Fighting over exercise (guest post).

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Please to welcome Charlie and her response to my blog post about judging others.

There was another discussion this week about how busy I am, how I get up too early everyday to see Tom, (my boyfriend) and have breakfast with him before work and he wishes this wasn’t the case.

I completely understand that he’s annoyed that our morning interaction is me kissing him goodbye on the head in the pitch black (about 6.15am) while he grunts and rolls over.

It’s not ideal.

However I don’t know how to get around it.

I like to exercise in the morning, and with an earlier start time at my new job, my workout has to finish by 8.15 latest.

My marathon ban just adds to my own frustration when it comes to this argument.

Fighting over exercise isn’t something I’m new to.

I was told in an old job ‘no more lunchtime gym sessions’ as they would often run 5 mins over my hour lunchbreak (I would get in half an hour early to make up for this!).

Working in a team where exercise wasn’t a priority made it tough to justify leaving on time to get to a class or taking my lunch hour to workout.

I felt judged that I wasn’t working during my lunch hour like some of the others, despite the fact that it actually can lead to less productive work!
It’s a constant battle to exercise on vacation with both friends and family, where I’m told to just ‘relax’!

This IS what I do to relax!! Why don’t they understand that exercise can be fun, and a vacation is supposed to be fun! On a family holiday a few years, more than 3 members of my family spoke to me about their concern for my ‘unhealthy exercise habits’.

I workout regularly, about 5 days a week for no more than an hour, take at least one full rest days and like to stay active.

I’m fit, I’m healthy and I am an appropriate weight and BMI. I know long distance running can be harmful to your knees/body etc but I feel like I have a good balance of workouts, see a physio and generally try to look after myself as best I can.

What I don’t understand is why people think it’s ok to criticise your exercise behaviour, yet no-one mentions the person who drinks too much, is overweight or smokes heavily?

When I go out with friends, I find myself giving excuses as to why I have to leave early or not drink too much.

Usually it’s because I’m running the following morning, however this reason is met with groans and exclamations that it’s ‘so weird’ that I would get up early on a weekend morning to exercise.

Why is it weird not to want to wake up with a hangover that leaves me confined to the sofa all day, achieving nothing on my two days off?

It seems that a terrible hangover has bragging rights, whilst deciding to wake up early to run or workout out is judged as being odd.
This comes as reports announce that the recommended 150 minutes of exercise each week is ‘unrealistic’.

Perhaps if people shift their viewpoint towards exercise and see it as a necessary addition to our day, and not only that but see that it can be a relaxing, enjoyable past time, rather than a punishment and a tool only for losing weight, then there wouldn’t be so many overweight, unfit and unhappy people in the UK and USA.

Perhaps if it wasn’t so taboo to make judgements on those who make unhealthy lifestyle choices, and people actually celebrated healthy eating and exercise, then perhaps our healthcare systems might not be under so much pressure right now!

What do you think? Have you judged another for her lifestyle?

Charlie blogs at www.therunnerbeans.com where she strives to ‘pace the way to healthy’ without missing out on fun. She runs marathons, is working towards Boston Qualification, and tries to give every workout class in London a go! You can also follow her on twitter and instagram too.

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Comments

  1. I am showing this to my boyfriend LOL
    We have the same kind of arguments, but in order to get to work mornings are my time.

  2. Great guest post! Nice to meet you charlie….by the way, i already liked you because my best friend is called charlie, and you dont often meet girls called charlie. Love it 🙂 Anyway, this was a great point, and funny your comment about the 6:15am kiss on the head, I do the exact same thing. We get in arguments more about that I am trying to do too many things, as my running coach, he does not mind the running, but hate that other things get in the way of my running. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I definitely feel judged sometimes when I tell others my mileage, they think it is excessive and stupid. Hopefully things are changing though….

    • Wow that’s interesting that he’s your run coach!! I get told I do too much and plan too much into my life!!

      Thanks for the comment! 🙂

  3. I’m sorry this is your experience. I’d say that since it’s what you love, all you can do is explain that to folks and know that you’re not changing anything regardless of comments.

    • Thank you- I think as I get older it’s becoming more of a non-negotiable and if ppl don’t support that then they aren’t all that!!

  4. I am lucky that my husband gets up even earlier than I do. And that’s early ((it’s 4:40 as I write this)!

    People can’t judge you if you don’t allow yourself to be judged. Be confident in your choices, and never allow them to make you feel guilty. Don’t get defensive because you have nothing to defend. Find some friends that feel the same way. Other runners will get it. Join a running club..that’s a great way to meet like-minded people.

    As for your boyfriend, make sure he knows that he’s welcome to join you. A heart to heart explaining why exercise and fitness is so important to you may help.

  5. Who cares what other people think/say about what you love to do? Just do it…I have been criticized for not eating donut holes and b’day cake at my work place and slammed for going for a run during parent conferences when I had a break. Most of the other women are overweight and have health issues. I don’t. Easy peasy.

  7. I hear ya! Perhaps you could start inviting the friends and family along with you when you go work out? Or perhaps you need to start cultivating some other friendships. !!

    In any case, I am glad that I did not see you making any plans to change your own schedule or give up because your circle doesn’t approve or understand.

  8. As a runner for 20 years now and wife of a non-runner for 10, I hear you!! All I can say is that you’re not alone and you just need to keep doing what’s right for YOU and try to find a friend or two who is like-minded.

  9. I love that you have made fitness such a priority and hate that people feel entitled to make negative comments about what you do.
    For years I got up at 4:30 every day in order to get my workout done before work. I still get up at 5:00 even though I don’t have a full-time job now – it just starts my day right if I workout first thing.

  11. I totally understand your issues, Charlie! The discussion with hubby about why I choose to get up early is a recurring one since I started getting fit about 15 years ago. There was even a time he blamed me for his sleep problems because it woke him up when my alarm went off and he couldn’t go back to sleep. It blew over before I had to come up with a way to make that work, because there is no way I’d give up my regular workouts -and would he really want me to be unhealthy again? (I know better than to ask THAT question…) As a compromise, I have switched 2 morning runs to evening ones, but that means he needs to be in charge of dinner – it seems to be working so far. I’d love to have him join me, but he is NOT a morning person.

    And I had to laugh over you making excuses to go home early the evening before a Saturday morning run, because it just wasn’t worth the grief the truth would bring down. Keep on doing what you’re doing – WE know you’re not crazy!

  12. I’m lucky to have friends and family who haven’t judged me, even if they thought there were times my running was excessive (there were) they’ve always been supportive and let me figure things out on my own. I do think finding supportive friends or friends with common interests is hugely important!

  13. If you love to exercise, and you aren’t in danger of overtraining, tell everyone else to buzz off! My mentality that exercise is punishment was drilled into me at an early age by PE instructors who let those of us who weren’t natural athletes know how sub par we were. If i could change one thing about me, being a person who loves exercise and sees it as relaxation would be a top contender for the “one thing.”

    • I used to hate going to the gym and spending 45mins on the cross trainer-and still do! I found things that I love doing and avoid the things I find boring or too awful ( for me that’s any dance class!)

  14. You have to do what’s best for you. Many times people try and stop you from doing something ( especially exercise- not sure why) because they themselves are dealing with something they are lacking. Perhaps they want more attention from you, maybe they themselves are unable to relax, maybe it’s their fear of not being productive, whatever the case may be, the important thing to remember is that we are all responsible for our own happiness. It’s not your job to please everyone. Follow your heart and don’t let the opinion of others control what you do.

  15. truly said exercise can be really fun and a person need to know how he or she can make exercise be more fun as well as helpful to your healthy life style u always need…

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