Ending the glorification of BUSY.

rsz screen shot 2014 04 19 at 51738 am Ending the glorification of BUSY.

yep. awkward dredlocks.

Decades ago I learned a lesson which has served me well ever since.

It was circa 1994 and I’d recently opened my boutique personal training studio.

I was excited.

I was terrified.

I was eager to train seven days a week, all hours of the day

I had a loan to repay and rent to pay.

I was (young and energetic and) willing to do whatever it took to make my business a success.

One afternoon I had a consultation with the superintendent of our school district.

I’m very busy, ” she informed me.

I don’t doubt it,” I responded.

I get up at 5:00a every single morning.”  She instructed me. “I have really busy days.

I can imagine,” I told her. “I can meet you here at 5:00 am if you’d like!

There was a long silence on her end after which she mumbled.

Um. No. Let’s do 730am.”

Each session—without fail—she’d dash in late having just woken up.

That interaction stuck with me as it was my first experience with the glorification of busy.

With the badge of honor it was to purport to sleep little, always be harried and have no time to MONOtask.

Close to twenty years later (!) I’ve resisted the glorification of the busy.

I rise at 4am each day—but less than a badge of honor it’s a way for me to have it all (or, more aptly put, want the all that I have.).

Sure, when asked I share I’m up like a puppy (meaning I wake sans-alarm), but never in a fashion which intimates my up at four is better than another mother’s waking at seven.

I *also* freely over-share I don’t love waking so early to work—-it’s just what I do.

Right now.

I hope not forever.

Lately the BUSY has crept in my life in a fashion I don’t enjoy.

I say yes to monkey bars and kickball, yet in the back of my mind runs a constant list of what else needs to be done.

rsz screen shot 2014 04 19 at 54325 am Ending the glorification of BUSY.

Here’s where I strive to be PRESENT.

The BUSY which waits for me after I’m finished.

  • The laundry. The grocery.
  • The writing. The tweeting.
  • The volunteering.  The mother/daughter book clubbing.

The stuff which comes together to weave the BUSYfabric of my life.

rsz 2screen shot 2014 03 05 at 42124 am Ending the glorification of BUSY.

shhh! it’s the SECRET-BUSY!

The busy of all of our lives.

The BUSY which, even if we make efforts not to glorify, invariably seems to become a source of comparison among us.

Is that why my new client felt compelled to lie about what time she woke up? I’ve wondered.

“Did she assume I woke early (I didn’t back then. Not as early as now.) and think I’d judge her? Or was it as simple as the fact we, even then, glorify those who led busy, overwhelmed lives?

Recently at a party I overheard a woman asked what she did in her free time.

“What free time? Who has any?” was her tossed off response.

I knew what she meant—work & children ate up all her extra moments—-yet the comment made me profoundly sad.

The underlying message returned to the glorification of the busy.

Lack of hobbies was a badge of honor for which she anticipated—given her delivery—murmurs of admiration.

I’ve begun to reexamine my own BUSY.

To tease it apart and *challenge myself* how much of it is my own creation and how much is the necessary BUSY of life.

I’ve no answers yet, so for now I’m striving to glorify the DE-busification of life.

I’m applauding those whose lives are by choice slow as I work to carve my own slower path.

A week or so ago the Tornado & I took a trip to New York City.  I had meetings and when I wasn’t in those we played.

As a result, I was excited to learn there was wifi on our 6-hour flight home.

I was behind in work & the pressure of the BUSY felt as though it could be lessened by a marathon, in-flight work session.

Long story short there was no wifi.

I was forced to relinquish the busy and spent most of the six hours doing this:

rsz photo219 Ending the glorification of BUSY.

I exited the plane (and headed back into the *Belly of the BUSY*) feeling more relaxed than I had in ages.

And re-committed to striving to stop the glorification of the BUSY.

And you?

  • Do you find the constant glorification of BUSY exhausting?
  • As our lives seem to only get more hectic—do you think the notion of BUSY as BADGE OF HONOR will ever change?

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Comments

  1. Izzy says

    I love this, Carla.
    Being “too busy” has definitely become a badge of honor in our world.

