If we had coffee…

by

hj

ahh sweet sweet morning java.

 

A little while ago I stumbled upon this blog post.

It resonated with me because it’s precisely how blog reading feels/is to me.  I read blogs in the morning with my coffee *before* the zaniness of my day begins.

I also liked the concept because my favorite blogs to *read* are written in that manner.  

As if we were just two friends getting together and chatting over coffee.

Ive got lots rolling around in my cranium today and really–if I could–I might not blog at all.

Id just invite you over for a cup.

Id tell you Im kind of terrified for the summer.  We’ve found our Oakland groove.  A few after school activities, a smattering of play dates, & the Tornado still surrenders to some mommy & me time.  It’s perfect.  And, in almost exactly a month, this new-perfect ends and summer begins.  Back in Austin Id know precisely how it would unfold.  Here? In Oakland? If we could meet for a latte Id tell you Im kind of terrified for the summer.

Id share with you how Id hoped this post would give me an epiphany.  Id overshare & ramble about how Im not sure what direction Im headed next.  Id badger you about whether you thought it’s time to shed my MizFit moniker.  Id repeatedly, annoyingly bring up how Im forty-three and ten months old and Im not sure where I want to weave my words anymore.  How Im ready to leap and make changes before 50 (!) — but uncertain where to begin.

Id smile in remembrance & share a Tornado story.   Id yammer about how she & her dad took a trip, had fun, sang songs and exhausted themselves.  Id laugh about how they inexplicably sang—at a random tour guide’s behest—rounds & rounds of You Are My Sunshine.  I’d stop, smile and tell you about how that night, as she couldn’t fall asleep, she told him:

Dada my skies are gray.  Mama is my sunshine.

Id tell you about a book Id just read & how it caused me to stop, think and *really* see the people around me.  Id ask you if you ever pondered things like that.  Id implore you to read it too so we could discuss.  Id giggle & tell you how I LONGED to start an early morning walking book club in my new neighborhood but I wasnt certain they were ready for Morning Me yet.  I’d grab my iphone and make you tell me all your favorite books and write done the ones Ive not read.

Id horrify you with my abundant knowledge of all the trashtastic shows on BRAVO.   Id yammer about Kroy, Bravo Andy, Patti Stanger, Josh Altman et al until youd wonder if I realized they werent really my friends.   Id beg you to DVR them and claim to only ever ever watch the stuff while I did cardio.

Id grow serious and share how the Tornado cried the other night as I held her.  How she said it was hard & she felt like she wasnt ten but wasnt four.  Id tell you how Id told her I understood.  I feel like Im not twenty—-but Im not 43 and eight months either.  Id tell you how she sobbed and said she didnt know what she was and I told her it’s ok.  Sometimes we dont know exactly what we are or how we feel and it’s ok.  Big people feel like that sometimes, too.

And then we’d both look at our watches and realize we needed to go.  Our to-do lists summoned and coffee time was over.

sad face.

sad face.

We wouldnt mind, however, because we’d know we’d be here again. 

Tomorrow. 

Sharing stories and drinking coffee.

 

  • If we had coffee—-what would you tell me?

 

POSTS BY EMAIL

Never miss a post. Enter your email to get my latest posts delivered to your inbox.

Comments

  1. An article that’s really struck a chord with me – thank you for the ‘chat’. I’ll shortly be moving to the Bay Area from Australia and an incredibly scared. Not just because of the summer (I don’t know what to expect) but also of leaving my family, friends and partner behind.

    Maybe this will help me figure out who I am!

  3. I am always amazed at how much we have in common despite our differences. My summer starts today with one child and both by the end of the week. It’s going to be fun and memorable. It will also be long, hot, and we’ll all butt heads and by August I’ll be longing for routine (and time to myself) again.

    You are more than MizFit to all of us and can write under any moniker you want (including your own name) and we’ll all come to read….coffee cup in hand.

  4. Awww, Tornado is precious. I love the theme of this post. Such a lovely way to think of it! I’d probably chat about baby stuff (since that’s on the brain today), and I would very happily take your mommy wisdom. 🙂 Cheers! (with coffee)

  5. I very much enjoyed our virtual coffee cup. I hope you feel better for having shared all that…looking forward to some of the conclusions!

