Willpower vs Willingness.

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To know me in any fashion—be it I(n) R(eal) L(ife) or a new blogger-friend–is to know I never make New Years resolutions.

I created a personal mission statement over a decade ago and, while I tweak facets of it, it remains fairly constant & I remain unable to achieve it strive year in and out to reach it.

As a result, instead of yammering at you about the importance of goal setting this pre-2011 week, Ive chosen to focus on willpower.

Or, as better works for me, WILLINGNESS.

(video below)

What are your thoughts, Oh busy-planning-the-NYE-parties readers of mine?

Do you possess the tremendous amounts of willpower I do not?

Are you, as I am, simply willing to do what it takes to reach your goal/achieve your personal mission statement because it’s just that IMPORTANT TO YOU?

What are your thoughts, oh Bumbling Band?

Or do you (as I always hope this articulate blogger does) completely disagree with my take on the matter and have yet a third perspective to toss our way?

Please take a moment from your soiree-planning, send me an evite, & hit us all up in the comments below.

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Comments

  1. LOVE this. WIllingness is so much happier and gentler than WillPOWER. Which always felt like fighting with oneself. Overpowering a part of one’s own self, somehow.

    • Tamera, I think that you hit the nail on the head…. for many of us, willpower seems to be something you have or you don’t and is a GREAT scapegoat for not getting things done…. it’s as if you are powerless against your willpower. It let’s us cope with not being as much as we can be.

      I LOVE Willingness! Great way to phrase it to get a mental shift going.

  5. Sometimes maybe it’s semantics.

    I think we all have “some” willpower… else we’d never get our behinds out of bed on a frosty day and get to work on time.

    Thing is…it’s a limited commodity. Like the short explosion that bursts a rocket ship free of a planets gravity. Then it’s spent, and something else takes over, and continues the longer journey, and keeps up the momentum.

    Like… willingness. Routines, good habits, small healthy daily choices. We want it, so we find ways to make it happen. We do our homework, and find what works for us, personally.

    Oh well… that’s my 3 cents worth. 😉
    Thanks for another thought-provoking post.
    Loretta
    =^..^=

    • I LOVE THIS and it’s so true. will all areas of life:

      We want it, so we find ways to make it happen

  6. I know for me the concept of willingness would mean I have reached the place of thinking I am worth the effort.

    Did you struggle with this Miz??

    • FANTASTIC point, Hannah. The husband and I had this conversation in a way this past weekend. It is IMO a crucial step to realize and decide you are worth the effort as that’s for me when it sliiid into willingness to do for myself as opposed to looking externally for willpower.

      • The value and worth piece, IMO, is at the heart of all of this. My track record is proof that I didn’t care very much – and even when I don’t “feel” like I care, I have to act as if. It’s funny, but faking it has been the back door to my caring more. For me, I had to “act” my way to “feeling” differently.

        Hugs!

  7. I love this idea. I have always beaten myself up for not having willpower. I am going to see if I can shift how I think about this as I move into 2011.

  8. Hmm…this is a good observation – the difference between willpower and willingness. Recently, I haven’t had either. I’ve been straddling the fence of bad and worse, with good healthy behaviors not even in the mix.

    I need to find that willingness to do what is necessary. I’ve been letting things get in the way for so long.

  9. People who have walked before me on the path of recovery have taught me to embrace Honesty, Open-Mindedness, and Willingess. Thank you for this post. Spot on!

  10. I have amazing willpower but the problem is that it doesn’t seem to be sustainable. I can do incredible things for shorts periods of time but willingness seems like something that would ultimately end up lasting for the long haul. Thanks for the thought today…

  12. I think its about willingness. Think about all the questions and comments you get from those not involved in living a healthy lifestyle. You have to be willing to answer them. That alarm goes off at 4am to go to the pool to swim 2 miles and you have to be willing to do that.

    Willpower is a powerful tool but its life-cycle is short and unless you are willing to incorporate chamges in your life you will fail.