  2. says

    Great post! I couldn’t agree more that busy is glorified and maybe more so as moms. I’m a believer that you can make time if it’s important to you. I try my best to not discuss the level of business in my day and appreciate what I’m able to accomplish :)

  3. Harry says

    I see this a lot at work too.
    Everyone insists they sleep less than everyone else.
    Why the competition?

  4. says

    I am trying to learn from my European clients who do not glorify busy, but they seem to dump their to-do lists on my so they can take time off. :-/ On the other hand, this made me realize that maybe one reason I am so dedicated to my workout time is because it a guaranteed time of day when I am monotasking (not counting the trash tv I watch while I exercise).

  5. says

    not gonna lie, that’s why i want to go back to new zealand. more FORCED disconnect. Which is needed to UNBusify.

    glad you are working towards the same. cheers to no wifi

  6. says

    I agree wholeheartedly — I think the world would be a better place if connected and happy was the status symbol instead of busy.

  7. says

    I think some of it has to do with the negative connotation that comes from idleness. But I like being busy at idleness. LOL! Some consider it laziness…that you’re not hustling enough. I call it “enjoying the little nuggets of life”.

  8. says

    Oh yes. Absolutely. It is a badge of honor and I’ve been challenging myself to not answer, “I’m busy” when someone asks me how I am doing. Because that’s just an automatic answer and I’m not actually stopping to check in on how I’m doing. I had a forced weekend of rest right after we came home from vacation which stressed me out but ultimately was what I needed.

    • Hannah says

      Yep.
      Habitual response here as well.
      I need to think about the “not a priority right now” idea, too.

  9. Nettie says

    I can really relate to this as I am the woman on the plane getting miffed with how slow the wifi is and forgetting to appreciate I even can work.

  10. says

    Yes, I hate the glorification of busy. I hate it even more when others say to me, “you must be so busy.” Like I am going to be flattered by it? All I want to say is, “I am so alive!”

  11. says

    I found that quote a few months ago and made it my background. Later I saw you posted it on your IG… I wonder when our world shifted into the thought process that having a jam packed schedule was more important and more fulfilling than one that is not? Either way, I would much rather live in simpler times.

  12. says

    Thanks for still dropping by after all these years — however short the note, it is always positive! My blog has been terribly out of date… and I hate to say why, because it is the very topic of this post! Just too busy to put blogging above the “suck” line! :) I really just wanted to say I love the new (to me) look of your blog. Take care!

  13. says

    “busy as a badge of honor” —> this mentality makes me nuts. We are all “busy” because being busy means we are alive, but it is those moments like holding your daughters hand on an airplane that make you sit back and appreciate what you are being busy for –

  14. says

    Actually what I’ve noticed is those that are really busy always seem to have time to do the important things! Busy posers are more about intentions and less about commitments.

  15. says

    There are days when the busy swallows me whole but then there are others when I remind myself to just be…to be present and show my girls that they are the most important! I have summers to be more present since there is no school but I want all the days to be like that! I sure hope the glorification ends because boy it is exhausting!!

  16. Healthy Mama says

    I learned from you, Carla, to just say nicely: this isn’t a priority right now.
    It was hard, but I am no longer busy.

  17. says

    Who isn’t busy?? By living a life, having kids {or not}, filling our schedules with {Hopefully} important things, we are ALL busy. I try to avoid certain people at work who will always tell others how they are MORE busy than everyone else. If you have time to complain about your “busy badge of honor,” you probably have plenty of time. great post!

  18. says

    I actually remember this starting in high school with who stayed up the latest to get stuff done or just be up I think. I find myself saying busy, but really I find I”m using it as an excuse instead of being honest and saying no I don’t feel like doing that. I fully appreciate free time and have made it a priority :)

  19. Priscilla2U says

    Well, that client doesn’t sound like she was glorifying “busy;” she sounds like a liar who was looking for excuses and wasn’t really motivated to train with you no matter how you accommodated her. That said, business is overrated. It never ceases to amaze me how many “so busy” people (okay, *women,* I’ll say it) have time to DVR and then watch multiple episodes of pointless TV shows..,or post a FB status about spending the entire weekend on the couch catching up on a whole season of something on NetFlix, etc. How many of them do not use their “empty” time (let’s say the hour-plus their child is at a practice) to do something besides sit on the bleachers or in their car tooling around on their phone or tablet (TAKE A WALK? HOW’BOUT A RUN? BODY WEIGHT EXERCISES? YOGA?) and also waste hours upon hours upon constant hours “pinning” pictures of their dream homes and $700 designer handbags to virtual bulletin boards and then tell me they DON’T HAVE TIME to shop for whole foods, cook simple meals, exercise.

