If at first you dont succeed—QUIT!

by

(We’re kicking it old school up in herre. Flashing back to some oldtimeMiz.)

Yep.

You read that post title correctly.

Even *after* our lovely ramble about consistency Im gonna urge you to quit.

What started my musing on quitting was when we paused to review our goals & chatted about how it was, perhaps, time to cross a few off our lists.

Goals we’d achieved and goals we’d decided no longer applied.

Whether it was the fact we’d vowed to run our first 5k and realized we (the royal) thoroughly detested running or that we’d promised to start doing weekly Pilates classes and found that it simply was NOT in the budget—–some of our goals were crossed off not met.

And you know what? that’s ok!

It all reminded me of my then boyfriend, Renaissance Man, and my experience with kayaking (*here* is where you may wanna grab a protein-rich snack & a water bottle and settle in for a while…).

We decided to take an outdoorsy vacation and *finally* learn how to kayak. Both of us had longed to learn for a while and one of us (ok, me) thought she would be AMAZING at the sport.

One of us thought this even though she knew her gifts were NOT in the sport realm nor were they in her ability to pick up physical skills quickly.

Regardless, she thought she’d be FANTIZTASTIC and the star of the class (yeah, you see where Im going here…)

We arrived at our beautiful destination so excited to get started. Couldnt wait. Barely slept the night before kind of thing.

And then class began. Day one of a five day course.

Day one of what CLEARLY appeared would be a five day suckfest for both of us. (I love you guys so Im giving you the short version. Dont thank me—email WW magazine and tell em to hire me as a columnist).

Renaissance Man? He didnt excel at the roll.

Me? I didnt excel at any of it and, as is oft my experience (someday Ill tell ya about my golf lessons), because I *appeared* to be athletic my lack of skill irritated our instructor. I think, with hindsight, she thought I was fucking around being silly—-but that’s a post for a different day.

At day’s end (and more than one nearmiss with regards to getting stuck mid-roll and drowning) my amazing thenboyfriend looked at me, laughed, and said:

We outta here?

And Im certain I dont need to tell you guys that I didnt miss a beat in giving him a FO’SHIZZLE.

My point? Not just that we’d wanted a fun vacation and were happy to chalk it up to money lost/lesson learned in order to save our remaining few days.

Life, all of it from the job you work to the relationship youre in to the outdoorsy vay cay you take, should be about making you feel better about YOU.

Setting yourself up for success and, most importantly, being self-aware enough to realize when something truly is a futile effort & knowing when to switch paths (nope. I didnt say quit).

I often hear people say “I hate running but…” or “I do yoga because it’s good for me but I really cant stand…”

My response? QUIT. Sometimes that really is the answer.

It doesnt mean you dont immediately commence trying out something else (although I will admit that the (fingerquote) something else (unFQ) Ren. Man and I tried out was a bed & breakfast)—-but, IMO, doing something youre neither good at (Hello, plummeting selfesteem!) nor enjoy some aspect of is never the answer.

MizFits? Agree? Disagree?

Are you a Suzie StickWithIt or an Alex Abandonship? Hit us up in the comments.

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Comments

  1. …does this apply to paying taxes?

    I jest. Really, the only things on my list right now that I so valiantly wish I could “cross off” are the growing-up-ness that seems to encroach on my life when I really, REALLY wish it wouldn’t.

    PS: Every time I get on the elliptical and think, “today is NOT a fast elliptical day,” I think, verbatim, “lolling cardio!” Which translates to thinking of Miz. 🙂 Feel loved. Haha.

  3. AGREE!

    How many times have we heard, “it seemed like a good idea at the time…”

    That statement applies to much more than situations that go horribly awry.

    The fact of the matter is that you have to find something you enjoy, and as soon as you do, a whole new world opens up for you.

    Ben

  4. its funny you mentioned Yoga cause I have tried it a bunch of times and bought all these Yoga DVDs that I could do at home but I am just not getting there! But I keep attempting….maybe one day?

  5. I tend to stick it out, because I stink at athletic-y stuff.

    Besides, I tend to really really like the feeling of FINALLY getting the hang of something.

    That said, if I can’t find anything redeeming about it (besides the exercise part), and the only other thing (spending time with BK) is quickly giving way to wanting to kill him to be done with it, I’ll call it a day.

