Life is a special occasion.

by

Ive recently discovered I’m kind of a hoarder.

Not so much of things purchased–but of all things any things which have absolutely *anything* to do with the Child.

Things we bought while living together in Guatemala.

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belt, bag, booties, hat = hoarded.

Things she’s made for me and subsequently wanted to use/play with herself:

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 no. you may NOT borrow my cup.

I’m uncertain when this all started (prior to the ‘mala I really was a “hold on loosely, but don’t let go” woman), yet I’ve noticed it bleed into all areas of my life.

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I love these! I won’t wear these ’til there’s an “occasion.”

Shoes, jewelry, outfits, *stuff* I adore and still shove into a box or closet because I love them so much I want to save them for an occasion.

It’s a life-approach which makes sense in my head, but indeed sounds crazypants (technical term) when typed out on a screen.

I spend so much time obsessing over whether something can be replaced I never pause to enjoy the “thing” at all.

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“special occasion” necklace created from a note she wrote me

This holding on too tightly came to a proverbial head when I stumbled upon a fabric bag while searching for something else.

Inside the bag, stuffed at some point by saver-me, was a mass of tangled bracelets.

Woven bracelets of different colors, thickness and materials I only vaguely remembered buying at a market in Central America.

Bracelets I’d tucked away and, for lack of a better word, hoarded.

The Child immediately asked if she could wear them.

I, almost as immediately, responded NO.

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 what cRaZy person would say NO to this?

Thankfully, almost as soon as I instinctively told her NO, I realized the error of my ways.

The error of my current lifestyle.

If I was honest with myself I had absolutely no idea why I’d saved the bracelets and never worn them.

I had a hazy memory of picking them out with her (for her? I can’t recall.), but felt absolutely no pang of sentimental attachment when they tumbled from the bag.

I retracted my NO!, insisted the Child wear the bracelets and keep them, and I stepped back and examined my life.

I saw how I, in the same way friends have waited to “live” until after they’ve lost weight or are “skinny,” too, had been waiting.

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this is LIFE. LIFE is an occasion.

And at almost 46 I should know better.

And, as a parent, I do know better and am aware we need to practice what we long to preach.

And a new attitude was born.

An approach to life which has become a call and response for the child and me.

On practically a daily basis (a reminder of how *often* we’ve opportunities to celebrate life & how frequently I’d missed them due to “saving.”).

Shall we save _____ for a special occasion?

(NO!)

Why??

(Because LIFE is a special occasion!)

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dress purchased for a special occasion. school is a special occasion!

Life is a special occasion, indeed.

I’m finished waiting, holding on too tightly and saving stuffs for someday special.

Life is a special occasion.

Which all leads me to my final, non-rhetorical questions:

  • Are you saving, holding on and waiting? What are you waiting for?

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Comments

  2. UGH.
    I do this with the twins all the time and then when I go to let them use something they’ve outgrown it.

    • And I can see how easily it would be to pass this along to your child, to.
      I wait and am waiting to live I think until I finish my weight loss.
      You have me thinking too hard for a morning LOL

  4. UUUHHHH I am so oh so guilty of this! With so many things in my life – and I know I got it from watching my mom do it growing up! We both have focused on improving – ex, using the fine china for dinners just whenever 🙂 it is fun, makes dinner enjoyable, and you don’t need a huge family dinner/Easter to do so – it is great when we do our family Sunday dinners just to know she thought about it and didn’t care if they got broken, because the wear and tear on special items are great memories too!

    • OH I do this all the time and then the “stuff” never seems as special when I go back to it either.
      I love you let your girl use the special things now and not wait.

  6. LOVE LOVE LOVE! YESSSS! So many people do this, and I can be guilty of it too, but you are so right, what are we waiting for!? This is IT! We have to make the most of every day. I find sometimes that I am enjoying it, but it is often still going by too fast, and I dont like that part! Thank you for the reminder today, yours and the tornados relationship is one of my favorite in the world!

  8. The stupidst thing I realized I was hoarding? Fancy sets of sticky notes snagged at conferences, because some day a special project would come along and they would be the key? Now I use those fluorescent rainbow notes to brighten any day.

  9. I used to guilty of this too. I’ve been trying really hard lately to declutter and for me part of decluttering is using the things we own. I was particularly bad about kid toys, saving them for my “grandkids”. Yeah, my boys are 9 and 13 and we own a small house…

    Use it. Enjoy it. There’s little guarantee that anyone else will appreciate it as much as you did.