  20. says

    I grew weary of the “busy” of my life years ago. When my boys were growing up, there was so much to do, so many responsibilities, work outside the home, work inside the home, child-rearing, kid’s activities, my own activities–it was exhausting and sometimes overwhelming. Now the kids are grown and on their own. But even today–almost a year and a half into retirement–sometimes I think I have too much to do. Loved Anna Quindlen’s post yesterday (from years earlier) about how kids today don’t know about being anything but constantly busy and occupied with one activity after another. I remember my youth, growing up in the 50’s and 60’s, there were long days where we had nothing to do, and time stood still. I remember hating it at the time, but now looking back, I realize how glorious those times were–summers that lasted forever, long hours spent with friends, not pressured to be doing anything at all–just hanging out and enjoying each others company. There was no Internet, no video games, no cell phones. Today, as time flies by for me in my dotage, I relish every moment when there is nothing to do, and waste way too much time here on my computer…but it is such pleasure to have this time to finally be doing anything I want! All day—every day!

  21. says

    My schedule is all over the place and I cannot always guarantee free time, that being said, when I do have free time, I usually NAP – lol, gotta recharge – or I make sure to see a friend or get something that’s to be due in the near future done so I don’t bug out when its due date comes around!

  22. says

    I think the lack of wi-fi in a plane sums up my obsessive need to STAY busy! The last two flights we were on had me twitching for the first half when I couldn’t accomplish things I had set out to. I’m working on ways to relinquish CONTROL and relax more. Vacation for two weeks with super spotty wi-fi helped to keep me in the moment and I resolved that I would do better at being present upon our return home. Reading this post made me realize that I am, in fact, failing miserably. Time to reevaluate my busy!!

  23. says

    LOVE this!!! I had some free time this past weekend and hardly knew what to do with myself. I’ve gotten into such a ‘busy, busy, busy’ frenzy that I couldn’t slow my brain down to even try to read a book. I ended up cleaning out my desk and descaling my coffee maker. I can’t decide if that was sad or productive. And why was I sad because I wasn’t being productive?!? Ugh, it was a rough day.

  24. says

    Oh I love this. I’ve written about it as well. It really makes me sad to see so much glorification of BUSY. People literally brag about zero sleep, no time to read, no time for workouts, no time for cooking … that’s not to be bragged about. It makes me sad for them, for missing out on so much.

  25. says

    We’re all busy. The word, in and of itself, isn’t a bad one. I’m happy to be busy, doing the things I love, taking care of my family, raising my children, tending to my clients and ALWAYS spending time with myself enjoying my hobby.

    Drives me CRAZY when people say ‘it must be nice to have so much free time’ when I tell them I sit with my yarn and needles for at least 30 minutes each day. Like I have any more time in my day than they do…

  26. says

    YES YES YES.

    I am thinking of making this my third Summer of No because I’m feeling overextended in pretty much every aspect of my life, and I need to put things on a simmer rather than a boil. Thanks for the reminder, friend.

  27. says

    For me there is a huge difference between telling people I’m busy and actually being busy. This makes it less of a badge of honor and more of an excuse.

  28. Diane says

    Great post!!!! I’ve been talking to younger women about this for years. I am not impressed with busy anymore. There was a time in my life when I was. I often think it may make some people feel “more important” (like I used to be) or feed their self-worth if they are always busy. It is actually much harder to slow down, especially in Western culture.
    As for keeping children too busy, I highly suggest reading the book “The Hurried Child”. I read it close to 20 years ago and totally changed how I spent time with my children.
    Great Post, Carla.

  29. says

    I can honestly say I’ve never lied about how early I wake up… but I may have – once or twice – glued googley eyes to my eyelids so that I could sleep at my desk without anyone knowing. DON’T JUDGE ME!

