Are you sound or silence?

by

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silence.

Ive written before about how I classify myself as an omnivert.

Even though I feel introverted at times, when I examine the defining traits I see it’s not entirely who I am.

I don’t mind small talk (I’ve found it can actually reveal a lot about who a person is and what her priorities are).

I learn more through jumping in and trying than through hanging back and observing.

I certainly do not hold my emotions inside or keep them hidden.

#nofilter tee

When it comes to how I recharge, however, I completely claim introvert status.

While extroverts regain energy through immersing themselves in groups of people; introverts require snippets of solitude or silence to recharge.

That need for quiet describes me perfectly.

After a full day with friends, family, or strangers at a conference I’m only able to “refill my tank/head back out and do it again through silence.

Silence alone is great.

Quiet in a small group with each silently doing her own thing can work.

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stop, drop & silence.

I crave quiet so strongly I couldn’t believe anyone really recharged through noise until I conducted an informal poll and found friends who insisted Yep to refill/recharge their brain sought stimulation.

(seriously, I thought the recharge through interaction concept was something made up by researchers.)

Discussing with friends why they seek sound to reinvigorate was helpful as it crystallized for me why I’m a seeker of silence:

#1. Silence lowers my stress level.

Even when I’m interacting in an entirely fun fashion I’ve learned too much go go go can, in a sense, be stressful. Particularly at events or conferences where the increased loud-talking, noise and stimulation is a distinct change. My body interprets the change as stress. In addition, if I’m not off doing the fun and frivolous, I definitely require a quiet-break to recharge in order to de-stress  and keep going.

 

#2. Silence provides me daydream time.

I’m a believer in and advocate of giving our brains plenty of interaction balanced with dollops of downtime. Daydreaming recharges me. Choosing to allow my mind to wander after long periods of interaction is, in fact, highly productive. While it looks aimless on the outside, daydreaming assists me in processing the interactions I’ve experienced and recharges my creativity.

#3. Silence is my daily intermission.

We humans talk all too frequently about being facing fears and going out and doing all the things! Yet the bravest part of my day is often when I listen to my body’s request for recharging and am willing to face myself in the silence. It’s a daily time of reflection without the ability to distract myself from…myself.

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ideal recharging backdrop.

Once I’ve had my slice of silence (as The Child calls it)–I’m ready to go-go-go once again.

For me an over-abundance of noise or interaction without a break rarely equates to my being productive and never results in feelings of connection.

I see silence as luxurious.

I view silence as restorative.

I feel silence is rejuvenating.

And you?

All notions of introvert, extrovert and omnivert tossed aside:

  • Which do you seek: sound or silence?

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Comments

  2. Silence. Absolute and total silence. I crave it at the end of a day (or the middle, or the beginning) and a lot of times in the car I just shut off the radio and enjoy the silence.

  4. Love interacting with people & the excitement of learning new things. But there comes a point in the day where I can absorb no more & crave quiet & solitude.

  5. Silence, quiet, alone. No one pestering me with small talk, no siblings fighting, just me and quiet.

    My husband does not always understand this. Thankfully every Monday the kids go off to school and my husband goes to work and I have the house to myself for sometimes up to 9 glorious hours.

    It gets harder in the summer and then I dream of September and school and full quiet days again. and when everyone gets home I am so happy they are home and I am ready to take on the week.

  6. Hmm. For me I need solitude, but not silence. I almost always have the TV or NPR on in the background unless I’m writing. And I can recharge by people-watching as long as I don’t have to interact with them. 😉

  7. I always thought I was an extrovert. I gain energy through my interactions with people (and in fact get a little too revved up sometimes.). But I still love that short bit of time of complete silence at night before bed and in the morning before the kids get up and get cranky if I don’t get that time.

  8. I need silence in the a.m. as by 7:30 my world is full of loud preschoolers….until 2:30….then I come home and need to listen to the birdsong.

  9. In my job, I am with people all day long. It’s chaotic and loud in my clinic. So yes, I am a silence seeker. My friends have drifted away because at the end of a long day, I’ve got nothing left, and socializing doesn’t interest me. I run alone because I love the solitude of being in my own head.

    I wonder, would I be different if I didn’t work?

  10. I default to silence — but I can also usually tell when I’ve had more than enough time to recharge because I started craving sound by that point 😉

  11. I need lots and lots and lots of sound. Then I feel energized and ready to go again. Interesting post.

  12. I recharge in a similar way. Being alone with a little time to process is just what I need to keep going. Taking a short walk often does the trick! Sometimes at conferences I’ll sneak out for a few minutes and take a walk around the block just to recharge my batteries.