  6. I’m with you Miz! Why do something you don’t like doing? If you’re going to do some activity, it might as well be enjoyable. Is it possible you could find that there really is no exercise you like doing? I suppose. I’d question, though, if it’s the exercise or the way to do the exercise. For example, maybe you don’t like running – because you’ve been running by yourself. With someone, or with a group – might change your outlook. So, I think you look at this with a little caution too. Maybe it’s the way your doing something that needs to change as opposed to just what you’re doing. I say, look at the different angles…

  7. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this post! I’m famous for things I(think I) want to do! Only to find out that I like the IDEA of something, NOT the actual DOING of it! 🙂 I consider myself to be quite flighty, but at least I try (some) things.

    At this point in my life my new slogan or tag line is “Love the Life You Live” so for sure if I ain’t lovin it, I won’t be doing it!

    Consider WW Magazine emailed…..

  9. Every time I get on the elliptical and think, “today is NOT a fast elliptical day,” I think, verbatim, “lolling cardio!”

    Here’s to the lolling. fifteen years later it’s still serving me well 🙂

    Nat? right email address…must be the magazine’s server.

    classic, huh?

    and this is all such a fine line. a trytrytry and if you dont succeed AND it isnt merely because there is a fear factor there (Im tenacious. if it had been a fear of pushing myself kinda think you KNOW Id not have quit kayaking) and more a ‘bang head against wall & repeat’ I think life is too short.

    onward!

  10. i liked this post when you first did it
    and i like it again

    imma try to stick with my new year’s goals for now. They include taking care of myself and re-investing myself in WW meetings and regular gym going.

  11. i remember this post but at the time i dont think i understood it like i understand it now 🙂 i think for the most part some goals/objectives are worth sticking to, BUT i have learned that some are just NOT meant for me, not at this point in my life anyway 🙂

    an example is running for me, i like it to do a half hour on the treadmill, but at this time, i just simply dont enjoy staying on a treadmill running for longer than a half hour, if it was outside MAYBE (weather prohibits that for me!), but i was consistently doing it just BECAUSE i said i would train to run some longer distance race (since i’ve never been a runner), when i really didn’t enjoy it 🙂

  12. I completely agree. I stick with the stuff I love and leave the rest. I’ve tried Yoga a few times (and will probably try it again at some point), but I just don’t enjoy it. Running on the other hand, I love and do it all the time (except right now because I’m injured…sniff sniff). Anyway, life is too short to be forcing yourself to do things that just aren’t pleasant.

  13. I soooo agree!!!!!!!!! Set yourself up for success and you WILL stick with it. Why would I want to do something I hate? I think I have stuck with my videos because I truly love working out with others and laughing even if it’s at the same jokes 😉

    By the way, I got the ZONE package yesterday and it rocks! Almost done with the book :)! I can’t believe how much stuff was in the box 😉 Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The ZONE plan makes a lot of sense so I think I’m going to try it out for a bit and see how I feel with it. I like the emphasis on veggies and fruit……….I’ve been slacking there for a while.

  14. thanks for taking the time to say that, Lindsay.

    that the post more resonated with you NOW.

    I decided to do flashbacks this m/t/w as we are all busybusy but the choice on WHICH FLASH took me forever.

    I tried to find ones which took (lessons which took) more than a few encounters for me to finally entirely ‘get.’

  15. Yep, the trick is figuring out what you should quit, and what you should stick with.

    Things at which I originally stunk, but I stuck with and now I excel at: jump rope, front somersaults, handstands, pull-ups, deadlifts.

    Things which I tried for awhile, but soon gave up either because I would always stink, would always hate, or risk of injury: backward somersaults, cartwheels, and running more than 1/4 mile at a time.

  16. I am way too much of an Alex Abandonship- in most aspects of life (from the important to the mundane). I think I’ve been that way since I was a kid. There are few things that I actually stick to and carry on for any decent amount of time. I did ballet/tap/jazz for a couple months when I was 3 or 4. I tried gymnastics for about a minute when I was 7, then went to baton for about a year. Then I started playing the flute, but quickly abandoned that in junior high to go back to gymnastics. When the gymnastics team was cut due to funding, I switched to cheerleading and dance, but actually stuck with that all through high school.

    But it’s not just activities. Sheesh, I rarely finish a whole bottle of lotion (or package of razors, toothpaste, etc) before I find a new kind that I like better, so I switch. I’m a marketers dream, because I’m always getting sucked into trying the “next best thing”- the latest and greatest. And don’t get me started on my collection of workout DVD’s (some that I’ve never even tried).

