my life.
A couple weeks ago I read Carla’s post entitled, Starting My Second Life. There was a quote featured from Tom Hiddleston that read,
“We all have two lives. The second life starts when we realize that we only have one.”
I immediately felt like this quote, and Carla’s post, described the way I have been living over the last few months.
For the first time in my life, I am truly awake. Working to build something that is 100% me without fear or hesitation.
I finally realized that freedom begins when you stop hesitating.
I have always been a hesitator. I have trouble making decisions. I think. I worry. I think some more. I tiptoe around.
When I decided I wanted to start writing it was one of those “Aha!” moments you wait for in your life. I have no idea why it took me so long to start – but once I did this incredible sense of urgency overcame me.
I had to start. Right. Now.
I pestered my friend until she helped me set up the WordPress account. And then I pestered her until she set up her server to be my host.
I had to get the blog started. I didn’t even care if anyone read it initially; I just wanted to build up the content. The words poured out of me.
I struggled to learn simple cut- and-paste html and put “follow me” icons on the site.
But I persisted. I am still persisting.
It was like that scene from the movie When Harry Met Sally where Billy Crystal’s character explains, “When you realize who you want to spend the rest of your life with – You want the rest of your life to begin as soon as possible.”
Except I had found my soul mate in writing. And I wasn’t holding back or hesitating.
Living without hesitation is different than my usual sleepwalking through life.
Things that had been elusive before – like permanent weight loss have become easy. I no longer count calories. I am free from that.
I have reorganized my drawers and my son’s clothing. I have painted stripes all through my house so I can choose a new color. In the past, choosing a paint color would have stressed me out.
I have even considered a tattoo. I went so far as to pin images on Pinterest of Hamsa tattoos, the Sacred Ohm and the Eye of Protection.
I am 36 years old and feel like I am finally mature enough for a tattoo.
As in I could actually choose something, an image, to permanently mark my body. (Maybe – like I said I am a hesitator.)
Above all else I have been feeling this aforementioned sense of URGENCY. And I don’t want it to ever stop.
This feeling of urgency has replaced my hesitation. It has replaced my fear.
I feel more connected to my son and my husband. I feel more connected to me. I feel free. This freedom – this urgent, ardent freedom is what makes the journey of life worth the effort.
I’m just gonna say it – Find that that thing that makes you free and do it.
In the words of J. Jackson Brown, Jr, (See, I like quotes too!)
I promise – Freedom begins when you stop hesitating.
Liz is a freelance writer, wife, mother, and self-appointed CEO of her home. Through encouragement and laughter, Liz provides healthy distraction from our crazy, disorganized lives. Because only women can understand what it is like to be a wife, mother, working professional, and lady (on top of chef, maid, and the million hats we wear), trying to make it through the day.
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Coco says
October 2, 2015 at 4:57 amFantastic! I’ve been thinking a lot about my second life lately!
liz says
October 2, 2015 at 7:11 amHi Coco-
What are your plans for your second life?
Thanks for commenting!
Rita says
October 2, 2015 at 4:59 amKudos to you!
Persisting is all of the goal.
That’s all you need.
liz says
October 2, 2015 at 7:12 amRita-
You are so right. I have been thinking a lot lately about persistence.
While I want to build a community – if it never happens, I will still write.
Persistence makes me feel stronger.
Thank you so much for reading!
Amy says
October 2, 2015 at 8:08 amI needed this reminder today. I’m excited about my Second Life, but I can let fear take everything over.
liz says
October 2, 2015 at 10:30 amAmy, I am the same way. This is the first time I really put myself out there.
What are your plans for your second life? What are you most afraid of?
Feel free to email me through my website – I love having this kind of conversation. (privately of course!)
Lia says
October 2, 2015 at 8:35 amI work as a teacher and often want to tell my students they need to wake up before it’s too late. I love in your post how you share you are finally awake.
liz says
October 2, 2015 at 10:33 amLia-
I really meant that. I am glad you were able to take something out of it.
I taught 9th grade briefly. I have had a similar conversation with my students.
Let me know if you ever plan a lesson on “waking up” to one’s true potential!
Catherine says
October 2, 2015 at 9:55 amI love this! And I relate to so much you’ve written.
Ugh. I feel, at 31 (almost 32- don’t remind me), that I STILL don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. I do know, however, that I LOVE to write. Since I began (& then forgot) short stories in grammar school, wrote awful emo poetry in high school, and double-majored in English & philosophy in college (yeah…I use neither of those degrees in my “day job”), I’ve always turned to writing. I blog, but I feel like my blog isn’t 100% ME. It’s certainly much of what I’m passionate about, but I fear letting go of it or changing it because I’ve built something I’m sort of proud of. This post made me realize, though, that in order to be really happy, maybe I need to am race the urgency of change and take a few risks…what have I (or any of us) got to lose?
liz says
October 2, 2015 at 12:50 pmWhat is your blog address? Can I see it? (sorry I’m nosy)
I know I want to write (urgently), but I am not sure what that means career-wise. I still don’t really know what I want to be when I grow up.
You and I are birds of a feather.
Michele @ paleorunningmomma says
October 2, 2015 at 12:08 pmThis definitely resonates with me – I’m not there yet but working up to it. I’ve also been thinking about the tattoo thing – strange!
liz says
October 2, 2015 at 12:52 pmWe have a psychic connection! I sometimes feel that way about Carla, too.
We have never met but when I read her posts it feels like she is reading my mind.
I am an amateur blog stalker.
Greta says
October 2, 2015 at 12:51 pmWriting is my soulmate, too. I didn’t discover her until a few years ago and I am not letting go.
liz says
October 2, 2015 at 5:21 pmGreta-
So we have the same soulmate? What do you write about?
messymimi says
October 3, 2015 at 12:40 amThere is freedom in being old enough to not care what other people think, too.
liz says
October 3, 2015 at 2:00 pmMessymimi – I like your style!
cheryl says
October 4, 2015 at 7:58 amQuestion- why did you have to pester someone to set up a WordPress site and shy on you on someone else’s server? If it’s to be truly your “own” then by all means “own” it…leads to even greater “freedom” or whatever it is you are looking for..
liz says
October 4, 2015 at 1:19 pmHi Cheryl-
I own it now. At the time I didn’t know how to use WordPress at all. So my friend sat with me and set up the whole account. Then she let me use her server for about a month.
Now I use BlueHost – who, as an aside, is awesome!
When I started I really needed some handholding.