  30. says

    I wish you were my best friend who lived right next door… You are so wise! I needed this reminder today and every single day. I don’t want to be too busy. I won’t wear that badge today! xxoo

  31. says

    Honestly, I never got it. I started working in the Corporate world as a youngster out of college. I worked long hours, had little time for me or my marriage, was doing errands in all my free time. I have never ever forgotten that. I do not like too busy! Never have & after that work experience – no – no glorification from me. I get that there are people that love it – just not me…

    I had in my mind a post on this too since there is so much social media pushing to always do better.. Some people just want to relax & nothing wrong with that! I think I will still write it even though you just posted this. :)

  32. says

    I don’t think I glorify busy, but I definitely choose it. Just the way some people choose to slow down, I choose my fast paced life. I like things to clip along, I feel happy and alive when I’m in motion, and with a husband, 2 kids and 2 dogs there is constant motion. Too much stillness gives my chemical composition time to depress and get anxious. I’ve been able to choose a career that includes my family too which I realize makes me lucky. My version of a plane ride holding hands is getting to teach my son to foam roll after free throw practice or letting my daughter jump on the platform with me to lead a Zumba song or piloxing block. I guess some may argue that I glorify busy just by the fact that not only do I admit to it, I document a huge part of it on my social media every day. And just the fact that I enjoy so much of it I suppose glorifies it. But not so much in the way that i feel like I ‘have’ to say I am even if I’m not. More like in the way that I’m happy in the busy choices I’ve made.

    Lol. Okay. End ramble.

  33. says

    Sadly I think busy=important in our warped society. Many of us feel like ‘more’ when every waking moment is filled with something seemingly less frivolous than downtime and enjoyment. In reality an overly busy person is probably not managing their time well or is overcommitted.

  34. says

    Couldn’t agree with you more. Glad you had a great flight!! :) Every Summer, I hear about parents rushing kids from camp to camp to keep “them busy”. We pick a few together for fun and then I say, “OK, camp of Mom time! You kids get to sleep in, ride bikes everywhere, go swimming and have fun!!” . Trying to teach them to NOT focus on having to be to over scheduled and busy to enjoy life. It makes me step back and do the same…so does our family bike commuting ! Makes us all slooooooow down to enjoy the ride!

  35. says

    I remember once at a Mom’s Group back in Ohio, the person who led the activity that day basically said that if she had more than 2 or 3 big things to do in a day, she’d find a way to dump stuff. It stuck with me that we don’t have to jam our day full of STUFF. I freely take down time every day…sometimes too much, honestly.

    And I totally get what you said about feeling so relaxed after being disconnected for a few days. I wrote a (not very elegantly worded) post about transferring that vacation feeling into every day life.

    That’s something I still struggle with.

  36. says

    This is so great b/c I am at a conference where one of the motivational speakers encouraged folks to say to others, “Wow, sounds like you’re busy,” b/c people would automatically take that as a complement and wear it as a badge of honor. Nope, I don’t think it’s going away anytime soon. And it’s annoying. We’re all busy. We all should be less so. Know what my favorite part of the week is? Friday afternoons before the kids get home. I shut everything off, get out a book, and take the quiet time. Sometimes I even nap! And I’m proud to announce it.

  37. says

    Great post! I’ve been thinking a lot about the glorification of busy over the past year-ish. Nowadays I avoid using the word “busy” as much as possible – and if I DO use it, I correct myself by identifying what I really mean (which is often “I’m committing myself to a lot of things right now” or “I haven’t prioritized ME time” or “I need to work on my time management”).

    I also tend to feel that when people say they’re busy, it’s a bit of a stinger. Kind of like saying, “I’m SOOOOO busy – and therefore I’m more important than you.” It’s weird.

  38. says

    There’s busy doing things you want to do and need to do and balancing them, and there’s ridiculously over busy with what one teacher i knew used to call “make work” because it was designed to just take up time.

    When i feel i’m over busy, i make myself stop and rest. The Good Book says The Lord took a day off, so what makes me think i shouldn’t rest sometimes?

  39. Meredith N. says

    Too many people use “busy” instead of “lazy”. I’m 30 weeks pregnant, working full time and I still find time to make it to the gym 5 days a week. Yes, I’m busy AND tired but I do what’s best for my body. My pregnancy has been amazing because of how active I’ve stayed. I recently went to a birthing class where I was the only pregnant woman in there that was still exercising, every one else was just miserable. Definitely an eye opener.