  13. Before having children, I displayed some qualities of an introvert, but was much more comfortable as an extrovert and had a high level sales job that required being in large groups and using my social skills. After having three children, including a set of twins, I am a full blown introvert. Let me be frank– they can suck the life out of me. I love them to pieces but they are basically like dealing with drunk amoeba’s. On the flip side, they can lift me up with the smallest little joke or drawing, so I think it balances out, but I , by choice, don’t have a lot of energy for anyone else in my life– I reserve it for my cute little amoeba’s.

  14. Silence. Most definitely.
    I can handle the noise of the day during the day. But by evening I am worn out on the noise. Which makes parenting pretty difficult at times. There is no silence with parenting, ever.
    But that is a topic for another day.

  15. I love this story, as someone who craves silence to recharge (and sometimes finds noise extremely energy draining) it’s an important reminder to find solace in silence to regain balance.

  17. This is ME! I NEED to be alone and not just occasionally. And I have been criticized for it. Years ago, I was with husband and pooch visiting with his cousins for several days and one afternoon I said I was going to take pooch out for a walk… and it was declared to the group that SHE needs to get away from us for a while, in a scornful voice. YES! I DID! and off we went. I recall other times too when someone or other would comment about my slipping out or away for a few minutes. But we HAVE to look after ourselves, don’t we?

  18. A friend of mine once explained that how one ‘rests’ is a reflection of being either an introvert or extrovert. I ‘rest’ in silence but my sister rests and recharges in the company of others.

    It took me a really long time to recognize that even though I need a ‘slice of silence’ (love that quote!) to rest, that doesn’t mean I should be alone all the time, or even most of the time. Connecting with other like-hearted people is so healthy and invigorating. This was a missing piece to my puzzle that I have just figured out.

    Thank you for sharing.

  19. I seek Silence.
    The Hubs seeks Sound.
    We balance well in the middle, but when we both need recharging simultaneously… we don’t really have separate spaces for these things so someone’s got to give. Those moments of “conflict” (the word feels like an exaggeration but I think it’s still the right one) are just part of our landscape now. He “gets” that I need that space sometimes. I love that I don’t have to “hide” the fact I enjoy his Saturday work-days because I get the house to myself for hours.

  20. I’ve written about this before and I say I’m an outgoing introvert. I need silence. BlogHer ’13 was wonderful but the noise overstimulated my senses. I love being with the ladies – don’t get me wrong, but the sheer size was too big for me.

    I do need down time, so I guess that being a writer, at home most of my days, suits me well. I’m glad you wrote about this.

    I am bummed I’m unable to go to BAM. Enjoy and hug the beauty from Ontario and the glowing twins for me. And one for yourself!

  21. I can find music/sound/talking/people energizing/uplifting/relaxing but after too much of it I always need a break. That’s when it’s time for a no-radio car ride or a long shower!

  22. Wow, looks like the majority here prefer silence – me too! When I lived in Chicago I had a 45 minute commute. It was the best way to start and end my work day.

  23. I completely agree. I need quiet and space to rewind. That’s was challenge with little ones around, so much easier now that they’re grown. The stress level can be just as high (like a call from college 500 miles away on my birthday “happy birthday mom, ummm, I broke my leg”), but the quiet time is so much easier to find.

  30. People think I am sound. They think so because I am very BUBBLY and OUTGOING and QUIRKY… But honestly. I am silence. I ADORE silence. And relish it. Like right now. THERE IS NOOOOO SOUND around me, other than my fingers typing this comment. And it’s wonderful. Bliss. There is a time and a place for sound. And right now ain’t the time or the place!

  31. Silence for a while each day is what i crave. Even if i am cleaning a house, i can recharge if i’m left in the house alone to just clean at my pace and be quiet.

  32. Very interesting one, Carla. I was born an introvert, turned into an extrovert, and am currently reverting back to my old introvert – minus the social phobia, which I conquered long ago. I also used to need sound, music, in my life almost 24/7. I found silence BORING. Not anymore! Silence is peaceful. Thank you for writing this.

  33. Late to respond, but wanted to put in my vote for silence. DH must have noise on all.the. time! I finally was in a place I felt strong enough to ask for every-other Saturday morning quiet instead of NPR. I work in a very quiet office, but am hard-of-hearing, so must be alert to sounds all day long. It takes more energy than one would think, and by the end of the day, the last thing I want to do is listen.

    I also find it interesting that DH uses noise through the day to stay alert while doing tedious work, but then uses audio books at night to go to sleep. It’s hard to comprehend how that works in his brain, but it does.

    Any time at home alone to myself in the quiet
    is a wonderful respite!

  34. Hi Carla,

    I really love your post. To be honest, I value balance. I love sound as much I love silence, When I can communicate with people and help them to find their direction in life, it is a really amazing feeling. When I meditate or spend time alone, it helps me reevaluate so many things in life.

    Many people connect silence with meditation. The truth is that you can be silent while doing chores at home, taking a shower or even walk outside. Quieting your mind doesn’t mean that you have to be exclusively at home.

    Zaria

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