(Francis may view my tattoos as mutilation.)
Today’s thoughts mesh perfectly with my post about women and OLD-talk.
This is not the post Id planned to share.
Slotted to share was a blog where I waxed eloquently about Halloween, my love of skulls, and why I fret *not* about candy-consumption or label-reading.
That was the plan.
Until I stumbled upon a New York Times article & could not get it out of my head.
Raising Arizona, Fargo, Almost Famous, Wonder Boys, Madeline—she represented to me a woman who BUCKED Hollywood trends, didn’t resemble the stereotypical actress and was happily confident about it all.
She reinforced for me we don’t need to fit a mold to be unstoppable.
Me? Francis? I thought we had the B-word in common.
For a while my admiration was a result of assumptions about her (she’s talented. she’s confident. she’s not changing who she is for fame and fortune!) and then, about 5 years ago, I heard an interview with Francis that changed my life-perspective.
She shared (paraphrasing) how for her aging meant the young boys no longer looked at her, but it also meant she no longer saw herself through their eyes.
She no longer saw herself through their eyes.
I’d never heard anything like that before.
I didn’t fear aging yet the way she captured it (it’s freeing! I ONLY see myself through my own eyes!) framed the experience in a way I’d been unable to articulate.
Aging was about growing comfy on one’s own skin. So comfy who cares what others think or do!
(She exemplified BOLD to me. Confident not judgmental.)
It was for these reasons I eagerly clicked to an article about her with the title: A Star Who Has No Time for Vanity.
“We are so alike!” I thought as I began to read. “I have no time for vanity either. I’m too busy embracing LIFE!”
And then I came to the snippet below where McDormand talks about the abundance of plastic surgery in society (emphasis on the word mutated mine not the NYT’s):
“I have not —->mutated<—- myself in any way,” she said. “Joel and I have this conversation a lot. He literally has to stop me physically from saying something to people — to friends who’ve had work. I’m so full of fear and rage about what they’ve done.”
And I was stunned.
Mutated? Fear? Rage?
Gone, for me, was the confident “I make the choices which work for me. You make those which work for you!“ woman I’d admired replaced by, to my mind, a most judgmental figure.
While I remain inspired by her refusal to alter how she looks and embrace aging—-I also possess absolutely no judgement for those who choose a different path.
Mutated? Fear? Rage?
I believe when we are completely comfortable with our choices—no matter the arena—we don’t care what others do as long as they, too, are comfortable with their choices.
I understand she may be attempting to “buck the trend” of plastic surgery in Hollywood, but why can she not do what works for her, lead by example and not denigrate others in the process?
I “get” it on an intellectual and feminist level.
There is a vast amount of pressure on women (all women and not just in Hollywood) to grow chronologically older yet “never age a day.”
Yet I also believe we can walk our own *different* path without needing to denigrate others’ choices.
- Can we be “true to ourself“ (as the title indicates) if it requires we put down others to get there?
- Am *I* being judgmental? Is F.McD simply brazen with her opinion and is this her right?