  7. I hope you don’t mind that I am chatting with you over my second cup of coffee — the one that I am letting myself enjoy at home instead of taking it in my travel mug for work. Sorry there are so many grey skies, but you also have lots of sunshine. My summer angst – my son’s first summer home from college. Hopefully the sequester won’t totally kill his summer job.

  12. This is exactly how I feel and I so wish we could have real in person coffee together all the time. I do love our back up option of sharing each other through the blogs and catching up. You are very dear to me, my friend. I will pray for peace for you and the Tornado and everything this summer. I know how upheaval can cause other emotions. That it’s not necessarily the circumstance that can be challenging but the emotions it may cause. Big hugs and prayers! –

  13. I can relate to much of this, Carla.
    I wish we could have coffee and share everything.

  14. I love how articulate and in touch with her feeling the little tornado is. Send her hugs! Tell her I am 28, but sometimes I feel 100 and other 17.

    And I often wish we could have coffee in real life. Maybe I need to plan a US road trip – San Fran, Austin…where else? xoxo

  16. I would tell you I am tired and need more coffee LOL
    And I could listen to you talk forever.

  18. I’d tell you how much I admire you and enjoy listening to you talk 🙂

    “Sometimes we dont know exactly what we are or how we feel and it’s ok. Big people feel like that sometimes, too.” <– definitely.

  19. Blogs with these friend-to-friend posts are some of my favorites, too. Lots going on for you right now! I hope the pieces start coming together- for summer, for Tornado, for what’s next for you. I know they will!

  20. First, I am tearing up! I need to have coffee with you! I feel I have lost my way at times.. maybe your type of talk & feeling could bring me back.. I used to be more & I feel I am less now. I feel so much like this:

    Id overshare & ramble about how Im not sure what direction Im headed next. Id badger you about whether you thought it’s time to shed my”Fit ta 55/Truth2BeingFit”. Id repeatedly, annoyingly bring up how Im 55 and Im not sure where I want to weave my words anymore. How Im ready to leap and make changes before 56 (!) — but uncertain where to begin.

    I LOVE THIS CARLA!!!!! I just read a coffee post yesterday & love that too. It must be going around blogland.. and now you have n=me thinking even more if I need to move on…

  22. As I’m about to pour my 2nd cup, I’ll only suggest this: We are not here to raise our children inasmuch as we are a here to raise the future. It’s a collective. It is ongoing. Harshness. Happiness. Fulfillment. Fear. These are just some of the building blocks we haul, place, and step upon to raise that future.

  23. I would share I am scared of the summer too.
    I love my boys but am afraid I cannot keep them entertained all summer and have anything left for me.
    Thank you for always being honest.

  24. Love this virtual coffee chat!

    I’d probably just whine about a few minor grievances and then realize how freakin’ lucky I am. And then I’d start poking around your refrigerator to see what yummy treats you might have around to go with the coffee. 🙂

    Sounds like a confusing time of transition, which often means AWESOME things are to come!

  25. Oh to be able to have “coffee talk”!! I agree with Betsy…can you please pretty please write a motherhood book so in 6 years when my lovie is 10 I’ll know what the heck to do!! My heart breaks for Tornado but I know she has an amazing mom to be there for her!!

  26. I’d sit with you and then burst with how I wonder how I can say I write bout fitness when I’ve been failing and how HARD it is to get back on track and HOW BAD I am at it lately. Then I’d tearfully confide that I think my daughter has an eating disorder and I have NO CLUE on how to her her over her food addiction and how selfishly I want to just let her eat whatever the hell she wants becasue it’s not worth the nightly fights. and how terrible the nightly fights are becasue I refuse to give up on her. Then I’d listen to your tornado stories and tell you that my boy and I had a serious discussion about Heaven yesterday and how he thinks it;s like a place you go to live later and all the wonderful things you’ve ever dreamed about happen and then how he called me into his room last night and tearfully said, Mom, I know that everyone says that Santa and the Easter bunny arent real, but that kinda love just HAS TO BE real. RIGHT? And I agreed with him and we’ll both gulp down our last sips of coffee over the lumps of love in our throats for our kids and get up and get moving.

    So, when’s coffee?

