This weekend, as I worked on an (assigned) article about having it all, I returned to a conclusion I’d reached long ago.
We cannot have it all. It’s impossible.
Or, more aptly put, I re-concluded there’s no way *I* can have it all.
(if youre thinking this wasnt a popular stance with my editor you’d be assuming correctly.)
The “all” I was assigned to ponder was work-success, familial-success, personal satisfaction and (this one I added) a fulfilling spiritual life.
It was definitely the mainstream definition of “all.”
Back in my younger days (post-marriage/pre-motherhood) I believed this was all (pun intended) easier for men.
I wrongly thought, because the majority of family-stuffs traditionally fall on the woman, it would always be harder for me.
That no matter how egalitarian the structure of our relationship I’d never have it “all” by sheer virtue of being the crazybusy, frequently harried, mother-type.
I realize now we both are compelled to make choices.
Shabbat or working late.
Volunteering at school or squeezing in more freelance work.
Morning slumber or up-at-crack writing so I can meet the bus after-school.
Kindergarten assembly or missing a meeting.
I believe there exists ZERO possibility for work/life balance.
I always have.
This fact used to make a woman I adored (and who was an amazing coach) crazy as she steadfastly believed it was something we could achieve.
It’s never happening for this misfit. For me it is 100% about work/life harmony.
I’m constantly juggling.
Typically with 2 balls happily aloft while the third comes perilously close to slamming to the ground.
My way of snatching the
rolled up sock ball before it hit the ground used to be burning the midnight oil…
…until I realized the ball which slammed to the earth then was me.
So I snagged that one,
stole away for some me-time lobed it high in the air, & invariably another careened toward missed deadlines slammage till I snatched it up just-in-time too.
While writing and editing (editing & rewriting) last night I had a realization.
One you may have already reached, but which was newish for this bleary mama.
I can have it all.
I *do* have it all.
I just need to remain fluid with my definition and remember it will shift & morph as life does the same.
I just need to look inside when I create my version of ‘all’ and tune *out* external cues & messaging.
I just need to remember work/life harmony will look different for me than it will for another & that’s ok.
I just need to find, formulate & maintain an ‘all’ which works for me & my family.
Do you disagree with me? Do you believe work/life balance exists?
Have you found an approach to ‘having it all’ which works for you?
When was the last time you challenged yourself about your priorities?
Anyone LOVE this Warren G song as I do?