The other morning, as I had coffee and skimmed the Child’s Snapchat (our philosophy is the phone is mine and she’s borrowing it. I check sporadically in the name of keeping her safe.), I stumbled upon a snap which surprised me.
Stuck in between shout-outs to friends and messages of love to her Doodle was an image which made my eyes widen.
Let me back up for a moment.
Things around here have been good on the parenting front.
She’s shown me, again, how resilient she is even with all of the changes as of late.
I’ve watched as she’s confronted challenges and overcome them in creative ways.
I’ve also experienced her working to distance herself from me in a healthy and age appropriate fashion.
(we’ve been Frick & Frack for so long there have been seasons when I worried separation wouldn’t happen.)
The thing is, even with all those indicators, it’s parenthood.
It appeared things were going well, but I’m realist enough to acknowledge we never know for certain.
Layer on top of that the fact she’s typical tween/consistently attempting to maintain a cool, disaffected façade for her friends——the publicly shared Snap surprised me:
there was joy across the land.
I’m beginning to believe, no matter our Love Language, we all require a certain amount of words of affirmation in our lives.
We may not have any intention to shift whatever it is we’re doing (I have zero clue how to parent other than the approach I’ve chosen), yet affirmation/confirmation we’re on the right path remains invaluable.
Especially when it arrives to us (thank you, Universe) in unexpected ways.
As parents we can all too easily begin to ‘fear’ the strangers our tweens seem to become as they begin their path to independence and creating their own lives.
I’ve fallen prey to moments of staring at the Child while wondering Who are you? When did you become this? and Have I lost all sense of how to reach you?
The discovery during my Snapchat snoop was a clear reminder:What I’ve done all along is what I need to keep doing.
And, in a larger more Holy shit is this my life? way, needed reinforcement the more things appear to change (on the outside. the external.) the more they really do remain the same.
At least for now…