Be a Shamash.

by

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Carla as Shamash .

We’ve been back living in Austin for 365+ days.

It’s been a year (!) since the Child and I had our big talk about making new friends and what do to when you can’t find a nice person to hang out with.

It’s flown.

It’s been fun.

That said, it also reminds me of what I’ve written before with regards to fully living in our bodies versus merely going through the motions of life encased in a skin-sack.

(bear with me. this will make sense in a moment.)

Using that sentiment as lens, I’ve been back in Austin for a year, but not lived in Austin since 2012.

I’ve spent time here. I’ve made friends here. I’ve reconnected with old friends here. I’ve done practically nothing to weave myself into the community here.

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fundraising 5k…doesn’t really count.

I had a vague sense of these feelings (for me fully living somewhere means immersing myself in the community) but never put the sentiment into words until I stumbled upon Rabbi Wolpe’s tweet during Hanukkah.

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Be a shamash (the helper candle whose sole purpose is to ignite others) he exhorted us via social media. Use your spark to set other lives on fire. 

Those 140 characters captured exactly what I have not been doing offline in the ATX.

I feel pretty good about my family’s 31 acts of kindness.

I feel pretty great about opportunities I’ve seized to help others in my virtual world.

I’ve not once served as Shamash in Austin in the same way I sought out/took advantage of these opportunities during my time in Oakland.

Your light burns brighter the more you spark the flame in others.

Thanks to my new Twitter Rabbi I realized I’d not ventured out and looked for ways to take my flame and ignite someone’s unlit wick.

(to beat a metaphor to death, I realize.)

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this man was often my Oakland Shamash.

Since I’ve read the tweet I’ve challenged myself to come up with general acts or attitudes (unlike the specific actions of our December) which would aid me in bringing light wherever I go.

Any gestures of kindness or reminding others of their inherent value I could think of which would serve to banish darkness or loneliness.

30 days later I’ve come up with five:

  • Remind others of their potential. When we believe in ourselves, we show up differently in the world. This is showing up confidently and unapologetically ourselves is contagious precisely like a flame. It’s a way I can be the light and know the light will gain momentum even when I’m gone.
  • Seek advice. Ask for help. We all have a basic desire to feel needed. We all feel more alive when we know we matter. My seeking other people’s counsel and acting on what they suggest helps me and serves to ignites the other person’s flame.
  • Offer connection. From Crappy Dinners to small acts of kindness. This year, more than any other, I’ve relearned the lesson everyone has a hard. Even when it’s not discernible on the outside many of us crave connection we aren’t receiving.
  • Provide help. Provide. For me this is different from offering. I don’t want to give people opportunity to brush off my offer or decline. This doesn’t mean I wont ask the person to clearly define for me how s/he would like to receive assistance. It does mean I’ll be gently persistent.

I won’t end this post by saying And now I plan to spend the next 350+ days Being A Shamash in Austin whenever possible.

For me it’s bigger than that.

I want to make this change, I want to share this change with my daughter, and I want us both to remain permanently changed and consistently bringing the light.

And you?

  • How might you be a Shamash in your community? What could you do to share your light with others?

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Comments

  1. I’ve lived in my community for 9 years and I have not really done much to be a Shamash. I’ve done things on nearby towns, but not my own. And it’s been on my mind a lot lately. Im all about more listening. More doing. Every body and every place needs that.

  2. Oh I Samash but I can always mash a little more! I love my YMCA so much because it provides endless opportunities to be involved, to help, to commune! I take advantage of a lot of that but my clients and people in my classes used to really make my fires burn. I miss that!
    I love that you have a Twitter Rabbi.

  3. I don’t know I’ve considered the fact so many of my friends live inside my computer LOL I’m not a light shining presence off-line anymore at all

  5. There are some really great Yiddish words, and now I have another new one to add to my vocab. Altho one of my Jewish friends told me I can’t use them because I’m not Jewish…

    I try to be a Shamash…working in the health care profession certainly lends itself to helping others. I’m not really a part of the community where I live, though. I could do a better job of that.

  6. I volunteer a lot but now I’m wondering if I might use my light in different ways.
    I might be better spending my time in different areas of my community.
    I’m grateful for the ways you make me think, Carla.

  7. I try to make a difference for people with hearing loss through my writing and advocacy work, but there is always more that can be done. Thank you for this great reminder and inspiration.