    It’s actually a miracle that I’ve stuck with running as long as I have (it’s that crazy drug called runner’s high). My husband’s also pretty lucky that I’m still around- ha ha, just kidding. I usually struggle with the consistency, so maybe I should go back and watch/read the “ramble” from August, LOL.

  17. somehow I managed to miss this even though I thought I had never missed a post.
    I am an alexabandonship and always beat myself up over it.

    I hadn’t thought of it through this lens and, now that I have, I realize that it was all in a good way.

    a good for me way and a way that elevated my selfesteem by not forcing myself to fail repeatedly I found something I love (martial arts).

    thank you so much for rerunning this MizFit,

    Angie

  18. I loved working out at the gym, but when staying I became so stressed out about all the driving and driving and driving I was having to do and that made the workouts suck, I knew it was time to quit. My piece of mind and sense of calm was worth more to me than all the running. I have to be more creative now to get in my exercise, but I have more quality time with my boy-o, and he expressed his happiness that we are doing the gym all the time. So – quit for the right reasons.

  19. I missed this one too.
    I LOVE KAYAKING Miz and as much as I would love to say you are missing out (mizzing?) I need you to prod me to do the weight training.

    I have quit that.

  20. The way I see it, the whole point of trying something new is to find out if you like it. If you do, then have at it. If you don’t, then walk away knowing you gave it a go.
    In short, I’ll abandoned anything that does not suit me. Life is too short to spend it doing stuff you hate.

  21. Great post. I used to keep things on my list for YEARS, inducing guilt and feelings of failure. Now, I give it a good try and then it’s in or out, but it’s not going to linger. Sometimes I go back later if I want to and try it again, but at least it’s not there guilting me until I do.

    I was brought up a hyperresponsible person and had a hard time letting go of things — but life is short and choices have to be made! And some things just don’t make the cut now. 😀

    Alexia

  22. that’s the big secret??
    I have to be consistent?

    oh well.

    I was hoping there was a secret syrup I could drink and look lik eyou.

  23. My problems come out very similar to you Miz, that I find out, (a little late sometimes) that I’m just not as good at it as I thought I was, don’t like it at all, haven’t figured out all the nuances yet, etc. I’ve tried the sticktoitatallcost method and found that I used up very valuable time that I could have put elsewhere. I’ve also done the thisisnotforme approach and kicked myself later for not giving the old college try. I again wasted time by putting off something that would benefit me when I didn’t give it the proper chance in the first place.

    Now I find I’m a charter member of the procrastinators club. (I’ll be sending in my dues very soon now) and find that I have wonderful intentions when starting out with new endeavors, maybe just not the mindset that is needed at the time. “Gee, I sure hope this blog stuff takes off.”

  24. oh the irony.

    I came here because I am waiting for my son to get ready so we can go and try indoor rock climbing together for the first time.

    I will let you know how it goes.

  25. oh katie! I could yammer at you forever about my love of climbing and how I am so excited to have the Tornado be old enough to climb using ropes (and not just for play).

    but Im thinking about evans comment and HIS love of the kayak (oh evan, I thought I knew ye) & not fondness of the weights and shall say nothing except:

    I cant wait to hear (weight to hear?) what you think.

    if it’s a suziestickto or an allieabandonship for you.

    and no, I dont think you’ll know today 🙂
    it’s a few times thing in my book.

  26. Have to agree – though I think just trying something and giving it your best effort is success!
    I sound like one of those encourgement posters don’t I?
    hehe

  27. Why do something you don’t like doing?

    Sometimes there’s a thrill at succeeding in something you were’t good at and/or didn’t like. Sometimes there’s the pleasure of personal pain.

  28. GOOD POINT TWIX and why it is definitely not as cut & dried as my blog post title.

    at all.

    it takes a lotta looking inside and being brutally honest with yourself—for me anyway—about *why* you are quitting.

  30. I think it’s all a learning experience! I try and make my goals about what’s being learned rather than what’s being accomplished. Although it does somewhat hinder the checking-off-ness of it all;)

  31. I feel you should try something at least once before you decide if you don’t want to do it! Starting on my journey I have done a lot of things I don’t like to do but I have the mind set to say you know what at least I tried it and now I can say I did it!

    Mara
    http://24stepstogo.blogspot.com/

  32. You have to be tough to be a quitter!
    You have to be able to withstand the jeers & leers of the people unable to say, “I don’t like this. I’m off!”

    I dislike being uncomfortable so unless I’m being paid mucho dinero, I don’t mind walking away…walking, now THAT I like 🙂

    Life’s too short to be good at EVERYthing. Find a few things you’re good at and do those well and have fun.

