4 ways texting enhances my relationships.

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ahh the olden days.

I grew up during the heyday of note passing.

I passed notes to friends when bored in class (what should we wear tomorrow? wanna match??).

I passed notes to boys I liked (this was how I learned the timeless lesson:*all* things are permanent and can be shared. behave and write accordingly.)

I wrote long & verbose missives to best, best friends sharing my innermost thoughts on life, school dances and the pros & cons of Jordache jeans.

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back in the note-passing days.

Since my girl is not yet old enough to own a smart phone I tuck notes into her lunch or backpack.

Notes I invariably discover later saved in notebooks or pockets.

Ive learned not only do my messages let her know I’m thinking about her—they’ve become a way she frames her world.

If I remind her in a note (brief, block letters, easily read without teacher’s help) she’s unstoppable she continues to view herself in that way.

I still “pass” notes.

I’ve shared about all of the different friendships social media has gifted me.

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And, while I don’t know texting is technically social media (waves cane), for me it IS the most social of sorts.

For me texting is the note passing of the 2015’s.

I harness its power as a way to remain connected and let others know (just checking on you!! no need to respond!) in a non-intrusive way they are on my mind.

(Finger quote) Experts (unF.Q.) disagree with me.

Experts assert texting causes us to become less social.

Experts believe we’re raising a generation of children who lack face-to-face friendship developing skills.

I disagree.

I believe we create social skills in our children when they are young. Mine, at 2 months from 10, doesn’t own a smart phone.

When she asks: Will you text XXX for me? it’s always to make specific in-person plans or remind a friend of plans set for the future.

I disagree texting will result in generations of children unable to read social cues.

I believe in the constant connection texting brings to my friendships.

4 ways texting enhances my relationships.

Texting (and relationships) is built on the small stuff.

I’m a woman who loves the details of peoples lives. The sorts of things we shared decades ago when life was slower and we had leisurely conversations on the (princess rotary-dial) phone. Those days are over. Phone calls in my world tend to be brief. Skypes happen less often than Id like. Texting encourages us to detail-dump in a way email does not.

Texting connects us immediately.

My texted-thoughts are *rarely* time sensitive. I don’t care if friends respond right away. I feel as though I’ve been “heard” the moment I hit send! Sure I await a response, yet by sharing I already feel as though I can move forward. I know someone is carrying my thoughts, burdens or load alongside me.

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Texting allows me to let others to know they’re on my mind.

Remember the days before caller id? We’d always answer the phone as we’d no idea who was calling! Even with the addition of caller id I still question if it’s a good time to call. Am I interrupting? Is there time enough let them know they’re in my thoughts before my *own* conference call? Texting is a non-intrusive way to say: I’m thinking of you, Friend. and it’s far more real-time than email.

It’s not the phone.

We are all busy. And while I believe in making relationships a priority I often spontaneously have the gift of time without the ability to conduct a relaxed phone call. The child might be doing homework & occupied only until the next word-problem. I might have finished an article and have 5 minutes before edits. Texting can be done in a public place while maintaining private thoughts, too. Win, win, win.

For me texting is the opposite of isolating. 

With each buzz of my phone I wonder:

Who is it? What are you sharing?

And, even more than that, I’m appreciative others are thinking of me and grateful they’re inviting me in.

Now you.

  • Do you feel as I do about texting?  Does it enhance your friend-relationships?
  • Or do you find it empty/disconnecting and leaves you only with great TEXT’pecations?

 

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Comments

  4. I agree I seldom talk on the phone or should I say seldom like to talk on the phone. My husband is the last hold out on texting who prefers talking. He calls 4 or 5 times a day and it drives me crazy when I’m trying to work.

    • It’s funny how shocking that sounds now HE CALLS YOU??? and yet my husband travels about 15 days a month and now you have me wondering if more calls fewer texts might be better. hmmm.

  5. How many times I’ve wished people who ONLY use the phone would learn to text or at least learn to like it. For those of us who don’t love the phone, it’s the best and easiest way to assure we stay connected, and probably more often.

  6. I never like talking on the phone. Except when I had a pink princess phone in high school. Texting has replaced notes and phone calls. Even my 84 y/o mom texts! But I do miss handwritten notes. And I loved leaving my son notes in his lunchbox about having a good day and I was thinking of him.

    • oh the princess phones and their TWIRLY CORDS. I miss those some days. Not to chat on but to use as an uh decoration 🙂

  7. I so agree with this! Texting is my way to keep in touch with close friends. I still try to talk to them on the phone at least once a month, but when everyone is busy living life, texting is a great option.

  8. Lynne and I text each other during the day at work, when we can’t talk to each other.

    I like texting much more because I like to look back at messages and read them over several times. Especially if from my wife (Lynne) 😀

    In my opinion, a text lasts longer and is more meaningful (sometimes) than a phone call. 🙂

  9. I detest talking on the phone. But I do not have a data plan with my not-smart phone, and I deeply resent it when people forget that it costs me to receive texts, and don’t leave voicemail instead. If it’s urgent, call. Otherwise, just email me! When I eventually replace my iPod touch with a phone, I’ll get email everywhere, not just where’s there’s wifi.