  11. I had this journal my dad gave me when I was little. And it was so beautiful I swore I would only write in it when I had something perfect to write. So I tucked it in my closet. My parents died unexpectedly when I was young (14, killed in a drunk driver accident) Years later, I found that journal.,,still blank. Anytime I catch myself doing this (saving things), I try to stop. I had even organized my closet this way (work clothes, weekend clothes)…I changed this. Now clothes is my color. Because you are right, life is an occasion. Love this.

  12. I love this!!! I have actually come to the same conclusion. Both of my daughters are constantly going through my jewelry and at first I was hesitant at letting them play with it but I came to realize that if I wasn’t wearing it (most of the time I am not) then they should be!

  14. I’ve learned to shed what I don’t need. Occasionally I do love to save certain things for when I can savor them. Like a really good tea. I don’t want to drink it when I am too rushed to enjoy it. Maybe I should slow down a little more and more often. 🙂

  15. Such a great post! If I wake up in the morning, it’s already been a great day! 🙂 My parents did a lot of saving things for “special occasions,” so I tend to do the opposite.

  17. I do this in a way. I don’t save for special occasions, but I do want to keep things “safe” to remind us of an adventure we took or a place we visited…preserve the memories by no touching the memories? Doesn’t really make sense now 🙂

  19. That was a nice post really life is an occasion worth not missing out and this goes the same for my children and me as l try to make sure they enjoy every moment of it. Thank you very much for the post…

  20. I definitely save special reminders ! It’s my history. I’ve heard that women have more flow to their history while men remember it more in chunks.

    My mom saved plenty of things from my growing up. Going through those items at times when I visited was always a special scavenger hunt 🙂

  26. I have discovered I am kind of a hoarder too. Not as bad as the ones from the TV show, but don’t look in my cupboards or closets, please! A few years ago, hubs got me a “hope chest” for my birthday. Now we’d already been married 40 years so I didn’t put any linens in my hope chest. Instead I call it a treasure chest, and stash all the pretties that the four grandkids make me in there, with the idea that someday I will get everything put into scrapbooks. As the “treasure chest” is getting quite full, I suppose I better get busy on those scrapbooks. One of these days…..
    Love your idea that everyday of life is a special occasion. EVERY. SINGLE.DAY. This notion has come to me even more poignantly as my husband is fighting Stage 4 cancer. (cancer with a small c, as I try to believe he is stronger than it.)

  27. This is someting I USED to do too. For me it stopped when we sold our house, fully furnished and turnkey ready to live in… giving away lots of things to friends, and keeping only a few precious keepsakes …. I realized then that many of the things we were leaving behind had never been USED. New dishes still in boxes, new wine glasses, new linens…so I have stopped doing that. Now my home/life/closets contain only things I LOVE and USE on a daily basis. I have realized that life is too short REALLY to save for special occasions.

    Good for you!

  28. Way way back in the day (the days of college to be exact), my roommate bought a very nice bottle of expensive lotion for me for Christmas one year. To me, it was to be saved for a “special occasion” because expensive = too good for everyday living. But to my roommate, the fact that I had not used it meant that I was ungrateful and didn’t like it. As soon as she pointed this out to me, I immediately started using it as much as I possibly could. I felt awful that she thought I didn’t like it…and then I started questioning the sanity of “saving things for a special occasion”. From that point on my philosophy has been expensive = use it as often as possible!! Because like you said, life is a special occasion. 🙂

  30. I catch myself doing this sometimes. And when I suddenly become aware of it, I am reminded of my grandmother. She saved EVERYTHING “for good” – meaning a special occasion. We would give her things in hopes she would love them and enjoy them. Unfortunately, she couldn’t do both of those things. If she loved it, she inevitably tucked it away “for good” and it never saw the light of day again. It was something of a family joke. When we moved her into a nursing home (Alzheimer’s), we found years worth of items tucked away in drawers and boxes, wrapped carefully in tissue paper and preserved for some special occasion that never arrived. She lived through the Depression and much harder times than I’ll likely ever know so I sort of understand – but I strive not to do that. Sometimes delayed pleasure is lost instead of anticipated.

  31. I am not too much of a hoarder like that as I tend to purchase things that are functional that I love and so I use them. I have a few family things like my great grandmothers dishes that I use more for special occasions just because I don’t want to break them (and honestly they require handwashing and I like to use the dishwasher).