  34. very true mara. I tried bikram yoga once…didnt love it (for me it was simply too long. even 60 minutes I could do I think but 90 is, for this Miz, far too long to be working out)…yet tried it a few more times to be certain.

    (like pressing on that bruise justtobesure it no longer hurts :))

    and Katschi? I ADORE THIS:

    You have to be tough to be a quitter!

    I need to ponder that for a while, too.
    as my gut reaction is to say YES! TO HAVE THE CHUTZPAH (as my people say) TO STAND UP AND SAY “IM OUT. THIS IS NOT FOR ME” can be more difficult than sticking around & muddling through.

  35. When I was younger, I’d abandon ship BEFORE trying much of anything new. I think I remember my mom’s nagging voice saying “you should…you should…you should…” Punctuating a lot of those shoulds with “this summer, I’ll teach you how to wash your brother’s clothes!” Pretty exciting huh? When I met Chris at the ripe age of 48 I think but maybe 49 years old, after the first husband’s death, I allowed myself to do different new things, very UN-laundry related, more little kid oriented such as bicycling, (had not done it in years) belly dancing, (had NEVER ever done that) and similar weird things that I never thought I would catch myself doing. So I guess I am prone to not setting myself up for a self-esteem attack by doing new wondrous things outside of myself as much as I am a self-esteem attacker from within. For instance, I will go kayaking this year but I will only go for the day. No 5 day torture test for me. And if I have to learn how to roll, I will push Chris out of the kayak if necessary, to survive.

    I have to have courage to start something new first. Quitting is half the battle. Staying the course is easy as long as I love what i’m doing.

  36. HAHA love your story Miz– I have a similar story with Scuba Diving certification in Hawaii! Lesson learned: not all those who deem themselves adventurous can do EVERYTHING ~and~ don’t dive into the deep end…pun intended 🙂

    Love it!Quit!

  37. I didn’t meet every challenge that I set out for myself, but I figure if you raise the bar excessively high you’re bound to come close and surpass your expectations. I always push myslef “too hard” according to others, but the way I look at it is this: If I strive for the best I’m bound to come close. This I’m happy with.

    I rocked 2008, and I’m going to shake 2009!

    Happy Belated Hanukkah Miz =)

  39. perfect post for the year’s end.
    today I am writing my goals for 2009 and shall keep this in mind.

    melanie

  40. Interesting. I think in some things I quit to soon, in others to late. Finally leaving my first marriage taught me a lot about quiting things before they become soul-killing torture though. I am more willing to walk away from something I hate now then I was several years ago. It is a relief.
    🙂

  41. Yes, I agree with Melanie. That post was perfect end of year.
    Now I think you should go do my brother’s laundry.
    I find myself on vacay reading your missives first thing each morn to remind myself where I am going on that particular day.
    Unfortunately, I’m going to the Lymphedema therapist so she can torment me. FUN!

  42. Agreed! If you’re not happy where you are, change the situation! That really is a great piece of advice for anyone.

    I’ll quit something if I can’t stand it and decide that I won’t be doing it anymore in the future. Alas, grad school, as much as it sucks, is something I have to finish to meet my career goal. Too bad it couldn’t be more fun.

  43. Completely agree! That’s why its so much fun to try out new things, because then we figure out what does and doesn’t work for us.

    And then we can also learn that in some ways we do like the thiings we don’t like. Such as me with running- hate it when I do it regularly or when I was training to run the half marathon, but I really like it if I do it on a random whim once a month/couple of months.

    It just won’t be worth it if we force ourselves to do things we don’t enjoy! Life is all about the play and enjoyment, right? 🙂

  44. I tend to be a quitter far too often.

    I even quit things I like, then when I inevitably come back to it, I wonder “WHY did I ever quit?”

    But, I don’t stick with things I don’t like, so I guess that’s my silver lining.

  45. Thanks for the reminder post, Miz.
    Must find something I enjoy…… there are so many things I have quit because they were just not doing it for me.

    Of course, there are other things I HAVE to do because I’m a grown-up. Like go outside in the freezing cold and feed the cows. Which is what I need to do really soon…..

    (Procrastination, thy name is Bag Lady!)

  46. So much of lifes learning culminates in the ability to know when enough is enough. We somehow have a mind set that if we dont finish what we start that we lack character. Not so.

    We need to give ourselves a pat on the back for trying, realize its not for us, and move on…guilt free! Loved this post dear friend.