  27. I sat down to read your post, coffee in hand and thinking “I have to get going, don’t have time to read another blog this morning.” Yet, I did. And I’m so glad I had the time to share a little of my coffee time with you. I shouldn’t ever doubt that it’s time well spent. Your words will all stick with me today as they typically do – thank you.

  28. thank you so much for your kind words. I read blogs in the morning only when I can GO SLOW and BE PRESENT with them and enjoy.
    I used to try and read them all—but found I rushed and didnt love.
    thank you thank you for reading.

  29. <3 I've had the pleasure of sitting with you, but we had to be quiet. I love coffee ( & miss it while growing a human) but would love one of your summer plans ( With E!) to be a visit to me once I have Josie, and a nice walk along the trail in front of my house that leads to the Napa river. We can even bring coffee! 🙂

  30. If we had coffee…well, first of all, YOU would be having coffee. I’d be drinking hot chocolate. Or water. Or vodka.

    Anyway, if you were drinking something together, I’d tell you that 9 years ago, I was in a new city, a new state, far away from everyone I loved (except my husband) and I was worrying about what would happen when school ended. I would be on vacation from my job as a teacher, but my husband would still be working. I had no friends to hang out with, what in the world would I do with myself?

    Then I would tell you that everything just came together that summer. It was not the miserable, lonely summer I’d feared. In fact, nine years later, I’d say: that summer is when my life really started.

    It’s amazing what can take place when you just let go and let life happen.

    By now your coffee would be empty and I’d need a top-off for the whipped cream on my hot chocolate.

    • YES! ThiS! 4 years ago, SAME! (ok, I spent a week bawling becasue I wasn’t invited to the Pool Club thing, then I just went up to someone as asked if I could go with them- and that was that! GO CARLA!

  32. If we had coffee, I would be on my 2nd cup and all the excitement of meeting a long time virtual mentor would be set aside.
    I would tell you how I am worried for Princess V as she is WAY TOO young to be entering middle school, the threshold of peer pressure.
    I would tell you how I am ready for grandchildren yet worry about my adult kids who still struggle in this economy and the unsureness of relationships that no longer seem to hold the old fashioned values instilled in them
    I would tell you how I love being in my new job and school and struggle to find the time to harmonize the woman in me versus the girl in me
    I would tell you how I long, dream, desire to make a creative difference and try to fit in to the rote of obligations
    and I would tell you I hope we stay friends for a very, very long time perhaps sitting in rocking chairs in our older age still enjoying a cup or two of coffee

  33. I’m reading this while sipping in my morning coffee too!
    Dark, strong espresso with a splash of low fat milk in my favourite cup. Mmm!

    What would we talk about? You already know the answer to this!

    Looking forward to having non-virtual coffee soon!

  34. Oh this post reminds me of one of my favorite Anne Lamott quotes: “Every age we’ve ever been is who we are.” It reminds me to embrace the times when I’m not feeling my current age and roll with whichever decade I’m feeling at the moment. And this is why you’ll catch me watching the occasional show on TLC. Or sometimes PBS. 🙂

    Do you ever look back on a time when you were uncomfortable and realize that it was actually something inside you daring you to step out or reach out or just leap? I have, and it was wonderful. Someday I hope to be able to distinguish between those times and the times when it’s my good common sense warning me away from the edge of a small cliff. LOL

    • Youre so wise. and a Lamott lover as am I. we DO NEEEEED ANOTHER IN REAL LIFE meeting.
      soon.

  35. If we had coffee….. (Gonna have to make a list)
    – I’m trying so hard to keep my daughter at a healthy weight without developing a fixation for her on being skinny. It’s so hard, but I also know it’s soooo hard to be an overweight teenager/adult.
    – I signed up for a sprint tri in August and have no idea what I’m doing. Second thought pretty much every single day.
    – My family eats horribly and I am giving in to their bad habits. I don’t want to go there. It’s o so hard.

    Then, I’d breathe, and ask you more about Tornado. 🙂 Thank you for being so very honest. I used to listen to this podcast called Two Fit Chicks and a Microphone when I first started losing weight. Maybe you’ve heard of it????

  38. I would tell you my hammies are sore from Kettlbells, 6 hours in a care and 3 hours sitting listening to Jillian Michaels talk. Then post coffee/tea we would foam roll.