  13. Ooh! I love this topic because I have recently discovered that it isn’t about willpower at all! Took me so many years to figure this out. I had to be WILLING to make changes and compromises in the way I eat and move. When I willingly made the changes,I realized it wasn’t about being perfect it was about being willing to change and make better choices consistently.

  14. I rarely comment, but this rings so true for me and my successes as well.

    Willpower is a tool of brute force which I can sustain only in the briefest of measure.

    Jim

  15. I’m glad I have a cup of coffee while I am contemplating this–lots to think about at 7:00 am!

    I think willpower connotes doing something that you don’t want to because you think you need/have to, while willingness connotes making that choices that you want to make to reach your goals.

    Right now, I am living a life full of willingness. I hope I can carry that in to 2011 and beyond!

  17. Interesting you should post on this topic. I am reading this odd little book from 1909 called “The Education of the Will.” It takes a pretty harsh view of human will and basically says people are inherently lazy and want to do as little as possible their whole lives. Kind of like “willingness” to do what needs to be done vs. “willpower” to constantly (sometimes painfully) strive for the absolute best. I think you sell yourself short. Anyone with your level of success MUST have willpower. I see “willingness” more as a “cog in the machine” mentality. You do what needs to be done to survive. Willpower is the ability to take it a step further – no matter how small that step is – to live better.

  18. Fantastic video. I disagree.

    I need to have both. The willpower to put down the food and the willingness to sustain this action for long periods of time.

  20. Fabulous post, Miz. Sometimes our willpower is strong. We are in “the zone” when nothing can touch our commitment to our goals. But then something happens, and our willpower, or as I look at it – our perfectionism fails us. This is when our willingness is important. It is our willingness to do the next right thing kicks in.

    Willpower is unsustainable. Willingness is, as someone said above, our decision that we are worth the effort.

    • It was shocking to me how…surprising it was to my husband as well when I bottom-lined it that way for him, too.

      (we were talking food and I bluntly said that HELLS YES there are many many moments where Im too tired too hungry to make a healthy meal and would prefer the ease of a drive thru. But I STOP DROP AND ROLL, errr, STOP REMEMBER (why Im doing this) & DECIDE (Im worth the effort).

      oops 🙂

      sorry for the responserant

  21. Interesting thoughts. For me its definitely willingness! If I didn’t eat well and take time to rest when I need it…I could never deliver to my group fitness classes, friends & family. Happy (almost) New Year!

  22. simply willing to do what it takes to reach your goal/achieve your personal mission statement because it’s just that IMPORTANT TO YOU?

    Carla, interesting points! I see what you are saying above & that is me but I still call it willpower too & now will use both words because I do control what is right for me & I do feel like I am in control in the gym & no boss or anyone else is….

    I think they are the same but in my mind it comes down to semantics. I am willing to do what it takes but I also feel that I am able to control me & my bod to the best I can with hormones & age & such.

  23. I was just arguing about this with mu husband yesterday. I was talking about how hard it is for even Oprah to lose and keep off weight, even with her millions and extensive help. He said she l lacked discipline. I said, “Really? You think Oprah Effing Winfrey, the woman who created and runs a multi-million dollar media empire, lacks discipline?”. I’m equating discipline with willpower, though, and I know they aren’t exactly the same, but I also don’t think she lacks willpower. I was just trying to explain that it’s not as easy as he thinks to lose weight. He sometimes packs on a few pounds but he then loses it easily; he doesn’t get it.

    Anyway, I like the idea of willingness instead of willpower. I think it goes along with my thinking that you have to be very flexible in your journey. If one method of reaching your goal is not working, you don’t keep banging your head against a brick wall, you turn and try to find a way around, try a little tweak, if not a bigger change.

  24. I think it’s very important to have both, but realize that willpower often fails.

    Willpower has gotten a dirty name in the fitness and diet community, because it seems to be associated with deprivation. Yet I think that very often it’s that willpower and not mere willingness that helps us make the BIG changes.

    Look, we all know what’s right and wrong… when it comes to health or anything else. And we THINK we’re willing to do what’s right, but when it comes right down to it, do we give in to old habits, base desires, or some other influence?

