My four types of friends.

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fluevog shoes

My funky friend fun shoes!

The musings below came to me attending at conference for women.

The event focus was on social media but, ever the misfit, attending prompted me to step back my greater social experience.

To consider my introvert status against the backdrop of meeting so many new people at once.

To realize I’m dependent on different varieties of friends for different situations.

How I have created certain relationships to meet specific emotional “demands” and that’s OK.

The below are thoughts which began to form as I packed for an event I was quite unsure about.

I knew one person who would be there.

Neither of us had any clue what to expect or if other attendees might be caught up in their own ‘stuff’ and not have interest in creating new relationships.

We were nervouscited (<—as the Child thankfully still says).

As I readied and surveyed my bulging carry-on, I gave myself a pep-talk about connecting and being open to meeting people.

As my carry-on refused to close–thanks to all the shoes I “needed” for my short trip–I looked at all the different varieties I’d packed and realized a few things about the variety of friendships in my life.

Maia Ahnu Shoes

My friends can all be broken down into groups…precisely like my shoes.

  • funky fashion.
  • stilettto
  • flip-flop
  • sneakers

Allow me to elaborate.

The plans to attend the conference were made at the urging of a Flip-Flop Friend.

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A comfy friend.

A friend who’s as much a necessity in my life as my beloved flip-flops.

She, like the shoes, feels a part of the fabric of my life.  She, like my flip-flops, is so ever-present I can’t recall when we met, she’s invariably there when I need her, and I wish I could wear them always! see her daily.

During the event I met number of potential Funky-Fashion-Shoe Friends.

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Quirky, dynamic women whose very spirit brings out the same traits in me.

Women with whom I hope to stay connected.

Women with whom I hope to collaborate or use as sounding boards when I need a booster-shot of BRAZEN.

As I networked that weekend I was introduced to some potential Stilettos-Friends.

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Stilettos, as you may surmise, are not my thing.

I own none (hence the high wedge pictured above. It’s as close as I come).

I love the look of them.

I’m envious of those who can wear such shoes with ease and for long periods of time.

I adore these womenfriends for fun, fleeting, fabulous moments and then, as with the shoes, I’m exhausted.

I’m reminded of my introvert, flip-flop’y status.

Time will tell if my weekend created any Sneaker-Friends.

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At my core I’m a sneakers woman.

I love all my other shoes—but for comfort, traction, and navigating life’s oft rocky terrain nothing eclipses my sneakers.

These are the shoes friends I’m with for the long haul, I bring move-to-move with me, and which I cannot imagine ever surrendering.

No matter how worn or, at times, in tatters they may appear.

The event was amazing–for myriad reasons–yet I left feeling most bolstered by the sense of camaraderie.

I returned feeling hopeful by virtue of the realization I may be an introvert—but I possess the 4 friend-types I require to create the community I need.

And you?

  • Do your friend-types match mine?
  • Which is your most important “shoe?”

 

 

EDITED to say: upon rereading this post reminds me of my dear friend, Sue. An everySHOE friend gone too soon.

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Comments

  3. Such great analogies as what women can’t relate to friendships types and shoes!? I’m definitely a sneaker woman and I like my friends that way 🙂 However, we all need some funky stilettos to make things interesting…

  4. I have a work retreat this weekend and tend to cower at these events.
    I need to think of the intimidating women was shoes and not as intimidating.
    I love this, Carla.

  5. love this! i am a cross between a sneaker and a flip-flop. going on a women’s retreat next weekend and pretty sure everyone will be in flip flops and/or sneakers. the right place for me!

  6. I’ve recently gone back to work and have discovered an entirely new world of shoes LOL at my office.
    Admittedly I’ve found it terrifying…

  7. I love flip flops! tend to live in them outside
    in the summer here in Florida. I gravitate
    towards flip flop or sneaker friends!

  8. i remember your post on sue. What a woman, and so are you! I’d say i’m a sneaker friend/woman too. I need that durability. Like can be rocky, but we can always climb higher with the proper shoe (equipment) in life. <3

  9. Boy, this one got to me. At this time in my life {all times, really, but especially right now}, I am so so so grateful for all my sneaker friends.

  11. Love it!

    Off to ponder this… (and admire my shoe collection. And identify what shoes I need more of. ALL THE SHOES!)

    When I get back on track to thinking about the friend / shoe types, rather than just getting excited about shoes (focus, Sagan, focus!), I might have to write a response to this post of my own types of friends on my blog 😉

  12. Wow, we’re very alike, I think you and I share a lot in terms of friends and shoes (except I hate flip flops, so for me it would be casual flats instead).

  13. I’d say this is a great analogy for all women! I’m kind of a barefoot girl, so perhaps I am stripped down and open to my friends? But I do like the variety of all the types of friends you mentioned and bottom line–no one can have too many true, good friends.

  14. UGH shoes for me are a nightmare—-I can never find a pair that fits and doesn’t cause pain when I walk. BUT I have great friends!

  16. What an insightful post and interesting concept! I am with you – mine breakdown as such:

    – sneaker friends (similar reasons!)
    – flip flop friends (these are beach – cruising around, easy going, easy to pick up relationships)
    – Chacos friends (these are my strap-on, adventure sandals and those friends typically love this beloved sandal and we’ve hiked in snow, crossed rivers, and lived outside in them – always in community, never alone)
    – fancy shoes (any kind of event, trendy evening out, downtown fun; typically wedges as heels kill me but they’re fun to wear every now and then)

    How neat (and also so hard, I can only imagine) to think of Sue – an overshoe friend. 🙂 Thanks for sharing this great post, Carla!

  19. Aw I love this. I can definitely relate. I need a variety of friends around to keep me improving and thinking outside the box. Also, I need some strong, brave friends to be able to carry me through things when I can’t do it on my own!

  20. OK, I had a hard tim reading this, because, umm, shoes! Pretty shoes!

    I love your categorization and think it’s spot on. I am thankful that I have a lot of sneaker friends in my life because I’m definitely a sneaker sort of girl. Even if I’m the extrovert to your introvert…

  21. Oh mine totally match yours too!!! I need to be honest to myself…as much as I would love to sometimes be the stiletto shoe, I am truly a sneaker gal. Those shoes have taken over my closet. 🙂

  24. I love this so much, especially because I often explain my lifestyle by saying that I am either sweating or covered in glitter/ barefoot or in sneakers or in stilettos! It’s amazing how much shoes can tell us about people, and how they can make such a great metaphor!

  25. My friends are all work boots- reliable, in it for the long haul and most come with a steel toe for protection. Wha????????

  26. Love it! Many years ago (30 to be precise) my best friend and I realized we were each others old shoes. So I so get the shoe analogy!

  28. Definitely a sneaker/flip-flop type person here, but currently a one shoe/one orthopedic boot person. I don’t even want to think about a metaphor for that. 🙂

  29. Ha! Cute way of looking at how we are different. As a Gemini I’m a cross between the sneaker girlfriend and the flip flop girl friend. While I know a few stilettos types, we aren’t that close. Now I know why.

  33. I’ve never thought about what I get from each type of friendship so this is hard for me. I sort of group my friends via definition if that makes sense. School friends, close friends, work friends, virtual friends, blogging friends etc.

    Something to ponder however…

  36. Such a fun yet seriously thought provoking piece. Love the categories, but I also have those friends who I only see maybe every few years, but it’s like we’ve never lost a step. I guess the shoes that I only pull out for special occasions but would never think of getting rid of!

  38. I love all your shoes! My most important “shoe” is there in good times and bad, clean and dirty, and never turns a heel on me. 🙂

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