  39. First, we should just have that coffee and see.

    Second, I’d tell you how I love SciFi although you don’t. And ramble on about how societies evolve when the rules change.

    Next, I’d wonder how the physical changes I hate are because of the LIFE decisions Ive made and hate. I’d admit I’m lonely and alone too much.

    I’d tell you goofy things the dogs do…

    I’d spend much more time listening than talking….

  40. Oh man..the things I’d tell you. I’d tell you how much I’m loving being a mom of two but also exhausted. I’d tell you about how I’m struggling to deal with the terrible twos.

    I’d tell you how much I wish this coffee I was drinking was caffeinated. 😉

  41. sometimes honestly it’s nice to know that even wonder woman has a big of a drifting thought about what to do next, thank you for sharing and i do hope we get a tea date when you make it to Orlando!

  42. First, I’d tell you to shut up because I was still sleeping. People who get up all early and perky have obviously made some kind of deal with the Devil and must be shunned.

    If you came back at a reasonable time, I’d assure you that you don’t have to grow up at 50. I just did 50 and I’m still acting quite childishly — you can ask my wife, she mentions it nearly daily.

    You might give up ownership of your child’s entire summer. As I recall, my mom pretty much chased us out the door after breakfast and didn’t want to see us again until dinner. Maybe you could try being “busy” now and then and just let her drive for a while.

    Or is that too scary a thought?

  44. I love this – tell the Tornado that I’m not 36 and not 10. But sometimes I still feel like I’m 17, and not sure where the world will go. I’m learning (at 36!) that it’s ok not to be sure.

    I’m not sure why this post brought tears to my eyes, unless it was just the bare honesty of it, and how much I relate, even though my life is so different from yours in many ways. I love your honesty.

  45. I love that you’re opening up a little bit more of the personal side of Mizfit. We definitely all go through those “terrify” times. If we had coffee, I’d have a venti ;). And I’d tell you that I’m amazed how fast Kaylin is growing up. She is a little person now. She says and does something new every darn day. I want to bottle up this time so I can remember it when she gets older

    • thank you for saying that…we are about to shift gears around here too 🙂
      the same — more misfit than any kind of Miss. Fit!–and yet different…
      back to blogging the way I did back in the day when I did it that way (oooh. deep :))

  47. Oh, I would love to have coffee (Chai for me) with you!! Books and Bravo TV are high on my list of things to talk about!! Plus, just the idea of sharing stuff. I love reading and feeling like, at the center, we are all just people trying to make our way the best we can for ourselves and those around us!!!

  48. If we had coffee would tell you that I love’d this post so very much on so many levels….I would tell you that I think you are an amazing mom….I’d ask you to give the Tornado a hug for me….I’d tell you that I feel like I’m ready for the next chapter before I turn 50 too but am feeling very unsure…I’d say we need more coffee chats 🙂

  49. Man, if we had coffee… I have so much on my brain right now, I don’t even know where I would start. I am a little sad this morning, so I probably would pour out what’s wrong with me, which would probably lead me to shed a tear or two… And then you might feel uncomfortable and think, UHH… I don’t even know you, and then I would slap myself outta it and be my chipper self once again and we would talk about how cool it would be if unicorns really excited.

    • NO WAY SISTER. Id sob with you and those AROUND US would be the only ones looking on in uncomfortablenessment. pinky swear.

  51. If we had coffee together together I would let you know that I appreciate you and your friendship. That I’m not totally sure how much longer I’ll be at this specific gym and that I was approached about a possible new opportunity to train out of a small studio. That I’m nervous-excited about my upcoming marathon and that I CANNOT wait for my mom to get here in June. I’d tell you that I’m thrilled with the warm weather and almost feel like I’m back in CA! And I’d ask you to hug the Tornado for me – and then give you a hug yourself. 🙂

  53. I feel like we have coffee every morning. Still in different time zones, but i know you are up and we are “catching Up.” I love that about you. Coffee date tomorrow? 5am, yes?

  54. Oh poor Tornado, pre-teen years aren’t the best. If we were having coffee this morning I’d tell you that I’m excited that I’m just about done with law school and so proud of myself, but that I’m worried about this summer and studying for the bar. I’m worried that I won’t pass, that I’ll be tortured all summer and that I’ll disappoint my friends because I’ll have to say no to so much fun stuff!