    I always tell my kids: It’s hard to remember to say know in the back seat of a Chevy. That means to me that while I expect them to be WILLING to maintain chastity, I know that there are times that they have to have the WILLPOWER to say no when faced with temptation, and knowing that willpower is the least reliable motivation, have a backup plan.

    I think the same thing happens when it comes to health and fitness. We have (or think we have) enough willingness and motivation to change, but then something comes along that we just have to tough out.

    In behavioral theory, there are two ways to change behavior: One is extinguishing undesirable behavior, the other is replacing undesirable behavior with desirable behavior. We know that the first method works the fastest, but has the lowest probability of being maintained, and that the second works the slowest but has the highest possibility of being maintained.

    I’d say that willpower is more like extinguishing undesirable behaviors immediately (and may work immediately but not long term) and that willingness provides a goal behavior that is more easily maintained. The thing is, for many of us, if the two don’t work in harmony, we don’t get anywhere.

    There are times we need our willpower… to just pull on our big girl panties and do what needs to be done. But also knowing that willpower often fails, we need to know what it is that will satisfy us in our goals… and develop that willingness (and that plan, because without action, willingness is nothing) to achieve them.

  25. Intriguing points.

    I’d say it is a mixture for me rigt now. With out force of will power I would lay in bed all this week.

  26. Good post Miz. I struggle with sustaining willpower for sure. When things are going well, I get enough sleep, my life isn’t as stressful, the willpower is there, but w/ stress & lack of sleep, forget it….on a NYE related note, I found these NYE party cards online and they made me think of you http://www.realsimple.com/static/pdfs/playingcards.pdf

    Happy New Year!

  28. Interesting. My gears are turning now. I’ve always thought I had quite a bit of willpower, but I’m thinking that shifting to thinking/acting with willingness puts a whole new light on the situation. Less grit your teeth and get through and more being willing to make good choices, do what we need to do, etc. I don’t know, sort of changes the whole game.

  29. Great post and comments
    It is simplistic for me I fear. Being willing makes the whole thing feel less like punnishment.

    Happy New Year!

  30. Eerie! have you been playing inside my mind? I was thinking about this exact thing yesterday. This is just weird. I guess it was last year you made a comment on my blog about will power and willingness and it stuck with me and I rattle it around sometimes.

    To be completely honest, I’m not sure what I have. At this point I’d have to say willingness as it applies to losing weight. I am being rather strict with myself in some ways because I feel I must lose the weight right this minute. Dr. had given me some scary news and I’m fighting the future me. Well, the future me if I didn’t lose the weight.

    I am willing to do what it takes so I can run/walk a half marathon and get that pretty medal.

    I am willing to do whatever I have to do to lose the weight.

    LOVE this post because it gives a lot of food (calorie-free) for thought.

  31. “I started to finish it” ~Donald Miller

    I couldn’t agree more. Willpower = doom and mental bondage

    Willingness is a decision.

    Love this.

  32. Wow, excellent topic and something that has been running through my mind the last couple of days. I think a number of commenters hit on an important point (at least for me). Willpower seems to be used for a negative purpose; i.e. avoid something or break a habit; whereas willingness seems to more positive action, as in I’m willing to do this because it’s good for me. Although they only are words, the human brain is very resistant to the negative. What you resist persists. So for that reason I’m working on getting rid of negative words and to me willpower definitely conjures images of negative things and so, to make a short comment long – I’m focusing on willingness this year 🙂

  33. Light bulb moment for me, reading this post. I’ve been struggling big time lately, and had the thought that it’s because I’ve just not. been. willing. To do the work. To make difficult choices. And the thing is, I WANT to GET willing, and quick-like! Because I want to be willing for the rest of my life – that’s what it will take for me.

    So, yeah. Willpower helps but is fickle. Willingness is something I can work on building up forever. Thanks for the thought-provoking-ness-ment!