  47. I AM A CHILD.

    this is all making me think of the line:

    why caiiint I quit you?

    from the piece of cinematic wonderment (which I never actually saw) Brokeback Mountain.

    anyone else?

  48. I am a stick with it person.

    always.

    I am rethinking this for 2009 as I fear it has made me resentful of things I should not be.

  49. WORD!

    totally true…. just like eating liver…its good for you right? But I gag when I eat it and hate every bite…. so find something that you can stomach thats ALSO good for you. 🙂

    Cheers and thanks again for a great, yet simple reminder.

  51. I AGREE with you. When you try something you are just not cut out to do, don’t do it.

    So glad you and Ren. Man came to that conclusion at the same time. It would have been way worse if he had liked it and done well at it and you were unhappy/unable. You two must “fit” together very well. You are truly blessed.

    Now, as to me, I’ve quit beating myself up about getting out and walking alone. It just makes me too unhappy to do it alone. That’s not to say that I don’t take advantage of walking or hiking in some cases whenever I have company and they want to get out in the woods. I love it, but just not alone. Sooooo, I just don’t do it alone. I guess you could say I sorta quit.

    I’ve been contemplating getting a treadmill so that I can use it in front of the TV for company, but I’m afraid that I won’t like that either and will have spent all that money on something that I will quit using. And then there’s the fact that I really don’t have a separate room to dedicate to exercise and the treadmill would have to set out in my living room ALL the time. There isn’t an exercise facility in my area within an hours drive so I can’t go somewhere and try it out for a while. What’s a person to do? (That’s not a question for you to feel like you have to answer, that’s just me contemplating again :o)

  52. I used to try EVERYTHING. By 21 I had moved by myself from my home in Denver to LA, then to NYC, then to FL. I bought a home, got married, got divorced, can’t sell the home, now I’m back in Denver. FULL CIRCLE.

    I was burned by some bad decisions, so now I find myself afraid to try new things AT ALL. I am HUGE on routines and what I know I can expect from the day, week, month etc.

    I think this just inspired me to make a new resolution for 2009… Get back to the old free spirit me and eliminate fear of messing up. It’s OK to throw in the towel if I want to. Thanks MizFit for pointing that out… Life just may be more fulfiling when I think back and laugh at the silly things I tried during the year.

  53. I guess it depends. For example freshman year in college I had a roommate who tried to committ suicide and I had a really hard time making friends. I was determined to make it work (of course I did have a backup plan to tranfer after the first year if things didn’t improve). I did make it work. But, there have been many times where I have just given myself permission to stop said activity. So, I guess I’m a situation dependent SuzieStickWithIt.

  54. YES! Or at least, with exercise. You gotta find something you like, and if there’s NO SIGN you’re going to like doing something, you see virtually no benefits in continuing- you’re never going to stick with it! Find something you love to do, and start that love affair with it.

    Much more beneficial to everyone than most other types of love affairs. Just sayin’.

  56. you guys always get me thinking and, in this moment, it’s you deborah and your remark about me and ren man.

    It was fortuituous (sp? typing with the thumbs) that we both didn’t like/suckethed at kayaking, but our relationship is such that it almost wouldn’t have mattered.

    I find joy in HIS success as much as in my own and would have happily giggled my way thru the week (ok, kinda f*cked around while doing so but I’m a child that way) if HE was having the time of his life and vice versa.

    I think a lot of it for us is the fact we got married lateish in life.

    We were at the point where it took finding someone WORTH GIVING UP BEING SOLO FOR in order to even consider marriage.

    We’d already done the long process of getting comfy in our own skins before marrying.

    And.

    Ramblecomplete.

  57. I, too, have this insane fantasy that I would not only LOVE kayaking, but would be fantastic at it. Which is weird, because other than running, I’m not really good at anything sports related. (And I’m not sure I’m GOOD at running, but I keep doing it, so that’s something.)

    It is hard to quit something, even when you know you should, but if I stick with something that I hate, it makes me less likely to find something I love, right? I think that this might be one of the few areas in my life where I actually have good balance.

  58. That reminds me of our pre-wedding dancing lessons! We never even completed the course… I was simply too fat and unfit and Craig just sucked! In fact, we quit the whole wedding and eloped!

    You’re so right… when something is not working for you, you have to stop and find a better way!

  59. I had a similar experience with sailing – not for the exercise (cuz I was thin then) but everyone said it was SO great. However, after tipping my boat over during my lesson (I’m sure there’s some very specific sailing term here for “tipping over” that I never stuck around long enough to learn) and landing in the Mystic (CT) River in the middle of chilly April, I concluded that this particular suckfest was over. My interpretation was that my sailing friends needed their heads examined. I’ll stick to land-based activities from now on, thank you all very much.

