I’ve been thinking about what it means to be brazen since Carla’s original post and call to action to live brazenly alongside her.
Why do so many of us – as was seen in the comments – think of brazen as bad?
To live boldly and without shame?
To work in a way that’s “unrestrained by convention?”
To be unapologetically ourselves?
I read those words and my heart says, “Yes! Yes, that’s what I want.”
Why I am not accepting the challenge yet?
Because there’s nothing bad about brazen, until I find myself in a position to be it. And I cave.
I become shy about what I think. Meek when invited to express my honest opinion. Shamed by small mistakes I may have made or words I used and since thought better of.
There’s certainly a feminist case to be made, though it’s not my particular area of interest or expertise so I’ll leave that case to be made by someone else.
My area of interest is observing and understanding the human condition – then I write about it. I do this so I can understand why we are the way we are and how I can live a life I want, and not the life others want for us. I strive to live my life with intention which is why I’m troubled by how negative we all consider the word brazen.
As if, the “good” way to live is cowardly and with shame.
Restrained by convention.
Constantly apologizing for ourselves.
Good or bad, this is how most of us live day to day.
I know this is how I live to day to day, even while I am working on being powerful, loving and compassionate.
You know why?
Because I’m afraid.
It’s that simple.
In order to be brazen, I need to be willing to accept potential consequences I am not willing yet to accept.
I am willing, however, to perform brazen acts.
To write boldly.
To shamelessly and unapologetically mother my children.
To be unrestrained by convention in some ways, but not others. (I live on a kibbutz in Israel, after all).
And perhaps, as with many of my fears, I’ll find in time that the more I act brazenly, the closer I am to being brazen.
That one day, a day will come when I am 100%, always and everywhere, unapologetically me.
And owning it.
Jen Maidenberg grew up in New Jersey and
recently moved to a kibbutz in Israel with her husband and their three young children in search of … something. Something greener, something slower. A more mindful life. She blogs about her life as an working immigrant mother and a woman on her way to 40 at http://imadealiyah.wordpress.