  35. For me they go hand in hand – I do have the willpower, and most of the time I am willing to do what I need to do in order to achieve my goals…but sometimes the ornery child in me comes out and I lost my willingness…and that’s when the willpower steps in.

    Or it could be that I had neither this month when it came to M&M’s. 😉

  36. It takes WILLPOWER (which I have in small doses lately) to not eat junk food and restrict my calories to where they need to be to lose weight.

    I have all the WILLINGNESS in the world to train hard and fuel my body for races.

    I can’t seem to put together yet that the better I succeed at #1 in the off season, the better I’ll be at #2 next year. Sigh. Working on it.

  37. I think for me it’s willingness. Whenever I was really willing to make changes I did it. Sometimes I’m just not willing to make the effort because I want to do what I momentarily feel like doing. Momentary feelings have probably gotten me in more troubles than I can count. Great thoughts about the two. Really caused me to self examine.

  38. Wait, the new blogger friend was me! And in my standard, I’m a bonehead fashion, I missed it! *sheesh* … I just wanna say I am blessed to call you friend & I could think of no one better to drag to my next tattoo session! xoxo!

  39. Willpower is what I tell myself I have when I push too hard and get injured trying to be better, faster, stronger.

    Willingness I what I’m learning to let my body do what it can and find things I enjoy to be healthy.

  40. Interesting thought. I think it’s sort of like determination and being stubborn. They both basically mean the same thing but one is considered more positive than the other. I think both willingness and willpower can be learned and used to achieve goals.

    Umm…I hate sounding shallow but I love your arms. So lovely.

  41. Hmmm very interesting! For me, I decided when I was 250 pounds that I’d much rather be 150 pounds than “too lazy to workout” or “I really want that extra piece of pie.” I have the willpower because I never want to be 250 pounds again!

  42. This topic reminds me of a conversation you and I had at TypeACon in September. In regards to food, it’s not a matter of AVOIDING things that are bad for you, but fueling your body with what it needs. That conversation helped me so much!

  43. “Willpower” is a rather negatively charged term for me, personally. So I definitely like “willingness” better. Kind of how I prefer “goals for the year” to “New Year’s Resolutions.” 😉 And for me to achieve them, they have to be things I’m “willing” to do (and was planning to do anyway).

  44. Willingness could even come before willpower as in I’m willing to have willpower or I have a willingness to have willpower. At any rate, I had a willingness to write a comment & no willpower to stop myself from doing so.

  45. What I like about this distinction is that it gets at the difference between weight loss and maintenance. For weight loss I need will power. But for maintenance I need to know what the long-term effect is of junk food. I had a severe set back this year, after a decade or more of eating well and exercising regularly, I holed up in bed with junk food, didn’t cook or exercise or interact with the world. I was clearly in a depression – and willingness to plan for my future went out the window. Which can happen more or less often depending on what your motivation is. Eating well “for my child” sounds great – until that child acts up, rebels against healthy food, doesn’t care what his parents think… There’s a line in “the big C” after the character has learned she has stage 4, untreatable, cancer, where she says “I’m just going to have desserts and alcohol”

  46. I very much enjoyed this video. I started following your blog recently and I have found your posts very entertaining 🙂

    I think this video sums up how I feel about bodybuilding and what I think is necessary for anyone to reach their goals (albeit fitness related or otherwise). Very well put!

  47. Willpower – I almost always have NONE. And willingness – I have to continually speak to my Higher Power about. I remember at one time in my life being so low, that I would beg Him for the willingness to be willing. I felt that far ‘out the door’ you know? Today things are much better and I can just ask for willingness. Thank goodness! Great topic, for sure, Miz!!

  48. Willpower? I can’t seem to find mine. But, I do utilize mindful thinking, mindful eating, and mindful getting off my duff and exercising. So, this NYE I’m bringing out my Mindfulness and applying it to all that I want to accomplish in the comming year. Actually, I’m starting just a little early this year because I’ve got stuff to do and don’t want to waste any more time than I already have.

    Thanks for your “Willingness” example, I love that too.

