Travels with Charming.

by

the young and the misfit.

the young and the misfit.

I was a quirky child.

For most of you this will come as no great surprise.

Sure, I tried to mask it cover it with hairspray & sequins:

Look! Im a Foxy Lady Dance! Im not a misfit!

Look! I’m a Foxy Lady Dance! I’m not a misfit!

but down deep inside this was who I *really* was:

Im a band geek

I’m a band geek, Dottie.  A book worm.*

While friends giggled about nights hidden under the covers reading Sweet Valley High or Flowers in the Attic—-I spent my nights with an older man.

A John Steinbeck man.

Grapes of Wrath.  Of Mice and Men.

California dust bowl sort of stuff.

I know.

(Please to reread first sentence of this post and cross reference with I totally devoured Flowers, S.V.H. and Wifey too.  I had time on my hands that way.)

One of my fave Steinbeck books was his lesser-read Travels with Charley where he wrote about his cross-country road trip with his standard poodle.

(yep. I’m sure some of you can see where I’m heading with this)

It was the 1960s and Steinbeck had written fiction for about as long as Ive been a blogger.

His rationale for packing up, leaving his wife and traveling the country with canine?

He was moved by a deep desire to see the country on a *personal* level since he’d made his living writing about it.

Steinbeck longed to reconnect with America for many reasons—–a large one being he felt “pretty much depleted as a novelist.”

These six words have echoed in my misfit-head since I relaunched my blog.

I don’t feel depleted as writer, yet I do share his sentiment of wanting to spend more time among the stuffs & people about which I write.

Steinbeck felt called to rip himself from the typewriter and answer the question:

What are Americans like today?

I feel pulled to yank the social media plug a bit to explore and answer the question:

From fitness to family what things are universally *important* to us & unite rather than divide—no matter how different our exteriors appear.

In the same vein as my If We Had Coffee posts (which kind of went horribly awry but that’s a post for a different day) I’m hitting the Oakland open road with this guy:

goldendoodle puppy

“Wait–I’m doing what?!”

Exploring the Bay.

Chatting up my fellow Oaklandites (shoot. Oaklandians? I need to look into that…).

And bringing back stories.

Lots and lots of stories.

  • Do you feel pulled to LIVE not BLOG ABOUT LIFE to replenish your story fodder?
  • With so many social media platforms do you feel we’re *all* reporting our lives—less than actually LIVING?

 

 

*bonus points if you know the movie from which Ive stolen/mangled this quote.

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Comments

  1. Yes, I thought about this over the weekend as I documented the time I spent with my family with photos on my nice camera, videos and instagram. Part of me wants to put it away but part of me also wants to remember it! I think I generally find a good balance but sometimes I have this antsy feeling like “you need to document this more!” However, there was plenty of lived without a photograph in sight that I remember perfectly clearly. I think I need more of those moments.

  2. That’s a great idea! I would love to do more. Right now I am blogging about things that I am doing so I’m good there. Would I like to do more? Of course. I don’t have the freedoms as most (blog) writers do. Being tied down to a day job certainly factors into that. Some day though. I just hope I won’t be too old when that happens.

  3. Oh yes, most definitely feel the need to unplug and really live. I’ve been blogging far less because of that need. I used to feel guilty. Not so much any longer. I definitely thing with so many ways to stay intensely connected, plugged in, we all forget to step away and live OUR lives not watching everyone else TALK about living THEIRS.

  4. I ended/deleted my blog for some of these very reasons. I want to be out living and moving. Still will be checking in on you and others though! 😉

  6. In a ways I feel my blog has made me live a little bit more, if that makes any sense. I’ve done some things that I probably wouldn’t have otherwise just to write about my experience. It’s taken me out of my comfort zone at times which is a good thing.

    I totally get what you’re saying though. I’ve found that blogging less and sharing less works best for me.

  7. Oooh excellent food for thought this morning: The opportunity cost of blogging/social media engagement. If I unplugged I’d probably seek employment (beyond the coaching I already do) with flexibility around my kids, of course. I do love the dreamy aspect of Steinbeck hitting the road in search of story fodder though.

    • I love this notion too.

      Especially with the puppy-sidekick.

      I can’t wait for your posts!!!

      (what happened with the coffee talk? I enjoyed those, too.)

      • This is a big reason I haven’t yet started a blog.
        It already seems like too much.
        I can’t wait to see where you and Charming go.
        I like what the other commenters said about him being your sidekick!

  8. I find the blogs I enjoy reading are always sharing stories and showing me how we are all alike even though we live in different places and stuff like that.

    Charming is adorable.

