I value you.

by

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The older I get the accomplishment I’m most proud of is my long-term friendships.

As much as I adore meeting new women and creating new bonds, the time invested to remain connected with old friends (in this oft disconnected world) is, to my mind, worth celebrating.

Recently a decades long friend needed advice.

Her struggle was something I’d never experienced yet, as with all struggles, there was an underlying challenge to which I could relate.

Needing change. Wanting change. Being uncertain how to spark change into motion.

We walked and talked. We consumed coffee and chatted. We brainstormed and blathered.

As we parted ways I hoped I was able to help her find comfort if not a solution.

The next morning I woke to a text update on her situation which ended with the words:

I value you.

Nine letters. Compiled into one succinct sentence. My jaw dropped.

Id never seen the phrase used as an entire sentence and the three words conveyed much more than I’d have thought.

I value you.

Being who I am I was unable to let the message leave my mind and I carried the phrase with me for the remaining 8 million hours of my day.

What does it mean to value another person?  I mused.

I’ve heard it used in reference to valuing someone’s feelings, but I didn’t share mine with her. We focused exclusively on her situation.

As I carried and pondered I concluded the phrase meant pausing the human instinct to place our thoughts and feelings before another person’s.

Valuing someone means making the choice and effort to prioritize her thoughts, taking action, and following up.

I value you.

I heard her text message sentence as saying I hold you dear.

I read her message as stating I value your opinion.

I internalized her note as I hear you. I treasure the words you make the effort to speak.

I value you.

And you?

  • Have you received or uttered my new fave phrase? Would I value you be your Love Language?
  • Will you join me in slowing the day and reminding those you love that you value them, too?

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Comments

  1. It’s remarkable how a few words can be so meaningful. I try to take the time to let others know I value them — I’m more likely to say I appreciate what they did. Will have to take that a step further!

  2. Remember the post about the laundry tag where you said you talked too much?
    That’s what I do I think with this.
    I would never think to just say I value you I go on and on LOL

  3. Abso-friggin-lutely! I value so many of my friends and family members and make a point of telling them. As I just came back from my big race and received such an outpouring of love and support, I am finding so much value in my circle 🙂 xo

  4. I had a patient who gave me a handwritten thank you card and it said those same words. It meant so much too me to read those words. It made me feel like I actually am doing something right. Some days at least! 🙂

  5. I agree…one of the most powerful statements…I loved my old work place as my boss often on the weekly said I value you and your opinion…that was the first time someone repeatedly told me that and it made a HUGE difference in my outlook and attitude towards work!

  6. Yesterday I had two training clients who told me that coming to see me was like therapy. It was one of the most incredible compliments that I’ve ever gotten. I need to tell the people that I value that I really do value them–great reminder.

  8. It’s a lovely little group of words isn’t it – and it says so much about relationship and being appreciated for investing in your friendship – not much more we could ask for in this life is there?

  13. One of the things I most value as well are my long term friendships…I have so many wonderful friends and they are always there for me. I am truly blessed…and those 3 words are very powerful…

  14. Taking the time to tell friends and loved ones how much they mean to us is a lost art. I love how you get to the core of what’s important, Carla! In fact, I’m just crazy about you!

  15. LOVE! I actually do use those words for friends that help me. I have very few that I confide in & ask help from so I make sure they know I do value them. I have a lot of shit going on so it is important to keep those close & let them know that as they listen to all my crap and offer up my ear to them. 🙂

  16. Wow, and it’s interesting how “I value you” is different from “I value our friendship”, isn’t it? I value you for who you are, vs. what you do for me. I’ll try to remember this today, I promise.

  20. That’s a beautiful sentiment! I love you is said so often sometimes it almost feels like it loses meaning. I VALUE you definitely feels more… weighty? Meaningful?

  24. I agree with you and all the other comments about how those words seem to touch your heart. We all want to feel we’re valued and this is perfect.
    b

  25. I agree with you and all the other comments about how those words seem to touch your heart. We all want to feel we’re valued and this is perfect.
    b

  26. Carla, I had to learn to value myself…to love, understand, respect, appreciate and understand my gifts. I say to others, “You inspire me.” For me to utter or write these words to someone, they really have touched my life. So Carla, I must say…

    “You inspire me.”

  27. My late husband used to say that to me all the time… “Do you know how much you are valued and adored?” or “I value you.” No one had ever said that to me before…. Brenda

  28. Love this! I don’t think we can tell our friends how much we appreciate and value them too often. If we truly value them in our life, it is important to let them know.
    I know the older I get, the more I value my true friendships. They are so important to me.

  29. So crazy to be seeing this post tonight (but not, because that’s how the world works). Had the “value” discussion with someone dear to me last night. She’s feeling stuck at her job, discouraged by relationships, and general dis-ease. Not really thinking much about how impactful the word could be, I said in relation to her job, “So, based on what I’m hearing, I’ve got to ask…do you feel like they value you?” It was as if a curtain had been lifted and a light turned on in a dark room. Up until then, she truly could not pinpoint why everything just felt so bleh. Being valued is something we all need to feel – and it makes it a whole lot easier to keep valuing ourselves along the way.
    I LOVE that your friend used that word to describe her feelings for you. It’s a small, overlooked word…but man does it hold weight.

    (p.s. trying to be better at leaving comments, as I’m ALWAYS reading, but just kinda lurk in the background. creeper much?)

  31. So true, I most recently read Danielle’s FireStarter Book and let me tell you its all value and made me realize who my true friends are and how I value ME as a person, I have been meditating on this and I love that I came across this post! Thanks for sharing!

  32. I just gave the same message to a couple of friends I have had for years and years as I am going through a tough time right now and they offered to listen – they didn’t necessarily give advice as they have not been in my predicament. But they listened and I was grateful for that and let them know..

  34. I think it’s nice to get an unexpected compliment…. one that’s a bit unusual – something a bit different. It’s also a reminder for us I guess to be more specific in our compliments. Rather than just a thanks, or I appreciate that…. explain why perhaps!

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