    Goodness, the mere word “phone” can make me cranky.

  10. I was not a note-writer. I am NOT a texter.

    I have one co-worker who engages me by texting occasionally and I do respond in kind but I am not a fan.

  11. I completely agree. I have a son in college 700 miles away and texting is a great way for us to stay in touch, even if it’s just a few words here and there, it’s a connection and it’s on a more frequent basis because it’s so quick and easy.

  12. Yes, yes, yes, and yes. I love texting. I feel like I can text anytime someone or something crosses my mind (thank God for DND options – at least I hope my friends have their phones set that way when I text at midnight…)

    I am often places I can’t “talk” or have just a few moments while I wait for a kid after school. Texting allows me to stay in touch with people who aren’t local (hello, time zone differences) or have weird schedules (one of my closest friends is a cop who works the night shift).

    Texting is my favorite. Feel free to send my your phone number. ;o)

  16. Texts are great. Facebook is great! It lets us keep in contact with so many more people. Who has time for a phone call these days? I pretty much spend voice time on the phone with my parents but I’m training them to text and facebook message too. 🙂 I actually don’t answer my phone anymore (unless I know the number) because I got on a spam list, and frankly, I don’t really pay attention to it unless *I* feel like it. A phone call (non work related) feels like an intrusion into my time. A message is something I can get to when I have time.

  17. I am a HUGE fan of texting – it is my lifeline to some of my closest friends. Especially now when I am in clinicals and have to send an SOS text to a classmate about some disease I totally forgot existed but get questioned on by a preceptor. HA.

  18. There are only a small handful of people who I regularly call/call me. The rest of my communication is through texting. Sometimes it does feel weird to not have those lengthy conversations we use to have, but I find that I can often say more with fewer words, you know?

  19. I guess I have to go with a double standard on this one: I like texting for me, for the reasons you mentioned, but don’t like it for my kids. (my daughter like yours still not having a phone on which to do it). My son–14–texts all the time. I have pretty solid rules on it–not at the table, not upstairs, etc–but otherwise, it’s available to him and I hate the distraction it provides to home life. He’s not brazen enough to stop a conversation with one of us to do it, but he will hear the ping and his mind is elsewhere, waiting for when he can turn his attention to it. I also hate carpooling a bunch of teens and having them sit on their phones texting in the back seat. I’m considering being the mean mom and making them put phones away in my car. So I guess for me, an adult, who came to texting later, after habits were formed, I’m ok with it. For the kids, however, I hate how it replaces their face-to-face time. You should have seen the steam coming out of my ears when the middle school allowed phones at the lunch tables!

  20. I actually love texting, when it’s used in a positive way. I love a quick “thinking about you” kind of text.

    One of my friends is a muralist, and she did some work a few years back at a “no-tell motel”, a story which has given us hours of giggles. Last week I drove by the motel, and the owner has a little farmstand selling produce. I was stuck in traffic, and I got a great picture to send her.

    You can only imagine the texting that ensued…

  21. Texting is a great way to remind people, also, of errands or committments or of what’s going on, so we are all on the same page.

  22. When you’re alone it totally can connect you, but it really bothers me when you’re with another person or group and someone is texting or scrolling through Facebook and only half listening to you. THAT’S when you can feel disconnected.

    • Is that a younger generation thing? ACTUALLY STRIKE THAT 🙂 I know lots of women far older than I who do it all the time. Im with you on that one. If I need to do it I always tell the person who what and where as in “Sorry I need to text Sarah so she knows Im coming to get her soon.”

  27. I completely agree, social media make me more social not less. I have 2 kids now at Uni and a hubbie working abroad for a while, we have a family whats app group for just silly fun things we want to share with each other, it’s fab!
    I also fb message with my daughter when she’s away, all though our favourite tv programs, then it’s like we are watching them together and I miss her just a teeny bit less. We also send each other pins on pinterest, all just lovely ways to keep connected.
    I really don’t know how parents managed when their kids left before, when they would have to pre arrange a time for a phone call on a pay phone – thank goodness for text, facetime, skype, whatsapp, pinterest, instagram and facebook I say!

  28. Like fitness/weight-training, running, etc., passing notes was happening long before your perceived “HEYDEY” –

  29. I love texting….. I can send out things and let people get back to me when they can. The best right now is our freshman out in California, we text her and let her get back to us in her own time. She keeps in contact without feeling like we are breathing down her neck….

    Our teen will get a smart phone in a month, and it will be monitored, just as we did with the now 18 y/o. There is no privacy in this house….

    xoxoxo

    • and there will SO SO SO BE NONE ELECTRONICALLY here either 🙂 I will let her know for sure (here is your XXX. it is really mine. I will be checking it sporadically.) but it really all comes down to safety…

  30. i love texting and I can’t agree more that it’s a social activity, not unsocial! I also remember the hours on the rotary dial phone, no caller ID and the notes folded into tiny palm -sized squares. 🙂

  31. Note passing in school was so much fun. How many different ways could you fold your note? 😉
    I agree with you about texting. I love it as a way to quickly and non-intrusively tell someone I’m thinking about them and checking in with them. Most people can more easily make time for a little text here and there rather than a phone call. Myself included.

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