    He can be your new blog partner!!!

  11. totally get where you’re coming from – there are many days that i don’t engage in social media and just “live.” sometimes i think, woah i haven’t instagrammed/tweeted all day! and then i’m like uhhh i don’t care lol

  13. YES and YES! I stopped writing a few months ago just so I could LIVE life (that I felt was passing me by too quickly) and ENJOY each moment to the fullest!

    Have fun ‘splorin!

  14. Carla, you know how much I am with you on this – how torn I am about the whole thing.. I have been on social media less – really trying to step away as hard as it is… but I so feel this post from you & love it!!!

  15. I do struggle with being a reporter vs being present. It’s why I take my Sunday Social Media Sabbath and enjoy my time training clients. It lets me just be in the moment. I’ve also vowed not to take my lap top on our trip to Hong Kong next month. I want to see and experience all I can, not worry about blogging about it.

  16. I find it a 2-way street: Sometimes I live life so I can blog, meaning I do things I would usually not do {step out of my comfort zone} knowing it will be something cool to write about. But other times, I want to just live my life and not worry about the word count for the next day.

  17. YES! yes, I do feel this way. I have to remind myself why I blog. I blog for myself, to enjoy the act of writing, reviewing or creating, but if it is sucking the joy out of me, I step back and reconnect with my life. I blog when I can fit it in or when I feel compelled to write, nothing more, nothing less.

  18. It’s interesting how our lives are affected by the books we read as a kid! My first novel was “The Agony and the Ecstasy.”

    We watched “The Grapes of Wrath” in a social studies class in high school! Very powerful!

  19. LOVE LOVE LOVE… for the past few months I have kind of stepped away from blogging. Not because I don’t enjoy it but because it’s just so draining when I felt like I must blog and capture everything I do, so much so that I stopped just enjoying the moments. Sometimes it’s just nice to enjoy the moment without having to worry snapping a picture for a blog post, etc.

  21. This is exactly why I don’t blog every day. And when I do, it’s when the kids are at school or in bed. As much as I wish I could, I don’t even READ blogs every day.

    Have fun exploring with Charming. 🙂

    No one has guessed the movie quote yet? Is it A League of Their Own? I can’t think of another movie with a Dottie….

  22. Love this idea! I think we definitely need to live more. I have always loved my pictures…even before I had a blog. I like to remember everything with photographs! But sometimes I miss things because my eye is behind the camera. I enjoyed Disney World so much more this time because I didn’t feel pressured to take a picture of every single thing…because I did that when we were there this summer.

  23. There is a voice in my head ALL THE TIME that narrates everything I do and see and think to an imaginary audience. I’m not sure if it’s the result of blogging or the reason I blog.

    But even extensive blog breaks don’t get rid of it, so I’ve just decided that my way of experiencing the world is always gonna feature a voiceover. Sigh.

    Love that you’re getting out there and living!

  24. Yes, yes and yes again!

    Although I do feel that, at least in the fitness realm, there just may not be anything original left to write 😉

    All the more reason to live more and blog less…

  26. 1. I LOVE STEINBECK!! Probably the most amazing author of all time (yes I said it)
    and 2. Unplugging is on my new years resolution list. Along with learning that it is okay to slow down and say no sometimes. Its a work in progress.

  30. Yes! I sometimes feel that as I LIVE my life… I need to REPORT my life to those I follow… for the ‘just in case’ i want to blog about it later. OR because all my family lives across the country, I want to SHARE with them our LIFE here in CA… but in reality, if/when I jus tput the phone down… I actually live life. Oh the twisted web I weave <3

  31. Love Pee-Wee. lol Did you know it was ALSO the name of a song by The Get Up Kids?! Which when I first read it was what I thought you were referencing and immediately wanted to throw a fellow punker some “horns” – \m/

  32. I have become very conscious of how much time I spend taking photos of events. I want to capture it and live it. Otherwise well yes some days I think holy cow I don’t want to share a single thing with the world…so I don’t 🙂

  33. My blog has inspired me to go for new goals which I am not sure that I would have reached for otherwise but I do find the need to unplug sometimes and just live in the life that fulfills me without the need to write about every single thing. I love the quiet and wild moments with my kids and just breathing it all in on my long runs and time with my husband . . . so yes, sometimes unplugging is the best thing and it can fill you up with many more amazing things to write about 🙂

  34. This isn’t a reflection about how other blog, it is simply how I personally feel. I don’t often blog or share about my personal, day to day life because then it seems less, well, authentic. I like to do things, be silly, be creative, enjoy my children without having to ask myself if I just did that so that I could get likes on instagram. It is kind of silly, but I guess those are just the thoughts of a naturally private person. 🙂
    So, I guess in answer to your question, I like to blog and I like to live…separate but equal.

