An Ode To Our Squatty Potty.

by

This post is not sponsored.

It’s an outgrowth of a Facebook status which prompted a flurry of questions about the procurement of our Squatty Potty.

We potty purchased ourselves.

There are no affiliate links below.

La Di Da Di, we like to SQUATTY.

We don’t cause trouble we don’t bother nobody.

We’re just two girls who’re…on the pot.

When we need to poop you KNOW how we SQUAT.

squatty potty

Once upon a time there was a Queen and a Princess.

They both ate a LOT of fiber rich super foods

And yet? Our Princess still struggled on the royal…throne.

(We wont even talk about the Queen. Her love of hemp hearts et al made her highly regular)

(insert NSFW image here of said Princess upon “throne.”)

The Queen oft considered procuring a Squatty Potty.

She assumed, however, her Princess would royally refuse to recline upon it.

Our Queen presumed incorrectly and, once she ordered (ecco 7″),

the two lovelies were hard-pressed to decide who was more excited for  Squatty’s arrival.

Squatty Potty

Upon unboxing our Queen was shocked by Squatty’s simplicity.

And yet, while her royal court might have been right

and she *may* have been able to create a Squatty on her own,

she knew the Princess would be exceedingly excited by the snazzy contraption.

squatty potty

Our Queen plopped the Squatty in its place of honor

then showed the Princess precisely what to do

(chants of KINKED COLON, OPEN COLON! could be heard throughout the land)

And she departed the royal lav. planning never to utter the word Squatty again.

squatty potty

Oh my how our Queen was mistaken!

Not only did Squatty change the household position on pooping

Conversations about unicorns and Slick Rick emerged as well.

Our Princess pronounced the Squatty to be life changing.

rsz_screen_shot_2016-01-31_at_25936_pm

Princess Kinked Colon.

 

rsz_screen_shot_2016-01-31_at_25948_pmPrincess Open Colon

And our Queen, no longer fatigued from waiting outside potty door for Princess to produce,

Lived happily, SQUATTILY, ever after.

rsz_screen_shot_2016-01-31_at_25904_pm

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Comments

  1. First of all this is hilarious and second, I take my kids step-stool (that they no longer need!) and use it. It works perfectly 🙂 And all was healthy and happy though out the land!

  9. You two! i just love the faces. but actually i do love my squatty potty. It’s helped my pelvic floor a lot. I know, i’m that girl. pelvic issues and colon issues. LOVELY

  14. The mystic unicorn ad cracks me up so much! This post too!

    Ordinarily I’m fine but I have had one miserable bout of being plugged up here during chemo and as the hour got later and later and things were failing to move along, I was starting to wonder if I could rig something up. 😛

  15. My legs are so short that I actually need to either A)refit my lav with a child’s toilet or B) add a couple of yoga blocks to my SP. Even at the regular SP height it has helped tremendously.

  20. This is so funny! We saw it on Shark Tank and ordered one for my husband. He tried it but was not a fan. He says he was too tall for it. I may have to try it myself now.

  27. Hilarious!
    Seriously, though, I wish I’d had one of these during those dreadful few weeks during the first trimester of my pregnancy! All the fiber and probiotics in the world didn’t help. 🙁

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