  40. says

    Not a fan of the glorification of busy! I’m glad I’m not alone in loving spending time with my mini-me, but then having this list going in the back of my head of what needs to be done afterwards. I try to quiet it, but sometimes it wins.

    BUT I like to think the reason I’m “busy” at times is because I’ve spent more time playing with my mini-me than running the rat race. I’ll take that busy any day of the week. The littles are only little once! :)

  41. says

    Ugh this is so true! I hate that people’s lives are so busy that they don’t take time to enjoy their children/spouses, be healthy, just chill. I try not to be that way. When I do take time to relax, all the stuff on the to-do list cycles through my head. One day, I hope to turn that part off and just enjoy the chill;)

  42. says

    Yes. Life is busy. But I also feel that life is what you make of it. :)

    My boys THRIVE on structure and routine. To some it may appear “busy” but if there is any lul in activity or down time they appear to be lost. :)

    Even planning in free time/play time for the boys makes the BUSY appear less busy.

    But yes… I feel that there is always SOMETHING pulling me away from my MAIN priorities causing me to make BUSY a priority.

  43. says

    Such a beautiful reminder, Carla. We all have 24 hours in a day, and forcing ourselves into a frantic busy state is always a choice. It’s tempting, but important to take a step back. Thank-you for this :)

  44. Janis says

    It’s all about being afraid to be a small creature in a big world — we have to constantly remind everyone in a LOUD VOICE of how VERY VERY IMPORTANT WE ARE.

    I think a lot of people also pile busywork onto themselves also in an effort to avoid something. “I’m soooo busy! I need to fold my socks, then alphabetize my spice rack, then iron my placemats, then I need to square up all my picture frames, and then … ” And as long as that to-do list never gets shorter, they never need to worry about being alone with their own thoughts for two seconds.

    Is any of this nonsense busywork really necessary, or are we doing it because we fear silence?

    “Busy” isn’t just proof of how VERY VERY IMPORTANT we are. It’s also a great way to avoid confronting what scares us.

  45. says

    Life is such a delicate balance and it is so important to fit in those meaningful activities een if it means working late or getting up early. I love this post. YOu shouldn’t ever be too busy for the important moments!

  46. says

    There have been too many times when I’ve felt overwhelmed and put the brakes on in my life, only to feel stressed and guilty about my lack of productivity and busyness. Slowing down isn’t enough; we also need to ACCEPT that slowing down isn’t a bad thing, that it’s essential to our health and wellbeing.

  47. says

    This is something that has always made me cringe. I REALLY TRY not to subscribe to it, since I am well aware that most of the frantic busyness is created by ME and nothing else. Believing you have no other choice seems like it would be frustrating at least and even plain depressing. I hate hearing the typical conversation of “you think that’s bad” when people are trying to one-up each other with stress/busy stories. What’s the point? Seems like busy=important person and people are more and more insecure that just being themselves is enough. They have to DO all this “stuff” to be worthy. I hate it, and I don’t think it’s going away any time soon.

  48. says

    Yes. This.

    I have a lot going on. However, I love it all. There’s not all that much in my life that is not there by my own choosing. I realize that I love my version of busy more than the free time giving things up would entail. I also make sure to take at least every other Sunday as a day to relax.

    When things are super stressful, I long to be bored, but really, only for a moment.

    My husband, however, always glorifies the busy. A lot. To friends, to family, we are just so busy, busy, busy. I think it stresses him out.

  49. says

    Hmm, I haven’t really thought about it before, but ‘busy’ doesn’t seem to register as a negative to me. I do think some people use it as an excuse sometimes (I probably do it myself), and some people use it comparatively (not me), but I tend to take it at face value. In the end, I *know* what’s true for me, and whether it’s true for anyone else really doesn’t matter. :)

  50. says

    Great post! One we can all relate too! Being in NYC myself, I was forced to de-busy. It was well deserved, something we all need to do more often! Of course that meant the list of todos when I got home was longer, but oh so worth it!

