Accidental goal achievement.

by

and staring...

these feet were made fer walkin’!

Years ago.

Many.

Perhaps around twenty?

I had a conversation with my then-boyfriend/now-husband:

I long to be the individual people look at and wonder: Does she own a car? I always see her on her bike! Seriously. Does she own a car?!

I dont even know precisely why I longed for this (remnants of college Grateful Dead loving days? a sense of wanting the freedom I surmised a bike-only misfit would feel?) –but I did.

There simply seemed to exist a spontaneity in that girl I wanted to experience and which I did not possess.

I was also self-aware enough–even then–to realize this would never happen.

It wasnt so much I loved my car/cars in general (oh how I did not).

It wasnt the fact I didnt need/want the exercise (biking places seemed an easy way to fit in fitness).

I just knew myself.

Even then.

The conversations would always end with:

…and I guess part of maturing is realizing when something you WANT to be a piece of your self-definition really will never be reality. That bike-women sounds free-spirited & interesting yet that will never be me.

always. always.

I biked. I stride’d. I definitely owned a car.

I recognized it was fantasy I needed to let go of.

And shed I did.

Id completely forgotten those youthful-conversations until recently, too.

Flash forward to life *today* in Oakland.

After flashing back to my broken window experiences.

Oh, and flashing sideways to how having a pedometer has changed my life and made me a better mother.

(Annnnnnd do the *sprinkler* as you dash UPSTAIRS because youre not allowed to pee on the first floor these days…)

The lens through which I view Oakland-living has done a 180 by virtue of the fact I’ve chosen to view it as a walking community.

It’s not really.

It’s a kind of a haul to my coffee-shop office.

I can only grab a few items at the grocery as the l-o-n-g walk back + said items on my back = awkward-cumbersome.

Yet I’ve chosen to view my ‘hood through the WALKING LENS none the less.

as

go carla go!

Recently a neighbor I dont know approached me and asked:

Do you own a car? We see you walking everywhere and wondered.

Over the course of the next few weeks I *other* strangers/neighbors/new friends made similar comments.

Do you and your husband share one car?  I see you walking all the time–did you sell your car before you moved?

It was during those interactions it dawned on me I’d achieved a life-goal without noticing.

rain or shine: Im a walker!

rain or shine: Id become a walker!

Id done precisely what the ‘goal achieving gurus’ tell us not to do (Id taken my eyes completely off the prize!) and only after I let my goal go did I accidentally achieve it.

And, because I am indeed the consummate misfit, this accidental-success has bolstered my confidence in arenas where Im actively seeking successes.

I now think:

Well damn.  If I can transform myself into the girl no one thinks owns a car (!!) then why could I NOT _______, too?

It feels empowering & it feels amazing.

I feel unstoppable.

And you?

  • Have you ever been so busy LIVING youve not realized—either until someone points it out or with hindsight–youve achieved a goal?

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Comments

  2. This is great. I love your sneakers! Hey, if you’re walking that much you have to take care of those feet, right?
    I used to be the biker girl before I had kids. If I had to put them in a bike cart and actually run errands, it would take me all day!!! Hmmmm, maybe that’s the point? Great read once again and congrats on achieving your goal!

  3. I would love to be able to commute be bike/foot, but it just isn’t a reality where I live. Trying to convince mrC we need to live somewhere else 🙂 Maybe one day…

  6. Interesting. I grew up where I could walk to restaurants, etc. and would like to move to a place like that again some day. I do make my husband walk with me to get fro yo a few times in the summer, but that’s over a mile each way and along a busy road.

  7. That’s so fantastic. I live in an incredibly walkable community and yet I will admit, I don’t take as much advantage of it as I should. You have inspired me!

  8. I like how you have chosen to make it a walking community in order to find your happy.
    Does the Tornado accompany you?

  9. You are lucky to have achieved this & without even knowing! 😉 Thx to as one comment put – nosey neighbors. 😉 Around here, we hardly know neighbors.. it is like that unfortunately… Honestly, I used to walk more to close by places – this is not really a walking community here.. but now with age & the post today which talks about things that happen with age & the “peeing”.. I can barely make it to the corner! 😉

    AS for something happening that I did not realize – I have not realized it yet so not yet.. 🙂

    Love your outfits BTW! 🙂

  10. Sadly, the only goals I have ever achieved without consummate focused effort have been career related. The older I get, and the older my son gets, the less satisfying those goals are to me. Fitness goals always seem to require my full, concentrated commitment and life goals are similar. My life goals (the ones the work me and the mommy me make for real me who hides deep underneath those roles) seem to have surfaced more lately and have me examining a lot of priorities. This post has truly inspired me and I think it’s time to shift some things around and figure out how to focus on what’s important!! Thank you!!