  49. Thanks for this Carla…after doing the kitchen workout I was so realizing I don’t have the “willpower” to do a routine regular workout at this time in my life. Knowing I need to move my body to feel good and alive I started to wonder what if I just did things daily that brought me joy (like your kitchen dips…yes they brought me joy, really! No changing clothes, and I am always in my kitchen.) So this is it for me:
    daily bursts of joy

    I’m not sure what it will actually look like but today it includes a dance class because I love the music 🙂 yesterday was a walk on the beach with some dunes thrown in :):)
    day before was the kitchen workout (small I know, but something just the same)

    So again thanks! I have NO willpower but today realize I have willingness…willingness to move my body joyfully daily!
    Happy New Year to you and all your amazing commenters/followers.

  50. Willingness…I love it. And it’s dead on..wow. I am willing..I am doing it..and this year, I’m doing NYE in ATX so if you want an e-vite I have one for you! =)

  54. Great post Carla! Willpower to me feels restrictive – especially around diet/nutrition – the willpower to not eat all the cookies, or whatever. And that has really not been my path – because I’ve been willing to do more of the good stuff (veggies, water, movement). By filling my time/space/energy on more of the good stuff, there is less space for things that I must exert willpower over.

    Willingness? It ebbs and flows for me for sure. When I don’t have it, I act as if. And sometimes I take a deep breath, find the loving voice deep inside, just hope for the willingness to be willing. And that has never failed me.

    Love all these comments – such a great discussion!

  55. Hey Miz Fit!!

    Yeah, good question. First, the two words have such different connotations for me. Will power means, for me, that there is something you have to resist, something you have to keep up that is really really hard. It makes me feel like NO WAY I CAN’T!

    Willingness is a really positive open word. Are you open to doing what needs to be don…are you open to life, open to new experiences. It seems to be more inclusive of things outside of ourselves, while will power is just us doing it ourselves with no support.

    I’m going to start thinking about it as willingness. It doesn’t give me a panic attack like “will power” does.

    It seems also that when, say, I’m not able to eat the way I feel I want to, saying, “I have no will power” is just self defeating. Maybe saying, “I’d like to be more willing” would be better and more positive.

    Thanks, lady!!

  57. Definitely Willingness. But can you believe I’ve only discovered it in the last few weeks? I’ve been running off willpower for YEARS. Sure, I made great progress, but something recently clicked in me and I’m now WILLING to do what it takes. It’s so very liberating.

  59. When I think of power, I think of an energy force to drive that power: a rushing river, heat/fire, electricity, etc. When the source is gone, the power is gone. It’s hard to sustain and can be out of our control.

    Raising children, overworking, lack of sleep, lack of nutrition, and lack of caloric fuel because of some fad diet do not sustain power.

    Somewhere in there is your soul/spirit/essence — is it willing?

  61. I feel like in the last 2 years of my weight loss, fitness & health journey my motivation has transformed from will power to willingness. I much prefer the latter. Thanks for this post!

  62. You look great and I’m awed by your freaking number of comments girlfriend. Nice! Willpower/willingness… I always find willingness comes first. I don’t understand willpower really – willing yourself to do something perhaps? Willpower sounds like forcing yourself to do something despite agonizing denials from your mind or body. It’s all about motivation in my mind. Once you find that, you’re golden. Happy new year!

  63. In terms of food I always thought I had willpower until I got frustrated. I really hate that word “willpower”. I like the word willingness and plan on using that. I DO have the willingness but not total knowledge to succeed. I have the willingness to exercise, but sometimes lack the motivation. It really makes you think. I can do it…No, I WILL do it.

  64. Thanks for this idea – very helpful for me right now.
    I am thinking about my willingless to accept some truths – overeating and under-moving/exercising are old habits that harm my current focus on valuing myself. Am I willing to really really accept that overeating doesn’t help me and let it go?

  66. I think willingness is a better word than willpower. Weight loss and maintenance is pretty simple math and it doesn’t take “willpower” to stay strong. What it takes is the real DESIRE to make a change. And work for that change.

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