    Good advice and a thoughtful reminder tho for those of us entrenched in the battle of the bulge. We don’t have to fight every fight – but we still want to win our particular war.

  60. I don’t think I have been put into that situation yet or could it be that I don’t try enough new stuff? hmmm
    I agree that SOMETIMES you should just quit especially if it is no fun, unless it something you should really be doing. In that case suck it up buddy! haha

  62. Hmmm,what this made me think of most was that sometimes I am not adventurous enough. I sometimes don’t start or try something because then I would have to quit, or worse, be considered a failure. And I don’t like failing. I am a good girl who always tries to do things right (reverting to grade school, oh who am I kidding, I was still doing this in high school…oh shut up sis, I KNOW I am still like that.)

    So I think I shall think of some things for the new year that I will try even though I know I will fail (and maybe one time I will be surprised and will succeed…)

  63. I’ve been giving this some thought, too. I definitely agree with you, but I’m struggling with what to do with my 101 Things list. On one hand I really want to complete it (especially since I’m so far through it already), but a lot of the stuff that remains is stuff I don’t really care to do. What to do, what to do? 🙂

  64. It’s so true. QUIT doing things you don’t really want to do (or don’t want to get done–there IS a difference).

    My New Year’s project is going to be to go over my list of 101 goals and revise it. Some of the things on it I don’t want to do any more, and some things have arisen that I really want to do a lot more than current goals.

    And I may spend New Year’s Eve cleaning out a closet. I love getting something big accomplished in the waning hours of the year.

  65. I agree. If you don’t like it or hate it–quit. Move on and find something you enjoy. When it comes to exercise, I know I won’t stick with anything I dread doing or find so boring I want to beat my head against the wall.

    My favored form of exercise is walking for the pleasure of it, taking in the beauty surrounding me. Walking laps on a track? Nope A treadmill? nope An elliptical? Nope Riding a recumbent bike ? Nope.

    My diet/exercise has to fit ‘me’ and my lifestyle or else it ‘ain’t gonna work’ for me.

  66. Hmmm…well anything worth doing I have found isn’t always easy, but one does have to have some vein of enjoyment in order to pump the necessary vitamins into the activity. Thus, I’m generally a sticker…I unfortunately have found that I also have to be the best at whatever it is that I’m doing…or in better terms…the best ME at whatever it is. I like meeting a challenge head on and accomplishing MY goals…now of course this is after I have established that this is actually an activity that I enjoy…if I don’t, I don’t bother…I generally know when to say when.

  67. I try to be a little Suzie and a bit of Alex. I really don’t like to give up, but sometimes it’s just not in the cards. Like you said one day at a time, I’ll either get there or I won’t, as long as I can except the fact that I’m not perfect and will never be. All we can do is our best.

  68. I think this is a great post. I truly believe in life, everything you do should be about your happiness and healthiness And if anything isnt congruent with that (job, relationship, whatever) then you need to tweak.

    And in another way this post speaks to a problem of mine that has been very signifcant for me, which is that when I start a plan to do something (work out, go to meetings, eat right, etc) that if I don’t want to, or can’t, or simply are not, accomplishing my goal, I give up and do nothing. Instead the middle ground is the correct option: switching paths. Its okay to abandon an 1 hr workout 6 days a week or a 1200 calorie diet as long as I dont give up completely, but instead find a middle groud that still has me heading in the right direction (happiness and healthiness.

  69. Zandria? I love how the commenter below answered your musings.

    for me I think the 101 things would be something Id be hard pressed to change or let go of.

    that said Im imagining it as all short term stuff—-like try belly dancing NOT sign up for a 12 week belly dancing course and then become certified to be an instructor (yes, Im being hyperbolic but you get the idea).

    I imagine it like my bucket list.
    stuff I wanna try.
    if even only once.

  70. What a great post! I’m like Stages of Change in that I often totally throw away something because I can’t/won’t complete it. And, that’s in direct conflict with how it was for me as a kid. My mother wouldn’t let me QUIT anything. And now I quit most things (but feel inordinately guilty). Coincidence?? I love how you make me think, Miz!!

