The other morning the new 5th grader emerged earlier than usual from her bedroom.
Typically, by the time she’s ready for conversation, Ive moved on in my day from meditation to coffee.
I’m at the computer, occasionally finishing morning pages, usually having started to work.
This particular morning, however, I was still seated on my meditation pillow.
I like to think I looked like this.
She was silent as she watched, but I knew she was there. (Ive still got monkey mind & immediately registered her footsteps)
When I finished and opened my eyes she asked what I was doing.
Meditating. I feel best when I start my morning being still. I listen to what’s inside me. I focus on my thoughts and feelings and try to let them disappear so I can be calm.
She grasped this immediately
Over the past few months she and I have brainstormed ways to soothe ourselves when we feel nervous, anxious or even overly excited.
She considered my response and, to my pre-caffeine dismay, concluded it wasn’t enough.
But what exactly were you thinking about? How were you thinking about everything and make it go away at the same time?
Her question momentarily stumped me.
She was right, it was a Herculean task some mornings to empty my manic mind.
The day is about to start and, even structured, my to-do list is always miles long.
I snatched a blank sheet of paper from my desk and held it up by way of example.
I try and be like this. I focus on letting the “noise” in my brain go and making my mind smooth, empty and blank like this paper
Mama’s Meditation Mind.
The explanation seemed to suffice, but she clarified she had one more question:
What does your meditation do? When you’re finished and you open your eyes is everything perfect and OK?
What came to me in that moment was something Id said before and which I’m convinced is not my own (anyone?).
Meditation alone doesn’t change things. I told her. Meditation changes me. Meditating calms and centers me, so I am capable of changing things.
As I shared the sentiment with her I recalled saying the same to a friend who asked about my meditation practice.
“I don’t know if I’m doing it “right,”” I told my friend. “I only know meditating changes me. It slows me down and calms me so, when I’m finished, I am able to have a positive impact on my world.”
Meditation wont ever change my life.
Meditation facilitates my being open and willing to change myself.
- Have you created a meditation practice? Have you found it helps you to change things?