  11. Love! Both the walking and the unexpected goal reaching.

    We live in a very walkable community and I’ve been trying to take advantage of that more, but I admit I’m often too much in a hurry…

  12. I wanted to own a VW bus…my husband put the brakes on that one!! I love this! I have always wanted to be the fit mom…the mom that my daughter’s friends thought was crazy! Lol!!! I guess time will tell on that one!

  14. We went 9 years without a car -on on purpose. We didn’t buy another car until my husband started going on job interviews that were hours away. I still bus and walk the my kids to school even though it takes ages.

  15. Congrats! And I do love your nosey neighbors. I loved living in Washington DC as I didn’t have a car and was perfectly fine. Southern California – not so easy. 🙁 My daughter walks home from school every day and then to her dance studio 1/2 mile up the street – I shall live vicariously through her 🙂

  16. Isn’t it funny how that happens sometimes? Lately, I’ve been so much more about letting go of the goal and expectations and being open to whatever happens. Well, sort of. There are still things that I do to move toward a goal but I find that I’m clutching to the end goal itself less, if that makes sense. PS – Oakland is SO NOT a walking town and I love that you walk everywhere!

  18. So funny you say this! When I was younger, I wanted to be a writer. That was what I always wanted, went to college for it, and then along the way, that dream fell off and I discovered other things. It wasn’t intentional; it had just shifted to the back burner. In the past few months, I’ve picked up some pretty exciting writing pieces and I was telling my Mom about it the other day in a nonchalant fashion. She was like, Heather, I knew this would work one day! At first, I had no idea what she was talking about…but then I realized she was right. Crazy stuff happens when you aren’t paying attention 🙂

  19. WooHoo for achieving a goal that you had sort-of written off – the best kind of success!!!
    I would have to think about that one for awhile – not sure it has ever happened to me.

  20. Congrats on reaching your goal!! I imagine you are quite the topic of conversation in your Oaktown neighborhood.

    The mizfit lady with the crazy leggings, crazy backpack, tattoos galore, AND “does she even *own* a car?!”

    Love that you keep them (and US) guessing!!

  22. Reaching unexpected goals, either the ones we set before ourselves or those we just reach without ever setting the intention to, is something I believe happens day to day, sometimes without us even realizing it. It’s a pretty cool feeling when see and feel what you’ve reached without intentionally reaching for it (although perhaps subconsciously you are). I’m not sure if that makes sense. lol

  23. already TWICE this morning I have said “anything is possible”.

    and then I read this, about you achieving the goals – fun ones and big ones and accidental but wanted ones… a great read and an important message here!

  24. That’s so freaking cool!!!! That is kinda how I felt the first time someone came up to me and said my blog inspired them to do something. I never started my blog with that intention but whenever I hear that my blog has inspired someone I feel rewarded, and that it was my goal!

  25. that’s awesome!!! one of my favorite things about our florida life is that I do walk all over the place for tons of errands. I make multiple trips to the store each week and I like that feeling of getting places by foot!

  27. This was exactly what I needed to read this morning. Together, with a discussion I had with a life coach the other day, it’s made me realize that the reason I’ve been feeling so lost lately is my lack of goals and self-definition.

    At 46, I’ve yet to really sit down and do the work to figure it out. Making this my gift to myself…

    Thanks so much for the gifts of your writing and friendship! (And I’m super jealous that you’re able to walk to ‘work’!)

  28. This kinda makes me feel bad because my neighbor asked me if my legs worked after I drove down to the end of the driveway to get the mail. DAMN YOU FOR SHAMING ME INTO USING MY LEGS MORE!

  29. Congratulations!

    And, actually, Oakland is ranked as one of the most walkable places to live in the US. And your neighborhood is (I think) a 9 out of 10 on walkability!

    It’s the main reason I want to live there!