  8. I would like to consider myself a Shamash… I always have been one and I always will be one! But seriously! 🙂 I LOVE helping others. It’s a goal of mine to help as many people as possible every single day!

  9. My life is so home-work-home I am rarely OUT in my community, but I am trying to be kind when I interact with others — whether it’s being patient at Starbucks, holding a door for someone, etc. It’s not much, but maybe it’s a spark.

    • It’s definitely a spark and MORE. You never know whose day youre turning around with those sorts of actions. I know when Im on the receiving end it always turns mine around. <3

  10. that’s a really lovely thought Carla – lighting other people’s candles – yours stays alight, but you spread that light to others without losing anything in the process. I hope you get to make your part of the world shine a little bit brighter – keep us posted!

  13. Your twitter rabbi : ) That cracks me up.
    Carla you’re a Shamash of facebook. The external community Shamashing will come almost naturally now that it’s a priority.

    My Nuyorican friends taught me most of my Yiddish. My parents thought good Jewish girls should speak English and Spanish. My friends were Shabbos Goy’s. (I did know a smattering of words.)

  14. I think you do all of these things even more than you know. Perhaps not as much out in your real-life community as you’d like (?) but certainly with your online friends and family. I have been quietly noting ways in which I might ‘be a sham ash’, in Clara’s honour, when it feels right.

    Thank you for another thoughtful post xo

  15. Hi Carla! I’ve never heard the word “shamash” before but I am very familiar with the idea of how one light can light thousands of others. I think we are all more powerful than we usually acknowledge and that when we claim that and vow to share it we can help to heal and transform the world. Austin will be much brighter in the days, months, years to come because of you. ~Kathy

  16. I feel like as a teacher, we are intertwined in the community but this piece of it…lighting others that aren’t our students is missing!! Thank you for the reminder!

  19. If only there were more hours in the day. I do attempt to get out and volunteer and cheer at races to help “light the fire” for other athletes. At work, I try to help people nurture and foster ideas to a point where they become reality. There’s not a WHOLE lot of selflessness in the latter, but it does feel good to emerge from the creative process where as a team, we’ve created something together, rather than one person saying “this is how it is and how it will be now go do my bidding!”.

  20. Be a shamash – I love it! In college I belonged to a social justice group and we talked a lot about being the salt of the earth. I have so many areas in life where I need to be more of a shamash, especially in settling into my new community in Seattle. I genuinely believe the littlest acts of kindness and charity can make the big difference and try to live that out – so thank you for reminding me that as the new year begins!

  21. I love this post 🙂 I think I am a shamash during the day when I train people, but I’m missing out on it in my church community. When I lived in a different place years ago, I was involved with Sunday School, volunteering, etc. Now I just show up to church and stay sort of engaged. I want to change that!!

  24. Love this Carla! Love the quote. Love your points at the end!

    I always saw you as a Shamash!

    I know it sounds stupid, but this is always wanted I wanted to do with health & fitness… help others learn from my mistakes.. not as a trainer but as a motivator & shamash I guess….

    Fantastic post!!!

  28. I’ve been reading The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People lately and it falls so closely in line with what being a shamash entails. I’d recommend all of you read it as well! It’s not just about being a successful business person, it’s about being a good and successful person overall. Totally not what I expected, I must admit!

  29. Living in a large city it’s harder… so I have always tried to do things through my school districts. Put on a running race for kids (and teachers!) and moms/dads too. Coach cross country after school and take kids to races on the weekends and then all go out for ice cream! Be a part of summer camps for children who use augmentative communication devices. In my current school district I headed our site’s Relay for Life team. We are currently raising funds for a family whose mom is going through cancer treatment. I have however been a board member for the local running club for many years and am currently getting a women’s group together to demonstrate how to start strength exercises and yoga to keep us sane throughout the school year. If you love where you live, you will invest in it’s people!

    • and really, I am/was just doing what I love to do and didn’t/don’t have to even call attention to it or put a label on myself…

  31. I’ve never heard of that term before but I love it. I love the idea of being the flame to light someone else’s life. Doing services for other people, or animals, is so rewarding. Even little things. I used to do a lot of volunteer work. I haven’t had time lately (sadly) and I miss it a lot. I liked giving my time to causes and organizations I cared about. I’m looking forward to teaching our little one to be that “light” too.

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