Years ago I believed the word NO to be a four letter one.
bastardize paraphrase a now trite saying: I was quick to give others a YES! even when I knew, in essence, it meant I was saying a NO! to myself/my needs.
I didn’t realize a I misplaced YES was a disservice to the other person.
I taught myself to NO.
I learned about the margin-preserving power sparked by saying that tiny word.
I declined work opportunities which were not a true fit.
I gave negatives to school volunteer “asks” which weren’t my skill set.
I said no to social outings which didn’t sound enjoyable or which didn’t work for me.
I grew too skilled at the art of the NO.
I was only involved, never committed, and it isolated me.
First, however, I had to get honest with myself.
I needed to clearly and specifically define why NO worked for me NO mo’.
NO closed me off.
NO! rocked when it came to creating a life where I never existed in a frazzled, maxed-out space. I’d come to realize, however, my current existence cried out for new experiences far more than safety, cushion or margins. Unbeknownst to me all of my brazen, confident NO’s! had conspired to make me hermit-like.
YES led to more.
Recently Ive spent a great deal of time reading/learning about abundance (<—-foreshadowing!). My realization I’ve grown too comfy with the NO! ties into this idea, too. NO! for me is born from a scarcity mindset. I’ve chosen to begin living with the backdrop of “What can I contribute here?” versus “What might I gain from this?” NO is a dead end. NO closes the door. NO is not abundance.
NO stopped Law of Attraction in its tracks.
I believe in the law of attraction. That said, even if it’s not your thing, spending one day living consciously make it exceedinly clear what we put out into the world flows back to us. The abundance of my NO’s ended my opportunity to both ‘put out’ into the world and to receive anything in return.
I’ve not totally lost my damn mind and entirely erased my margins.
- Yes! I think I can fit all that in later. (later being the key word)
- Yes! Let me check my plans and I’ll get back to you with specifics. (‘plan checking’ allows me space to find a time which works for me)
- Yes! That sounds amazing. Tell me more! (tell me more = a polite/subtle way of asking the other to convince me)
YES’ing, while not an overnight shift, highlights for me the challenge of achieving “happy medium” in life.
I’m taking small affirmative-shuffles forward and reminding myself how, with each YES! utter, I beget another.
- Are you in the boundary-drawing, margin-creating NO! season of life?
- Have you grown too adept at proffering the negative and slid into being a NO’aholic, too?