amGreat way to think about it! Thankfully I believe the horizontal is till out there.
Jody - Fit at 57 says
May 13, 2015 at 8:35 amI think there is a place for both out there & that is a good thing. Many want the horizontal & others just read to read & get info. Times are changing but I think the exchange of info horizontally will stay.
Sarah K says
May 13, 2015 at 9:00 amI *love* the connection of blogging, but it seems like everyone is moving towards trying to monetize or become a “big” blogger and the connection is lost. I love the horizontal/vertical distinction. I actually just quit blogging after 10 years of doing it (off and on, with breaks when I had babies), but it’s not because I think the art form is dead, it was just too much of a time commitment for me, especially when I saw other people making money from it, even though I didn’t want that. What can I say? I’m a head case.
Katrina says
May 13, 2015 at 9:01 amOh, the parallels, I love them!
Anita Irlen says
May 13, 2015 at 9:35 amI’m asking this question of myself right now: what should my ratio of horizontal to vertical be? I love the horizontal, but I also have opinions, some very strong. At times that may make me sound “vertical” and even narcissistic. But I’ve read lots of bloggers that seem to want to please everyone and that just waters everything down. What’s interesting about the really successful top bloggers (in the fashion and style sector anyway) is that they are able to continue to be horizontal in their tone. It’s a real skill, having an authentic voice that can be authoritative and friendly at the same time. Thanks for the post. I’m going to be thinking about this a lot.
Anita
Rena McDaniel says
May 13, 2015 at 9:58 amWhat you say makes a lot of sense and something that I haven’t really considered. It is nice to have those connections back and forth. I think there can be a balance of the two somehow, but I’m still trying to find that balance for myself.
Erin @ Erin's Inside Job says
May 13, 2015 at 11:23 amI get the most horizontal action (ha) when I post something sincere and heartfelt. I wrote a post recently on my struggles with not being ready for kids yet and I got so many wonderful comments and interactions from my readers. Those are some of my favorite ones to write 🙂
Julie @ HappinessSavouredHot says
May 13, 2015 at 12:50 pmYes! Connecting and exchanging with readers/other bloggers is my favorite part of blogging. 🙂
Lisa @ RunWiki says
May 13, 2015 at 1:32 pmI have a few bloggers and readers that I connect with, but not unlike high school, blogging sometimes makes me feel like an outcast. Just like those younger years, I feel like I am well liked but not popular. Sometimes that feeling makes me feel just a tad lonely. I just try and stay focused on the people and readers that I have the deep connection with and tune out those feelings. Blogging brings me joy, but can also drain the life out of me… in the end, it balances itself out
emma @ be mom strong says
May 13, 2015 at 2:10 pmI’ve met so many people and learned so much from finding others’ blogs! I love being horizontal!
lindsay Cotter says
May 13, 2015 at 2:47 pmyes, agreed. And we don’t even have to be connecting everyday. But the flow is there. I feel that too and that’ s why i continue share, comment, etc. Love that horizontal flow carla. We’re eye to eye. 🙂
Alissa says
May 13, 2015 at 3:04 pmThe connections I have made while blogging have been so helpful to me. So many of us experience the same things but feel like we are so unique and alone- blogging has shown me that I am not.
GiGi Eats says
May 13, 2015 at 8:50 pmI blog solely because I WANT TO MAKE CONNECTIONS WITH OTHERS! I love meeting new people and hopefully making them laugh. I have read very VERTICAL blogs in the past and I just sort of… Steer clear of them, and stop reading them. I love reading blogs, like yours, where they’re 100% real 🙂
Thea @ It's Me Vs. Me says
May 13, 2015 at 9:07 pmI gotta admit, I struggle with the outwardly horizontal. In my head I’m connected with people, but on paper, I could be described more of a lurker. 🙂
Sandra Laflamme says
May 13, 2015 at 10:11 pmIt’s somewhat like the idea of education where we not only want our kids to consume the education but we want them to digest it and create from what they have learned, to make those great connections and to grow from what they have learned. I definitely need to consider the idea of horizontal blogging.
Sagan says
May 14, 2015 at 9:23 amOh I like this!
LOVE being able to talk back and forth about all kinds of issues. There’s always something more to learn from each other!
Jess @hellotofit says
May 15, 2015 at 8:09 amI love horizontal blogs, making friends, and learning from other people! Vertical blogs can be a nice resource, but I feel like it lacks that “personal” stuff. All about the relationships 😉