  71. Most Revered Miz,
    I’ve posted a variation of this dilemna on another website, but I’d love to hear your input. I’m only slightly underweight, but I know I’d look a bit better (aka not like a boy!) if I were filled out a lil here and there so I’m now in the mindset that I’d like to gain maybe 5-8 pounds. I want to do this slowly and healthily but where I’m running into problems is that I’ve been advised to up my exercise (not enough to offset the extra calories,but just additional) so that I am gaining/maintaining my lean muscle mass, which obv is a goal I’d like to see too…the problem is that I already exercise at least two hours a day. I don’t know how I’m supposed to get more in!?! I’m 5’4 and about 102 pounds if that helps.

  72. yeah – Yogalates is off my planet. Don’t like it. Don’t care that I bought 2 DVDs and a book. Don’t wanna do it. You can’t make me!

    Thanks for the kudos and shower of confetti for ditching the scale. Really feels like a good move for me. Fit and Healthy does not necessarily equate to a specific number on the @#)(*#)@$(*@#)$* random number generator.

  73. I ride a fine line with the stick-it-out vs. quit thing in my work outs. There’s a great little(tiny), perky, funny, sadist of a trainer at my Y who gives me a new work out when I ask. I need her to push me and boy, does she. However, there’s usually one or two exercises I just cannot do–really– I mean there’s like, FAT in the way! She looks great doing it, but I look like a beached whale floundering around.

    So it takes me a while to figure out if this is an exercise I just need to work at and can improve, or is something I’m better off finding an alternate exercise. Because if I feel too bad about my work out chances are, I won’t do it.

    But if it’s not challenging, it’s not effective either.

    I’m sure I could apply your post more deeply, but today, I’m all about repressing feelings, so I’m being shallow. 🙂

  74. I agree with you, to a point. I think that some activities do take some commitment and practice before they start to be enjoyable or even do-able. Anyone who has ever gone from being an inactive couch-potato to exercising several times a week can attest to the importance of sticking with it. BUT… I think you’re completely right that sometimes certain activities are just not for you and you’re better off recognizing that and moving onto other things instead of wasting your time with something that doesn’t really fit.

    I felt that way about Yoga — it’s definitely a good thing to do health-wise, but I just think it’s unpleasant and I don’t care for it no matter how much I tried to like it, so I’m done trying it, at least for a while. Tastes do change, so maybe in a few years, if I’m unable to do the higher impact exercises and free weight training that I like, I might revisit Yoga, but for right now, I’m good with not practicing it.

  75. For you it was Kayaking, for me it is skiing. Love the idea, but cannot seem to get over the fact that I stink at it, that I simply dislike freezing out in the cold.

    When it comes to running, I used to plod away even though I didn’t enjoy it. But it really changed for me when I started using audio-guided workouts. I really, really love running now.

    One thign I have learned from experience, exercise is enjoyable to me only when I have a reasonably elevated heart rate. Only running with Cardiocoach taught me that. Now, I do occasionally enjoy other forms of cardio, but I have to remember to keep my HR elevated.

  76. PS Forgot to add what my 9-year old said yesterday.
    Santa got us a Wii for XMAS and I tend to call all the games Wii-FIT. I love the Wii even though I totally suck at it. Just jumping and elevating my HR is all I need. Anways, my other obsession is your site. I was looking at it and he asked me about it. I said, ‘I am reading Mizfit”. He asked, ‘Why is she called that? Does she own a Wii Fit?”

    PS I don’t have Wii Fit, but Active Outdoor Challenge is sooo fun. Heck, I enjoy Wii sports too even though I am losing in that too. The little one said, ‘Mom, you don’t have to serve like a real person”. I was serving like I was playing a real match.

  77. I like this post and the comments. Important things (whether pleasant or not), I stick with; things I view as “optional” tended to slide off the plate. I haven’t always done a good job of the “important” vs. “optional,” though. That’s why “clean eating” and “exercise” used to go into the “optional” pile. The idea of “tweaking” and “changing path” that people are mentioning make a lot of sense to me now.

    I also find it easy to try things that are free/cheap and harder to commit to trying things that take a large time/money investment. The gym is a good example; I finally decided to go for it. I think the clincher for me was realizing that if I even use it ONLY to take one class/week, it’s still a great deal. Must’ve been reading this article that helped me find the middle path thinking…I’d been worried that it wouldn’t be worth it if I didn’t use it every day, and I didn’t want to cut my outdoor running. It’ll help to have another option for mixing it up, too, when the plateau happens.

  78. Yes, sometimes you have to just cut your loses and bail out especially if you’ve given your best effort. This is a perfect post for the new year. We should examine the past year and see whether we should hold or fold on some of the things that we’ve got going on.