    And without hobbies, what kind of fun is that? we have to make time for those things ew love

  51. says

    Busy sent me into a diagnosis of extreme adrenal exhaustion almost two years ago. I have had to peel back my schedule to the essentials. It has been process of asking myself what is*really* essential and also looking at what I might be trying to hide from in the “busy -ness”. Making time for “white space” on my calendar has been a good thing for me – time to do whatever feels right in the moment. From my perspective, busy is not healthy – it can lead to being drained and having too much cortisol circulating in our systems. The coolest thing I have learned in the past two years is that when I make time to fill up my tank, I can do more than if I continue to run on empty.

  52. says

    In my adult life, my mom has always said to me “you think you’re busy now? Wait till you have kids!” In my new life on the west coast, I’m lucky to not have the 9-5 commitment everyday. I used to be accustomed to waking up at 5:30 or earlier to get my workout in before work and sometimes make the time to hit up the gym in the evenings too. Now, I allow myself to sleep later so I’m fully rested before carving out part of my day for the gym. I truly believe you have time for whatever you want to do.

  53. says

    I love this!!!!! The older I get, the more I see it’s ok NOT to take pride in jamming too much into my days. Time to slow down, still get things done, but ease the reigns up a little….

  54. says

    Oh I do so honestly hope that the glorification of the ‘busy’ will end at some point. Maybe as the population ages and becomes wiser about these sorts of things.
    I have personally stopped doing ‘just one more thing’ before I leave the house and have found that arriving where I need to go with a moment left to breath is simply awesome.

  55. cheryl says

    I embrace “busy” as it’s part of my job (which I love) and it’s end-of-school-year kdg. transitions/report writing/meeting with parents kind of days-which do leave me tired but exhilarated at the same time. And when the school year is over (in four more weeks) I will be not so busy. I w ill sit and watch quail raise their babies in my back yard. (Very rewarding after being so busy-sometimes it’s not a choice, it’s part of the job!)

  56. says

    We live in the land of “busy”. Everyone around here works way too many hours and when they aren’t working, they are taking their kids to the 1 million things they are involved in.

    My husband is the opposite end of the spectrum. He works really hard at work (he’s the most efficient person I’ve ever met) and he has a number of things he is involved with outside of work, but he has drawn a line. When things start to go over the line, he says no, even if it’s something that would be just for fun. He knows what he can handle and very seldom will step over that line.

    I’m somewhere between the two, but I admit I choose to leave housework undone and don’t take every work opportunity that comes my way, because I need my downtime with a book or some extra sleep. And if that means I’ll never set the world on fire, well, so be it. I’m ok with that.

  57. says

    Isn’t it funny how sometimes when we are forced to step away from some of our “business” we realize that it is a really good thing to do and that we should do it more often?! This week with my sister and her new baby I have spent more time just “being” than I have this entire year up to this point and it has been pretty amazing (after I got past the “guilt” of thinking about all I should be doing.

  58. says

    I’ve done the crazy insane busy…and can’t say I’d recommend it. Being home sick on forced rest has made me appreciate my time and cherish it more.

  59. says

    I don’t feel the need to project the appearance of being super busy all the time. I like not being busy. I like taking it easy.

    Now…if I could get someone to clean and cook and do my job for me, I could be not busy at a professional level.

  60. emmaclaire says

    This post made me stop and think about what constitutes the busyness in my life. I try not to use busy as an excuse, but I certainly lay the blame there, for example, when I catch sight of the glue and grit and tiles I have just waiting for me to try my hand at mosaic work. Interestingly, in reading the other posts, I realized that much of my busy IS my down time – up early to take my meditative morning run, cardio classes several afternoons a week, long run on Sunday – that’s all ME time. And cooking dinner for my family has always been a priority as well as being therapeutic at the end of a long day of work, so does that really qualify as part of the busyness?? Much food for thought, Carla, as usual with your posts!

  61. says

    I totally agree. We are all busy, regardless of what we do, or if we have kids or not. Everyone’s situation is different, and someone saying they are busier than me because I am a stay-at-home mom is crazy talk. I am busy, but I choose things that I enjoy to be a part of my busy, and like you I don’t always enjoy the early wake ups (for workouts), I know that this is temporary and it helps keep me sane.

