This movie made me jump up & shout Go Jewish People! Go Jewish People! Go!
I was not going to post today.
Ive decided to post only when the proverbial spirit moves me & thought what better than a holiday to start implementing some blogcation time.
Then I started to wonder: is Good Friday even a big thing?
I love it because Im dragging the Renaissance Man out to play (Im fairly confident he has work to do but also that his office is technically closed. Life is too short to work when the office is technically closed types the woman whose entire domicile is her office & seems always to be working)
So I decided not to seize a blogcation day but toss at you a question that was lobbed frequently at me in Baltimore:
Did you ever struggle with not fitting in and caring about that? You seem so confident. As youve gotten older do you find it’s easier to be Unapologetically Yourself or is it still something you struggle with (MizFit note: my tagline may state FITNESS isnt about fitting in but you need know me for only a few moments to realize that’s my life tagline as well)?
I love this question because it cuts to the heart of why I blog.
It has indeed taken me almost 40 and a HALF (90 shopping days left till 41!) to get to where I am today & if I can save someone else even a year or three—my life will have been a success.
Growing up all I wanted to do was go by unnoticed.
For me, in the community in which I lived, that was NOT being Jewish.
I slathered Sun-In in my dark hair each summer in an attempt to turn blond (results? ORANGE).
I begged my parents to let me join my friends at CCD so I’d not miss out on any girl-bonding time (results? Horrified parents).
I didnt exactly lie but pretty clearly implied I celebrated Christmas & slyly turned OFF the blue & white Hanukkah lites before friends came to pick me up at night during that season (results? Baffled parents).
All I wanted—like most kids in junior high/high school—was not to be different.
And, not surprisingly, the harder I worked at trying to guess what would make me fit in the more unhappy I grew.
The harder I worked at trying to guess what *other people* wanted from me in order to accept me as one of their own the more frustrated I became.
The turning point for me was Halloween when I was fourteen.
It was the morning of October 31st (devils night was embraced wholly in my neighborhood) and Id gone outside to grab the newspaper when I saw it.
Written in soap on the four windows of our garage were the letters: K I K E.
In that moment my entire lifeview shifted.
Ive no clue to this day who wrote them or if they grasped the gravity of what the word meant—but I certainly did.
It was my personal AH HA! moment of realization that try as I might to blend in & guess who the world wanted me to be/would be most accepting of—–the answer to who I was and whom I wanted to be was already inside of me.
(as I sit here typing this I realize that it’s not coming out as life-altering-a-moment as it was. I think it’s like that sometimes. If it isnt your moment the retelling of the tale conveys merely as that: a story)
Yes it took me another seven years or so to completely grow comfortable in my own skin but starting that day, as I worked to scrub the letters from our garage, I stopped searching outside myself.
For how to dresstalkbehavelook.
For my self-definition.
And, not surprisingly, I was far happier in all aspects of my life.
My relationships improved (from friendships to dating to parental) and I was simply more content as a person.
And Ive not looked back.
Hence my tagline.
In fitness, I think, we all want to get to the same place (healthy, energetic, live-longer etc) but that doesnt mean we all ‘must’ take the same path there.
In life, I choose to believe, we all want to get to the same place (happy, at peace, leave a mark on the world no matter how small) but that doesnt mean we all will take the same path there.
Life isnt about fitting in. It’s about carving your unique path & creating an existence which allows you to be your best self.
*leaps off soapbox she had zero intention of climbing upon when she started post*
So that’s me.
Jewish. Forty. Tattooed.
What have you done in the name of fitting in?
Will you join me in sharing in hopes of saving someone.anyone. the time & struggles its taken you to get where you are today?
Please to hit us all up in the comments.