Recently Ive thought a lot about self-care and pleasure.
Self-care for me used to mean pedicures, massages and weekends with friends.
Self-care was defined as ‘things which made me feel nurtured‘ and which relaxed me.
Not all of these activities co$t money (an afternoon spent reading was as decadent as a fancy night out), yet they had one thing in common.
They weren’t productive.
They didn’t move me forward.
They were, in essence, activities about pleasure.
As crazy as it sounds this ‘pause and treat myself with love’ approach to self-care was not what my current life demanded.
I needed self-care in the truest sense of the word. Care which would help me create optimal physical, emotional and mental health.
Self-care, for me, needed to look like creating a budget.
It needed to look like making appointments with a financial planner and starting conversations about retirement I’d rather avoid.
All of this made sense (and felt great!) except for the fact:
If that was self-care then where did pleasure come from?!
And it dawned on me.
From acknowledging “pleasure is the ultimate self care” while concurrently removing the word self-care from the equation.
(bear with me)
It became all pleasure—-prioritized.
And Your Box Box was born.
An endeavor which grants women permission to pursue pleasure for its own sake.
A monthly reminder self-care may look like scheduling that check up we’ve been avoiding, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have pleasurable experiences before…AND after.
Ephemeral (but daily!) experiences with no focus other than feeling good.
And at least I need both in my life right now.
Have you paused to tease apart the notions of self-care and pleasure?
Do they have different roles in your life right now?
Jill saysJanuary 30, 2019 at 1:29 pm
I know EXACTLY what you mean. A couple of years ago self-care meant – having my teenage son run errands for me so I could go to Zumba or taking an afternoon off of work to just spend some time by myself because I AM NEVER ALONE. Self-care meant carving time out for myself AND figuring out what nurtured me at that time. Massages, bubble baths, long phone calls with old friends is what I needed then.
Self-care now looks like paying off debt, talking to a financial adviser, creating a list of monthly bills so my husband can join the bill-paying fun too. It looks like getting rid of clutter or making that appointment or doing whatever thing will lead to PEACE OF MIND for me – having peace of mind is the ultimate self-care goal for me.
messymimi saysJanuary 30, 2019 at 8:50 pm
Hadn’t thought about it that way, you are right, doing things to take good care of our money, home, life, etc., is a form of self care, and brings its own pleasure.
Lynn saysFebruary 1, 2019 at 3:34 pm
I got out of bed this morning with an enormous sense of peace and purpose. I credit some of it to a really good dharma podcast I listened to, but it was more than that. I’ve been taking care of my mind a lot more lately. Ergo, “pleasure.” 🙂
cherylann saysFebruary 7, 2019 at 10:37 am
No mortgage, no debt, retired and doing my run/bike/swim/weights/yoga daily along with re-painting every room in our house gives me great pleasure. Those things and thanks to k-y jelly and viagra my pleasure is always shared with my hubby!