Meditation doesnt change things.

by

meditation pillow

The other morning the new 5th grader emerged earlier than usual from her bedroom.

Typically, by the time she’s ready for conversation, Ive moved on in my day from meditation to coffee.

I’m at the computer, occasionally finishing morning pages, usually having started to work.

This particular morning, however, I was still seated on my meditation pillow.

I like to think I looked like this.  rsz_image-110

Calm Carla.

She was silent as she watched, but I knew she was there. (Ive still got monkey mind & immediately registered her footsteps)

When I finished and opened my eyes she asked what I was doing.

Meditating. I feel best when I start my morning being still. I listen to what’s inside me. I focus on my thoughts and feelings and try to let them disappear so I can be calm.

She grasped this immediately

Kind of.

Over the past few months she and I have brainstormed ways to soothe ourselves when we feel nervous, anxious or even overly excited.

She considered my response and, to my pre-caffeine dismay, concluded it wasn’t enough.

But what exactly were you thinking about? How were you thinking about everything and make it go away at the same time?

Her question momentarily stumped me.

She was right, it was a Herculean task some mornings to empty my manic mind.

The day is about to start and, even structured, my to-do list is always miles long.

I snatched a blank sheet of paper from my desk and held it up by way of example.

I try and be like this. I focus on letting the “noise” in my brain go and making my mind smooth, empty and blank like this paper  
rsz_screen_shot_2016-08-23_at_40708_pm

Mama’s Meditation Mind.

The explanation seemed to suffice, but she clarified she had one more question:

What does your meditation do? When you’re finished and you open your eyes is everything perfect and OK? 

What came to me in that moment was something Id said before and which I’m convinced is not my own (anyone?).

Meditation alone doesn’t change things. I told her.  Meditation changes me. Meditating calms and centers me, so I am capable of changing things.

As I shared the sentiment with her I recalled saying the same to a friend who asked about my meditation practice.

“I don’t know if I’m doing it “right,”” I told my friend. “I only know meditating changes me. It slows me down and calms me so, when I’m finished, I am able to have a positive impact on my world.”

Meditation wont ever change my life.

Meditation facilitates my being open and willing to change myself.

And you?

  • Have you created a meditation practice? Have you found it helps you to change things?

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Comments

  1. **Reminder to re-start meditation practice. ** Back in the spring I set out to start meditating first thing in the morning. I was on a good role and was feeling pretty good about it and how it was making me feel. But then summer… Back to the beginning I go!

  2. This is one of the things I THINK about doing all the time and never do. I know it would change me and help calm me but, but, but…
    I love how when the kids ask us the “hard” questions it forces us to really think about our answers. They’re great like that 🙂

  3. Considering this my wake up call to MAKE MEDITATION A DAILY PRIORITY…I do daily prayer throughout the day with special time at night an dmorning…but I need more silence, more time with me…I NEED THAT!

  6. I used to meditate when I rode. It was one of the few things that truly cleared my mind. I really miss that–it did change me for the better. Now, so often when I run, I am listening to something.

  7. I’ve never been a meditater, but I am a pray-er and that does a similar thing for me. I take my day and my cares and concerns and hand them over to God. It doesn’t solve anything but it gives me a calmer perspective and the ability to see the bigger picture more clearly.

  8. Your child is fortunate to have a parent teaching her about meditation. Even when I mediate for a solid five minutes I feel better. Thank you for the reminder!

  9. I have attempted meditation (oops accidently typed medication there!) with mixed results. I joke that I have ADHD–I have so much trouble emptying my mind. Even at yoga, when we do savasana, I struggle. I know it would be beneficial. I just don’t know if I can do it!

  12. I love this. My mind is like hers, and yours. It’s so hard to do that sort of centering/focusing thing. And yet I need to and want to – often. I think I should try again, even if it’s just five minutes of breathing and not focusing on not focusing. 😉 If you follow … I think I do!

  15. You know you’re right. I think meditation helps me accept something as “is” vs. what should be, or could be. It helps me settle into my thoughts without judgment. And if I can get rid of the self judgment, then I can handle almost anything.

  16. Hi Carla! So very, very true—meditation changes us. I am happy to say that I meditate every single day and have been doing it consistently for the last 6 years. (My husband and I do it together so that makes it easier!) Before that time I did it on and off for many years but since we’ve made the commitment there is no doubt that it has changed me. So much so that I can’t imagine a day without it. Sort of like breathing! And good for you for setting such a powerful example to your daughter. I think that type of lesson, and your explanation will serve her for her entire life. ~Kathy

    • I adore the fact you do it together. I have one friend who does the same and, quite frankly, I cannot even imagine it! But I think thats because mine is so tied in with silence in the whole house and no one else awake?

  17. I think if I were more committed to it, it would change me. When I was having a really hard time with life in general that was one of the things I was supposed to do. It did help a *little* but I know I didn’t give it the focus it deserved. However, I always feel better after savasana because I do end up in that meditative state for a few minutes.

    • Im terrible 🙂 at the savasana as Im thinking most of the time OK SO I NEED TO GO HOME AND START ____ AND DO _____. So this is just what works for me. Savasana might just BE your meditation! Now if I could get the entire yoga class to come to my home and we could do the corpse pose in my family room AND I COULD GO RIGHT TO BED—Id rock it.

  19. Prayer is my favorite form of meditation, and it changes me. It also lets me put the things that i cannot control firmly into the “i can’t control that so i will not worry” place in me.

    • Which made me think of my favorite DONT DIG UP IN DOUBT WHAT YOU PLANTED IN FAITH. *That* really is a piece of my meditation each day as well.

      • I needed to see this “Don’t Dig Up In Doubt What You Planted In Faith” quote , reminder so bad this morning. Was trying to recall how it goes and couldn’t .

  21. I meditate when I sleep. LMFAO! Otherwise, I really cannot sit still. I mean, maybe I could say that I meditate when I work out every morning? Because I am zoning out?

    • YESSSSS. I meditate so many times each day as well and was just chatting with a friend about that after she read this. When I walk the dog, when I fold the laundry, when I wash dishes, when I brush my teeth. YES TO THE ZONING OUT BEING MEDITATION for sure.

  22. I could benefit from meditation I’m sure. I don’t make time for it, but also, I’m never sure I do it right! I have a hard time pushing my thoughts out of my head.

    • The best thing for me in this process (called life) is Ive finally realized there exists no perfect or even a true “right.” Only what’s perfect and right for ME. It sounds so trite I realize, but it’s just so so very very true.

  23. Active meditator (and sometimes inactive meditator) since 1970- I don’t want things to change- I am happy with status quo and don’t like change….that’s why I meditate- to accept changes that I cannot and should not try to control.

  27. Ahhhh monkey mind. I know it well.

    I don’t mediate per se, but I try to find the quiet thinkless joyful moments in life that refresh me to tackle the mundane stuff. Which may or may not be the same thing or serve the same purpose, but it’s what this made me think of….

    When I’m reading and so wrapped up in their story I’m not thinking about mine. Snorkeling in a random lake where some brave little fishies adopted me as their own and nuzzled my hand like a cat. In the all out effort at the end of a race near the finish line where your body burns too much to brain (and then the ability to STOP doing that once you cross the finish line). Riding down a hill (not too steep) where the wind makes my hair fly back and I feel 10 again.

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