The ability to bounce back is a crucial life-skill.
I’ve written about grit.
I’ve yammered about being brazen.
Lately, however, the focus here has veered away from both those things and careened toward the concept of resilience.
Nothing exemplifies the tween years more than unexpected friendship breakups, misunderstandings, and unrequited affections.
Un. Un. Un.
And, whether you’re 11 or 47 nothing overcomes the UN like possessing the ability to be resilient.
Resilience is what helps us to rebound when faced with stress and struggles. It’s our ability to spring back from difficult experiences and to recover quickly.
Setbacks happen to all of us—it’s how we handle them which defines who we are. Those who choose to learn and grown from (seemingly) negative experiences consistently emerge from them stronger than before.
The key to this? Resilience.
Teaching ourselves to be resilient is the same as strengthening any other muscle.
It occurs when we make the conscience choice to work on/strengthen the psychological trait before our lives demand it.
When we build these skills before they’re needed they are readywillingandable to come together and help us move through adversity/bounce back in a healthy way.
Dance with fear.
Resilience can seem challenging when we gather courage, attempt something outside of our comfort zone, and (for lack of a better word): fail. It’s during these times fear sidles up next to us and whispers in our ears: “I told you you couldn’t do this. I knew it was beyond your reach.”
It’s in these moments, if we are ever to acquire the skill of bouncing back, we need to befriend fear, dance with her and bring her along with us the very next time we LEAP.
When we choose to ruminate and rehash situations in our mind–we are definitely gazing in that rearview mirror. And, for those who may have forgotten, there’s a reason why that windshield is huge and the rearview so diminutive.
When we make the conscious decision to live mindfully/remain present we become solely focused on the now. We find ourselves immersed in life and unable to rehash or overly-reflect. For me launching my morning with a meditation practice facilitates my carrying this mindful habit into my day. Mindful living isn’t perfect-living, but it helps me come close to forgetting about the challenge or failure upon which I may have otherwise (mindlessly) ruminated.
This is easier
said typed than done. Just keep in mind solving/bouncing back happens when we make the effort and it’s not necessary we identify a solution on our first attempt. Research indicates those who brainstorm solutions to struggles (AKA work that resilience muscle through practice!) are better able to cope when life throws unexpected problems their way. Feel a ‘failure’ coming on? Try different approaches now in effort to change the outcome.
Seize any opportunity to head-off struggles and discover/maintain problem solving approaches which work for you.
Tell your brain a story.
Our cranium craves stories. In essence, when we consciously instruct our brains to look on the bright side of a scenario eventually it comes to believe what we’re ‘saying.’
The brain bounces back.
Dwelling and repeatedly telling ourselves “We’re stuck. We’re failures. We can’t do this.” only serves to weaken our ability to be resilient.
Thankfully, the non-tween around here hasn’t needed her resiliency-muscle too much lately.
A fact which is all the more reason I’m choosing to invest time strengthening it now (*flexes*) before it’s needed.
Just in case.
- When the path you’re on gets bumpy—how are you able to bounce back?