  35. It’s a struggle because right now I feel stretched way too thin but I also love the connections that I’ve made with so many through blogging.

  37. Totally a band geek, nerd, bookworm in high school. Pretty much stayed that way as an adult, too 😀

    I think social media had its good and bad points. I think too many people try to use it as therapy. It can be therapeutic, but it is not therapy.

    Life is meant to be offline.

  38. My husband is always telling me to put my iPhone away. One of my goals this year is to be present…i’m giving it my best go by limiting social media to the hours of the day when my daughter is sleeping, or when nothing (absolutely) nothing else is going on. I’m taking the same approach to my blog…I definitely don’t live to blog about it, and I enjoy reading blogs written by bloggers who aren’t living to create content, if that makes sense. I like when the content comes forth naturally. Thanks for sharing!

  39. Did you know Lifetime did a Flowers in the Attic movie over the weekend. May or may not have taped it to watch with some friends who also might have read it as adolescents.

    But anyhow, I do love Steinbeck, too. And I love what you are doing. You are gregarious enough to go out and chat up strangers and turn them into friends. This will lead to some fantastic stories, I’m sure.

    And yes, I completely, 100 percent agree that social media is replacing real living. This mama bear just threw a fit because our school system has started a new policy allowing middle schoolers to bring phones to school and have them out during lunch periods, during recess, and in between classes. SO many reasons I am opposed to this, but chief among them is the fact that these kids will now lose all that interacting and instead stare at screens. Bad for adults, even worse for kids.

    • the school probably bended to a group of parents who don’t think like you…and obviously won. I bet it wasn’t a topic brought up at a teacher’s meeting and all the teachers screamed “let kids have phones”- my question is- why do these “kids” have phones in the first place? And don’t tell me it’s for emergencies. I went to public school and have taught in them for over 40 years and schools did just fine without kids carrying phones. Parents were contacted.

  40. Social media is taking away from real life experiences. At any given moment in almost any situation you can look around and 90% of the people around you have the heads buried in their phone. Thanks for sharing this!

  41. Though I know not of your movie quote as I am not much of a movie watcher, I can certainly relate to your love Steinbeck.
    From one band geek to another, who also did the dancing bit and actually found it to be quite enjoyable, I will say that we as a society need to work on not trying to put people into a box. As you well know, sometimes we just don’t fit that way.
    Do I think social media kills real living? Absolutely. Blogging, because I read them for so long and longed to be part of the actual interaction, is the ONE source of social media that I do participate in. Everything else is just annoying to me. If I am with someone in person and they start in with glancing/typing/talking on their phone, I leave. (True emergencies are rare and don’t involve holding a phone in hand non-stop.) Maybe a bit drastic, but then I’d rather spend time with people who would rather have real life interactions.

  42. I’ve been blogging less and am doing less social media and the balance – if there is such a thing – feels right at the moment.

    Wishing you and Charming lots and lots of great moments out there exploring… 🙂

  43. Blogging has actually helped me with the ‘living’ part of life. I spent so many years stuck in my own head and NOT living my life. I spent hours weaving different stories that were better than the one I was living.

    Blogging about my actual life brings it to the forefront and forces me to examine it and keeps me more grounded in reality instead of escaping to daydreams.

  45. You know I so get this. I so, so do.
    That said, I’d love to have a coffee date with you, over coffee, skype, with Charming and Teddy. We can talk ‘tails’ 😉

  46. Oh yes, absolutely. It’s a constant see-saw and I don’t want to feel like I’m living just to blog. I’ve found myself pulling back more in terms of the constant documentation of my life. I really don’t blog that often or share the day-to-day. For me, it’s pulling back not just from the documentation but the constant blog-social media cycle during the day.

  47. I recently came back from a blogging and blog-reading hiatus which honestly did me wonders. At first it was inadvertent, thanks to mono, but then the more I wasn’t blogging the more I was living!

    I’m excited to be back now and redesign my internet space so it feels a little more “me”

    And I love your new space! I can’t wait to hear your collection of stories from your journey. You inspire me!

  48. The need to unplug strikes a lot! And when it does I usually go for it and disappear for social media. It always feels good!

  49. I always find myself apologizing when I don’t have pictures from a big fancy meal I cooked or the little one’s birthday parties, etc… But I prefer to enjoy them and not worry if it is going to bring me a blog post. My family time is so important and if I forget to take pictures oh well. I know for some it is not a big deal and that’s okay, I don’t think they are bad for that either!