    My grandmother -when told that arthritis would have her in a wheel chair by 40- walked 40 blocks to the local fresh air market every day it was open. She would pick up just enough food to last until the next time she came then head home.

    She died at 88 never needing that wheelchair.

  30. That is such a great mindset! Sometimes we keep striving for new goals, but we may have already achieved one! I’m sure there is something I have done and didn’t notice…lol… just can’t think of it now though.

  31. THIS HAPPENS TO ME QUITE OFTEN!! I need to slow my roll and speed check! However, I have been doing it more so these days because I want to cherish every moment before it’s too late!

  32. :). It’s funny how the things that need to happen just out of who we are just “do” isn’t it? I have caught myself a few times being who I’d hoped for just randomly and it is a grand thing.

  34. I love this! So neat…I think mine was probably living an active life (it’s just part of me now!) and being an “outdoorsy person.” I used to put a lot of stock into that and wanted to be known as a hardcore person, but I remember when I let that go and realized a.) I’m NOT hardcore (like you say!) and b.) that’s not what I want to define me anyways. When I did let it go, it became a part of my life in other ways – not bagging peaks and being impressive, but being with people outside. The focus shifted from me to others and with that I began living more of that outdoor life. I love it – it’s what Mikey and I call “living with an open hand.” 🙂

  36. Good for you! I’ve got a very short commute to work and I do bike (I have also run, rollerbladed and even skied) to work, but there’s always some extra thing (usually picking up the kids from daycare) that keeps me from doing it all the time and becoming the “Dude, Where’s Your Car?” Dude.

  39. That’s great!

    I think I probably walked at least 700 more miles this year than the year before, but it didn’t happen by accident but I REALLY had to work at it! 🙂 Unfortunately, I still have to use the car to pick up the kid, so no one will ever think I don’t own one, something I think would be cool… 🙂

  40. As I mentioned recently on my blog, I walk to work, rain or shine, wind or snow. Whenever people discover that, they pretty much fall from their chair. The walk from my house to work is about 15 minutes…

  41. I go through spats where I am the biking, walking woman, but I live in the big city and traffic congestion is a big problem. As a result people start to drive, bike and walk crazy. After a month of steady walking & biking I always have a close call with a car (even when walking mid block)which scares me back onto public transit.
    I really want my city to build me more safe places to walk and bike.

  42. I would love to be that girl who walks everywhere! It’s an impossibility where I live and work (12 miles away, not gonna work). My favorite thing when I travel is to park the car and walk everywhere.

  43. I love this! We purposely bought out house because it was in a walkable area. It’s funny now that my kids start to cry when we have to take the car somewhere. They’d much rather walk. LOVE. IT.

  44. I hadn’t thought much about it. But you are right, sometimes we’re so caught up on the climb we don’t notice we’ve reached the summit. Something like that. When my husband and I lived in the city, we didn’t own a car. It was great but we didn’t think so at the time. Maria Bamford talks about how she lives in Los Angeles and likes to take the bus. Her sister once called her.
    “Maria, where are you”
    “I’m on the bus!”
    “Oh my G-d! Are You ok?”
    “Yeah.”
    “Do you need me to come and pick u up?”
    “No, I’m on the bus!”

  49. I imagine I am an exception to may rules 🙂

    It seems to me that a lot of our behavior in this is determined both by where we live in this car created country.

    I’ve biked all over my city for fun and chores, although on the bike they didn’t feel like chores!

    I live over three miles from the closest store. I doubt many would walk to that area from my house, I never have although I’ve run well past there often.

    I like driving, especially with the fun car I have 🙂

  50. I lurve this. I long to be a daily walker. I do enjoy walking. I’ve recently given up the dream of being/loving being a runner. It was not for me, and I’m glad I don’t try to fit inside that box anymore.

    But alas, I still…STILL…struggle with the consistency of daily movement.

    I hope to accidentally gain that.

  51. no goals…just my life. Bike commuted for years with a grocery stop and things in my backpack on the way home. (I broke a glass jar of almond butter once while falling backwards over train tracks. Messy.) Ran back a forth to work a few years when I was close enough (four/five miles each way.) Now I have to drive 26 one way-and would cycle if it didn’t involve me being there before the sun rises and interstate travel. It’s a lifestyle. I didn’t have to “become” anything. Just me.

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