    I also like to think that something does me no good if I don’t enjoy the item and it only takes up space – sentimental or not. That is one reason I am thinking of donating my wedding dress since it was really my husband that made the day and not the dress itself – and I will still have him 😀

  34. The older I become the more I realize that every day I get with my family is special indeed.
    I am not a good “waiter” so no I am not waiting for anything except maybe some $ and retirement so I am able to do the things I want to do before I die. I pack in my adventures/travel/races when I can. Life is WAY to short when suddenly you wake up and 3/4s of it is gone (yes, WHOOSH!) Plans are made years in advance because who knows when you won’t be around anymore…?

  35. I hang onto my passion! ha! I hang onto it as if I might die if I let it go, but what I’ve learned is that keeping things balanced is nothing to be afraid of. Neither is using good China, an expensive perfume, fancy dress in an everyday scenario. You’re right on… life IS a special occasion.

  36. In some families, it’s called “saving something for good,” meaning for an occasion when you want to use the “good” china/silver/jewelry/whatever.

    A friend’s husband inherited his mother’s linen chest. When my friend went through it, it was stuffed with beautiful tablecloths and other linens, all with notes on them saying, “Do Not Use! Saved For Good!”

    My friend and her husband use the items his mother never found a good enough occasion to pull out.

  37. I think I’m mostly a use it or get rid of it type person. I figure if we aren’t getting use out of it then someone can – often I get rid of stuff and then Chris or one of the boys ends up asking for that particular thing – oops!!!
    Love the woven bracelets and the fact that the Tornado is enjoying them!!!
    And, those pink shoes should be worn at least once a week!!!

  38. Yup.. as you know, I have been writing about this a lot in the past months & Life being a special occasion – it is but we often don’t figure it out till later in life….

    Enjoy it now!

  39. YES to all of this. I just recently started doing the opposite and using, wearing, drinking whatever “special” thing I was saving. Life IS absolutely a special occasion!!

  41. I so love this post – you are so right, LIFE is a special occasion! Saving things for a time as yet to be determined is missing out on the moment! I have been on a weight loss journey, but happily BEFORE I started I was able to start living in the moment and it changed my life so much!

  42. omg i can SO relate to this! i save EVERYTHING for a special occasion and then sometimes it doesn’t get used/worn!!! i HAVE to get better about this!! you’re so right – life IS a special occasion, indeed!

  43. Something about this post is beautiful to me! I am sort of a hoarder on somethings. I mean I own 52 Starbucks mugs from around the world 😉 I agree LIFE IS a special occasion!

  44. This is so great, I try to be cognizant of this but it doesn’t always work. Another weird example is buying some fancy food/dessert/drink, and then saving it for a special day… and then it’s spoiled and inedible.

    My house would be much less cluttered if I only bought and kept what I would use. 🙂

  45. I am beginning to find that being able to let go of things is indicative of true happiness. When I was suffering from post-partum depression I found myself incapable of making decisions about throwing literally anything away. I’ve just begun to get every third Wednesday off of work and my first order of business has been to begin to purge and donate things that our family has clung unto that in reality have no useful purpose in our lives. In April (when the weather is warmer in Canada), hubby and I are taking a week off of work to continue purging and donating. You would not believe how much of an emotional relief it is to donate the baggage and clutter. It has me wondering if physical clutter is a representation of the emotional clutter that I have been feeling.

  47. Excellent post. It incorporates so much of what I’ve been thinking lately. Not necessarily the ‘special occassion’ part, but the part about life being now and why are we waiting to live it. Thanks for putting it into words!

  51. This is exactly the philosophy I hold to, which is probably why I’m asked, on a regular basis, “Why are you so dressed up?” haha! I definitely believe in bringing out the pretty clothes for any and every occasion!

  52. I’ve got something in my drafts similar to this but not taking it quite as far. My parents always ‘saved’ stuff for good…. which meant it was never used. What a waste. I guess I’m trying to learn from their actions (or inaction).

    Deb

  53. This is so, so true. I’ve been trying to minimize over the past year and only save the meaningful. I still have those “special occasion” things, but maybe I should either give them away or use them now that I think about it.

    Your post makes me think of the last time I ordered Prosecco at a wine bar for no other reason than liking it. I said to the bartender, “I don’t know why I ordered this. It’s champagne!” To which he immediately replied, “In celebration…of life. It doesn’t need to be a special day. Life itself is special enough.”

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