  62. says

    Love this, because it made me think about my “busy schedule” and what is truly and really “busy. I do not think this will slow down, but actually get worse. And one of the things that I actually look forward to when flying is the disconnect and just being present, resting, and reading. Like you, I feel so much better after.

  63. says

    As always, you’re speaking truth! So often I hear, “If I only had time for… ” or “If I had as much time as ___ to do….” but we all have the same amount of time! I think the badge of busy will only decrease when we start to prioritize what’s most important and quit “doing” so much of the unnecessary.
    Annnnd, time to go look at my calendar & to do list :)

  64. says

    I love the slow down. And sometimes, it just comes naturally, without even planning for it. Love the picture of the plane ride :)

  65. says

    I have a natural ability to be busy. I know I got this from my mother. It feels incredibly natural and normal to be involved in a ton of things–funny enough people are always telling ME how busy I am. I suppose my normal is not many people’s normal. Good thing is, I can stop and gaze into the eyes of my boys anytime and leave the busy on the sidelines.

  66. says

    It’s so infused into our culture, the using of busy to not do things that are important to us. But busy includes our soccer games, cooking, working out, doing things we love. And sometimes I’m busy just, well, reading my favorite blogs. And…off to work.

  67. LG says

    Great post!!! This seems to be an issue more with us women, I think…hmm. I’m trying lately to chunk out most of Sunday for leisure time (watching a movie, napping, reading, whatever) but geesh, it is difficult to push everything else to the sidelines to REST. Gahh!!!

    I recently listened to a podcast that talks about weeding hurry out of our lives and “soul care”. It was SOOOOO thoughtful and interesting (and I would know a thoughtful and interesting podcast because I used to listen to your Two Fit Chicks podcast! Ha ha.) Lots to chew on in it. Regardless of whatever belief system you hold to, perhaps you might enjoy this episode…I don’t know you personally, so I’m just putting it out there. It talked a lot about whole-ness, body, mind, will and soul. http://www.moodyradio.org/04-2014/04-22-2014—Soul-Keeping—Midday-Connection/

  68. says

    i LOVE this! i have lived in San Francisco (which to me seems to be the epicenter of the busy whirlwind) for the last 3 years- 2.5 of which i spent working A LOT. since i quit my job a few months back, it has become so much more apparent the way people take pride in being ‘busy’- the way i see it, if you are too ‘busy’ to do something, it must not be that important to you! (keep in mind this comes from someone with no kids or husband, so i might change that tune in a few years!)

  69. says

    Wowww your posts are truly spot on, Carla! I always TRY to resist the busy lifestyle even though I live in Cali. To be honest, the US is the busiest and most stressful place I’ve been to, and perhaps even “busier” and more exhausting than India itself–where it’s hustling and bustling with cars going bumper to bumper. It’s alll about the mentality our society has adopted, and it’s so difficult to not get busy, or to fear that others might be judging us. Quite truthfully, sometimes I am worried that others might think I’m not busy or I’m just lounging around all day just because I’m a SAHM currently. However, I’m learning that I just have to ride the waves and place my identity not on what I do/don’t do, but who I am. :) Thanks for this reminder!

  70. says

    I dislike people saying they’re “too busy” for something. We definitely need to end that glorification!!! You wrote it well.

  71. says

    This is so true! Like God forbid someone asks you what you are doing this weekend and you say “nothing much.” Loser! Somehow being busy seems to make us feel more important. But there is a difference between being busy and being productive that I don’t think most people understand. Great post!

  72. says

    (Sorry, I’m behind on my blog reading)
    I love this post.
    Part of the reason we limit our Little Ladies to ONE sport/activity at a time is the busy-factor. (The other part is the how-wIll-I-pay-for-it factor.) We value eating dinner as a family and we can’t do that when we have to quick shove something in the kids’ pie holes so we can scoot off to soccer practice by 6. Hubs and I end up eating dinner after the kids go to bed. No way could I do that 5 days a week like I see some of my friends do.
    I can’t wait to go back to my non-busy dinner with the fam nights. :)

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  2. […] Ending the glorification of BUSY via Carla Birnberg because I’ve realized about myself in the last year or so how often I use “busy” as a fallback response, and I’m trying to be more aware of it. […]