  55. Love this! First off, I’d tell you how much I’d enjoy our coffee dates, and that I think we’d often laugh till our stomachs hurt. But sometimes we’d probably cry together too. Then I’d tell you I was seriously thinking about getting my nose pierced a few weeks ago. But realized I’m chicken ’cause I feel too old. And we’d also talk about how painful it would have been anyway, and how gross it would be if I had a cold. 🙂

  56. I would tell you that next time we need to sneak in a splash of Bailey’s with that coffee! 🙂

    And that I adore your honesty and real, openness.

    I would tell you that I totally second guess myself as far as this whole blog gig goes and look to you for guidance on how to improve.

    And then we would hopefully swap stories about our girls and their crazy antics! Have a great week!!

  58. I’d tell you how much I love beautiful spring days, like the one were having today. Also how much I love a barbeque on days like this, cooking the food while the grandchildren play in the yard.

  60. Hi Carla. Thanks a bunch for stopping by my blog today. I can totally relate with a daughter who is not sure where she fits right now. My tea cup, however is a peace sign and not skulls. It would be great to stop by and have a cup and a chat.

  61. I LOVE her coffee date videos. I always want to do them too, but never do.
    If we had coffee… oh my, there’d be so much to catch up on I don’t know where I’d start.

  62. I would tell you that you are one of my role models and that I hope I will be as fun and quirky and smart as you when I am forty three and eight months. I’d ask you for advice about CHAARG, and I would definitely ask to play with Tornado!

  63. Miz, i would tell you that you make a difference in the lives of people, and you will continue to do so, no matter what direction you take or exactly what that looks like.

    Also, i would tell you to look up summer day camps and activities to help you both through the next few months.

    For me, i would have to go at that point, the kittens would be hungry again.;)

  64. Hey Miz, whatcha drinking? Oh ya? That sounds good. I’ve got a latte with an extra shot because I stay up too late on the blog while wifey and the first lady go to bed at a human hour. I can’t believe you have lived so close and we haven’t sat down together. I know, right? What am I reading? I’m reading some running book about some elite runner, or survivor of something, or finisher of some crazy distances over time, you know, the normal. What was my last non-running book? Malcolm Gladwell. I like his stuff. But wait, he was a runner back in the day and a fast one, too. But that counts. Oh, my bagel is ready, be right back.

  65. I wish we could have coffee together in real life!!! But I would probably tell you about my baby Sawyer…who is graduating from kindergarten on Friday!!!! And how I’m trying to hold back the tears knowing my baby is growing up way too fast!

  67. I would probably whine incessantly about my complete inability to deal with stress while not being able to run. So it’s probably for the best that we are not having coffee. 🙂

  68. OMG. I am so behind on blog reading. You moved! Whaaa? I’m searching thru your blog trying to find when. Even though I’m not in Austin, I’m in Texas and I always thought someday we’d meet by accident. Now you’re in Oakland?!? WHAT?

    Hang in there. You are a freakin superstar…and wherever you are – you are going to shine, because you are the great Miz. 🙂

  69. I would ask how you get to be a “writer”, get paid (?) for it and not use apostrophes. Being one that teaches language all day (verbal and written) it’s just wrong!

  70. I know. I be no ee cummings either. it(apostrophe)s baffling for sure. but it(apostrophe)s working for me so Im not questioning…

  71. I want to have coffee with you, but since we are on opposite coasts…

    I’d tell you I’m just as nervous about summer. My boys have chosen to not go to camp and my husband will be working at home (his first summer doing that.) And did I mention I hate the Virginia heat, so I’m not exactly keen on taking them places in the summer. Yeah, I’m a much better mom when it’s cold out…

    And I’d mention that I’m frustrated with how my body is performing lately and perhaps with my own lack motivation to do anything at all really.