  79. Also not a big fan of running. I may change my 5k goal and just go rock climbing instead. But that would mean I quit….no..and yes. That means I’m doing whats best for me and something that will motivate me and keep me focused on staying healthy and having fun. Why do it, if you don’t like it. Why eat it, if it doesn’t taste good, and why write it, if you don’t mean it =)

    So for now I quit =) OK, not sure what, but I’m sure there’s something that I’m doing that’s not working or not useful. Why waist time on something if it’s not truly important or enjoyable.

  82. A long time ago, I worked for a cranky old boss who would always ask, “Does it make sense?” whenever someone suggested a new way of doing something. It was really irritating at times, but I’ve come to see the wisdom in asking that question. If something makes sense for me, I do it. If I’m doing something I don’t like (e.g., running) and I can get my exercise some other way (e.g., step class), then it doesn’t make sense for me to push myself to run. For me, the trick is learning to differentiate between the “I don’t like this” feeling I get when I’m doing something I don’t like and the “I don’t like this” feeling I get when I’m simply stepping outside of my comfort zone. Sometimes, they feel the same, so I try not to give up too soon.

  83. I completely agree. If you hate running or the treadmill, then there are about 1,000 different things to choose from. That one really stymies me when someone brings it up as an excuse as to why they can’t commit to regular exercise. I think I confuse them back when I say, ‘then don’t run or don’t treadmill.’ I don’t run and I don’t treadmill. I was able to get more fit, healthier and shed somewhere around 90 lbs. Maybe more, maybe less. I dunno as I liberated myself from the scale and gave it away.

  84. Great post…really got me thinking. I think I’m more of a Suzie. I’ll keep doing something because I know it’s good for me even if I don’t enjoy it. For instance, I keep meeting up a with a friend to run around her neighborhood even though I don’t like running on roads. I never look forward to it, and my knees never feel good afterwards. I’m more of a trail girl. Next time we make plans, I’m suggesting either trails or just meeting up for coffee after running separately. Why I don’t think of these things on my own, I’ll never know. Thanks Mizfit!

  85. I agree to a certain extent. I will say that when I started running in March of 2007, I didn’t like it. I really wanted to like it because my husband loves it and I wanted to be able to run with him. However, I stuck with it. I completed a 5K, then a 10K, then a half marathon. Then started coaching a women’s running group and ran a lot more races. And now, I really really truly ENJOY it!!! It took more than a year to get to this place, probably more like a year and a half, but I am here and very grateful that I didn’t walk away.
    Bottom line, don’t give up too soon……you never know what you might miss/walk away from………

  86. Bottom line, don’t give up too soon……you never know what you might miss/walk away from………
    —-
    agreed KK and well said.

  87. well, yes and no… you can’t quit at everything, but finding what you love is key. you need to WANT to do it, and ENJOY it. most days 🙂

  89. Hear! hear! I think you gave it a good shot, saw it wasn’t for you, and decided to re-prioritize…I don’t think that’s quitting.

    When you’re stuck in the mud, you don’t look around and say, “hey…this is really nice mud, I’ll stay here.” You move, right? Is that quitting the mud, or re-thinking that where you are isn’t the right spot?

  90. People ask why I run. I answer “because I’m not coordinated/too clumsy to do anything else” and that is the truth. I do love to run. I do love to try new things but that doesn’t always mesh with what I CAN do successfully. I’m OK with that. So Things like quiting smoking or drinking soda are great new years resolutions, so is quiting that thing that doesn’t bring you joy or satisfaction. No point in being miserable and bringing everybody else down right?

  91. I don’t especially enjoy body sculpt (low weight class), nor yoga, nor anything else non-cardio that makes me use/build muscles, but I do it anyway, because I’d like to have strength and flexibility. I do enjoy hiking and kickboxing and step class and cycling, so that’s no problem. Sometimes I’d also like to eat less healthy food, and drink more, but I don’t do that either, because I don’t want to be a fat alcoholic.

  93. I think I’m a Suzie for the most part. I have to try things for quite some time before I finally give up. (Hence the reason my shortest relationship was 3 months, LOL.)

  94. I like your message a lot, although it’s always hard for me to give up on something I know is good for me. Funny enough, I don’t *love* spinning or hot yoga, but I do it anyway “because I know it’s good for me” and sometimes, depending on my mood, I really do enjoy it. Maybe we can train our brains to love something after doing it long enough? I dunno… I do agree that sometimes quitting is the answer. Why torture yourself?

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