  50. I get this, I so do. I think I do a pretty good job at living while also sharing my life on social media. I think I found the balance.

  51. Wow, when did your blog change. Nice.

    Second, you are such a band geek! Love it!

    Third, I actually have eaten lately without taking a photo. I’ve moved w/out writing it on FB. Had to. Needed to find balance. Not a bad thing. There is plenty of other great stuff to share for the time being.

  52. Miz, he’s absolutely adorable!

    I agree that social media is “the life” for some people who forget to actually live their live because they are so busy posting updates on different sites.

    When I look at myself: I check Facebook two to three times a day. I don’t blog more than 3 days a week, I read other blogs only on weekdays, never in the weekend.
    I have a dog too as you know and only that is a reason I have to go out and live life. Since I discovered the long walks with Bella I have seen so many beautiful places in my country and I’m not done yet, there’s so much to explore.

  53. “Charlie”, I mean Charming, is indeed a prince. He brought great clarity to you, and inspiration to us.
    Isn’t that what a prince is supposed to do?

  54. I love this post (and every book you mentioned). I am always reminding myself to live life and not report it. I hate when I see someone having a beautiful life moment and fumbling to get an image up on instagram instead of enjoying it. I have started to leave my devices home during certain activities so that I can be fully in the moment…then recap it later so that I can look back on it 😉

  55. This is a thread that runs throughout most of my day. Making sure I mind the fine line of balance – doing my best to make sure writing and social media doesn’t crowd out life and vice versa. I would totally have coffee with you and that pooch. 🙂

  56. Adventure…..whether in you local area or traveling the world. Life is too short to be caught up in the stress of a mundane life. Get out and explore the world around you. Bring your friends or family with you. Sold everything last year and headed out traveling the world. It is not for everyone and it takes some guts, but the most freeing thing in the world.

  57. Good for you. I have made efforts to avoid being sucked into the social media world. Still not a twitterer, nor do I Instagram. I enjoy blogging and reading my favorite blogs, but I do it in moderation. Enjoy the real world. It’s all there really is!

  59. That dog is adorable! Doggies make people so approachable…everyone’s going to want to chat! Good strategy! Your reading past speaks to the librarian in me :). I find your question about blogging/posting vs. living very intriguing. I will ponder. (I’m also pondering exercise again…damn your motivational power)

  60. Well as you can see from the # of comments, you’ve hit on something there Carla. For the past I have been dreaming, and inside my head screaming that I want a travel trailer so I can get the heck out of Dodge and see this country. I want to do it so much it’s painful at times. And just the night before last I was thinking how ridiculous it was that I couldn’t cook dinner without running to get the camera. And it’s not just taking the photo. It’s editing it and writing about it and then sharing it. Lord, where is any time left for just enjoying it and living. But I continue to blog on one day at a time.

    Hugs…Tracy @ CPC

  61. Confession, I was a huge Sweet Valley Twins and Sweet Valley High reader. I read all of the books and even had the board game when it came out 🙁

    I have a love hate relationship with blogging. I love social media and the ability to connect with people and build meaningful relationships, but sometimes I get so caught up on what should I write, what can I do better that I feel that I am absolutely focusing my energies on the wrong things vs living. When ever those moments happen, I step away until I am ready to come back. Life is to short to allow social media to consume our ability to live in the moment and enjoy all the beauty that’s out there. to me social media will always be around, but we only live ONE life and I want to live it as best as I can and blog about it whenever I can.

  62. Wish I could say I was mature enough to be reading Steinbeck when I was really reading VC Andrews, but um … no! Alas, eventually I learned to read LIT-erature and now wish it was all I was doing (instead of working, mothering, showering, eating … you know, regular life.) But I totally agree that we need to be living life in order to be writing about it. This is why I haven’t dropped out of life completely to read (and write) because I get this — and remind myself of this on days where it’s hard to get out of bed. 🙂

  63. I know of no child who isn’t “quirky” in some way-if they are true to themselves. They usually are up until middle school-so I am glad I work with preschoolers, especially the ones who have ASD as they definitely march to the beat of something and it’s not even a drum!

  64. I hear ya. I figured once I was home recuperating I would post more, but honestly its just made me even more aware of how I want to enjoy what I am doing instead of trying to capture it. The odd time I get into the shiny world I don’t wanna miss a thing 🙂

  65. I think that too many of us are actually living our lives to Post. This just seems to be the way things are going. However, I preferred the times when we lived our lives to live. And then if something amazing or interesting happened we posted.

    Just my thoughts. 🙂

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the young and the misfit.
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