    But then I’d probably go on about how my kids are turning into awesome people and how wonderful my life is, when I let go of the little stressful details…

    Sorry you asked? ;o)

  76. I would tell you how much I value our friendship. You can’t have too many good girlfriends. I’d tell you that even though I’m changing really slowly, you’ve inspired me to be myself. And not only that. I love tattoos. My daughter lives the fact that we both have adopted daughters that we were meant to be with. And she wants us to get matching tattoos that read “people plan. God laughs”
    Love you girl

  77. we would tell you that we are scared of the future. as we are unsure of what is in the cards for us. we would tell you that we wished we lived closer to our family. we would tell you that we love having coffee talks to talk about life and everything in between 🙂

  78. If we had coffee would we rehash all the BRAVO characters! This would obviously be over a pot of coffee and not a cup. Glad you are in with me on this guilty pleasure and have someone to share with. On that note…it’s time for me to watch RHWOC! XOXO

  79. I love this so much. Makes me long for another coffee date and long walk with you and sharing stories! I miss coffee dates with friends and catching up like this. Not quite sure what happened to them? Easier to email/text/FB/etc? No time?

  81. I’d tell you I know exactly how you feel, as would my teen tell the Tornado too, that transitions are really hard. Your usual support group (aside from Rem Man and Tornado) aren’t around anymore and it’s always dicey having to put yourself out there day after day until you find a kindred spirit again – which, knowing you, won’t take too much longer with your vibrant and compassionate personality. I’ve lived here almost 15 years and it is still a struggle – but maybe the isolation is supposed to teach me something, like focusing on my writing and finding my path. (I do wish whatever plans the universe has for me would be revealed sooner than later.) And don’t forget, you always have a friend in me.

  82. I would say YES PLEASE to an early morning walking book club! Then We would ramble endlessly and I would overshare, but I would also tell you that this summer will be fabulous…. When we moved 7 years ago, it was amidst two major job changes, my dad was deployed (he was almost 60), and our daughter was 4. We spent the summer on bike/burley exploring our new home and doing everything! We now make a “Summer Bucket List” of things we want to do. That way you don’t forget the stuff you never have time for with school hours. (By the way, I found you when I transitioned to a new fitness passion… my hula-hoop. THANK YOU!!!)

    • this is the second time in as many days Ive heard the words SUMMER BUCKET LIST (I never had before!). Methinks the universe is sending a message—IM IN TOO!

  83. I’d tell you thank you for having coffee with me even though I only drink tea 🙂 I’d also tell you that you are awesome and that I am tired but happy. and that Motherhood is so tough but worth it.

  86. WHERE did you get your skull & crossbones coffee mug?! i NEEDS me one! o.0……um, my coffeewheeeee has kicked in. sorry ;p

  88. Could we have our coffee chat while sitting cross-legged outside in the morning sunshine? I would tell you that I’m afraid I’ve figured out how to be happy and love myself too late because I’m 45 and 6 months old, not 30. And that I’m in the “ugly middle” of losing 110 pounds which scares me because I’m not sure that I’m strong enough to get all the way through. Then, once I’d had another gulp of the good stuff – Peet’s? – I’d confess that the depression seems to get more tenacious as I gain strength and she’d weight, and that I wonder if I’ll always be strong enough to climb out the other side. Finally, I’d lean over and whisper the really scary/sad/tough stuff that I would t want anyone else to hear – and that I feel certain you’ll understand and not judge me for.

    So when shall I book my day trip to Oakland Airport? 🙂

  90. Ohh, Tornado, I think (at least I hope) we all feel that way sometimes. I know I feel like I can’t possibly be a great mom and sometimes I feel like I am super mom. Those almost teen years are so hard :/

    If we had coffee I would tell you how happy I am to have a mom friend to hang out with in real life on the regular!

  91. Of course I’d be drinking vanilla diet coke.

    As I spend much of my time alone I often use social media to share stuff I think. But much of it goes undiscussed cos it’s not timely or right to share.

    A couple of days ago I saw a pink balloon floating on the top of the ocean (as I walked out on the pier) I watched it drift along as if it was being pulled by string under the water. It didn’t burst, it just kept floating. I stopped a complete stranger and pointed it out. He looked at me as if I was crazy.

    (There endeth the lesson!)

  92. A strong cup of hot coffee can change your thoughts and pacify your scattered mind. I prefer a strong cup soon after completing my routine work. No wonder, excess of everything is bad so I keep it in a limit and never take too much coffee and stay healthy.

Trackbacks

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This