How much do I charge?

by

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where the magic happens.

The other night the Child had a meltdown of sorts.

It wasn’t either of our best days, a few misplaced words turned into an explosion of words and only hours later did we both entirely calm down.

(Charming, proving canines are indeed smarter than humans, ran downstairs and “hid” on the couch until all was happy again.)

Later, as we readied for bed, the Child asked if I was angry at her for throwing a fit.

I’m not angry, I responded.

I’m sad you wasted my time as that’s the most valuable thing I have to give.

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the calm after the storm.

A few days later a brand reach out to me about sponsorship.

They asked for a conference call first and I agreed.

90 minutes & no contract later I hung up the phone.

Less than being disappointed, however, I immediately had the same thought I’d had after the Child’s meltdown:

I’m annoyed. They wasted my most valuable commodity: time.

Slowly a theme emerged.

Yes, we require food, shelter and money to live,” I thought. “Yet, in a sense, that’s the easy stuff.

I’m not minimizing the struggle to survive, it just grew clear (hello 45!) the most precious gift I have to give & most valuable “thing” I possess is my time.

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Rachel giving me the gift of her time…

Money could be earned & re-earned (I’ve no fear of hard work. I’ve had whacky jobs through the years. I’ll do what it takes to survive.).

Time? Once it was used up—it was gone.

There’s no way–no matter how much of the money you have–to replace wasted time.

Of course, while time as currency was a new thought for me, others had already captured it perfectly:

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I’ve decided to tweak the Thoreau quote and use as a personal mantra of sorts.

  • When I’ve been asked to bid on a work contract (Why yes $XX might sound a tad high for a bid, yet given the amount of life I exchange for it the rate is *spot on* for me.).
  • When I’ve been asked to volunteer at school (Why yes I can come that day.  I’d love to exchange my time for the experience in the classroom!).

The price of anything is the amount if life you exchange for it.

I’d moved away from the glorification of busy yet hadn’t realized the cost behind everything I choose to do was my time.

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I say this with more regularity now.

I’m frequently asked for advice with regards to freelance writing and professional blogging.

As I adopt my new mantra I’ve learned the answer to how much I charge is, for me, as clear-cut as this:

What I charge for my services is the amount of life it costs me to complete the job.

It’s as simple, complicated and highly personal as that.

Now you.

  • Have you stopped to consider *time* as your most valuable resource?
  • Do you react as I do when your resource is wasted?

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Comments

  1. I’ve always thought I was really good at saying “no.” But in the past few months, I’ve been scurrying around like a chicken with it’s head cut off all because I keep saying “yes.” It’s all things that I like to do and has a purpose but it’s also causing me to unwind a bit. Thanks for the reminder to get back to my no ways.

    • I used to think I was a duck (crazy under water calm on top) but I’ve become a chicken too.

  2. Took my vacation from my avocation to spend TIME with aging parents…I don’t feel it has been stolen from me at all as it’s reciprocally rewarding, although has “cost” me tons of $ to fly here, rent a car, etc. But I can’t put a monitory value on being with them and helping them out.
    My “stolen” time is my drive to work and home-which is close to two hours. I pay the bills in my household so I don’t have the choice of not going to work… So I try to fill it with good music, good talk radio, books on tape so I don’t feel so robbed.

    • Unfortunately, Both my parents are gone. I was the caregiver for both of my parents and would not trade those Priceless moments. Enjoy your time with your parents and when you get tired. Just remind yourself roles have changed and now you have to show the patience and unconditional love they provided to you. Good luck and God Bless, because I know the task is hard!!!!

  5. This is a great reminder – as a mom I feel that I value time more than anything right now…time is truly the most valuable asset in my life..time for the kids, time for the hubby, time for myself, time for fun, time…time…time…forget focusing on the $ and just don’t waste my time…I may be coming back to this post again and again as a reminder to consider time and to look at that ‘no’ image again and again.

  6. I’m not sure it’s a good idea to put the thought into a child’s head that by having to deal with their emotions is a waste of your time…to me, you don’t ever want to give them a reason not come to you with their issues. And yes, I get that fits happen and I know they’re not fun to deal with, but they’re gonna be even bigger in a few years, and about more compelling things. You want to be the one she turns to, right?

  7. YES. In fact, when anyone asks what I want for my upcoming birthday I say “time.” I really just want to spend time with my friends and family. That’s what it’s all about!!
    I think I need to put that quote somewhere I can see it all day long!

  8. Carla, this is amazing. WOW! Thank you. I really needed to read this, and I have been thinking about this for a while now, but had no idea how to bring it up, or if it sounded completely crazy, but you are so right. Time IS our most precious resource, and i feel the same way. I have had situations like this, and it is so hard to know how to spend our time, especially if we are to cherish every moment like we should. Thank you for this.

  9. I get annoyed when it feels like people are wasting my time too, but it’s never my family 🙂 Love spending my time with them!

    • Not me LOL
      When my boys fight and I have to “spend” my time negotiating between them I hate it.
      #truestory

  10. What did your daughter say?
    Did she understand what you meant about the time idea?
    I wonder if my girls could grasp this yet.

  13. I think that I had the realization a while ago that time was just not something that I could get back. I would say that Alex and I being apart and then with his schedule being so ridiculous it just really puts time into perspective–and the fact that we only have so much of it.

  14. So ironic that you posted this today. I also had a similar epiphany yesterday about how I need to start spending my time in ways that are more useful to ME and my children. I waste a lot of time doing things for people who don’t matter (I say that in the nicest way). I tend to be a YES person to EVERYTHING….I need to start reallocating my time to the things that really matter in life.

  15. This is an awesome post! Something we all need to think about more often! I totally agree time is precious!

  20. yes, learned and relearned. time is too fast not to hold onto and value. And I don’t even have kids yet! But I have learned that no amount of PAID work can replace purposeful time with family, community, etc. that alone pays more (within) than money can ever do.

  21. I LOVE THIS. It’s so true…money isn’t everything and it’s really the time you give that means the most. Even when you’re actually considering the numbers of a ‘job’ it’s important to really look at it from the perspective of how much of your life you’re giving up. GREAT reminder. Time really is so precious.

  22. This is a great perspective! I have gotten much less patient with my time being wasted. I have clear priorities and when I feel like someone isn’t respecting my time, I don’t do well, haha! That being said, I probably “waste” more of my own time than anybody external – I’m working on it!

  23. Oh YES. So true.

    This, by the way, is also why I spend my money on things like movers and plumbers and the like – because I don’t want to spend my time doing those things.

    On the other hand, I would SO MUCH RATHER take three times as long to get somewhere by walking than by saving my time and taking a car or bus to a place. Because walking is so worth it to me and I love it.

    It’s good to keep in mind where we want to spend our time… and base our value starting from that if other people want that time.

  24. A great post! Yes, a lesson learned. My biggest prob right now is that I know this but I honestly need the money more than I can say that about time.. still working on this balance…

  25. Yes, to saying “no!” I am going to pin this on my frig–>” What I charge for my services is the amount of life it costs me to complete the job.”

  26. A beautiful reminder to cherish that which we are often robbing ourselves of: time. I’m learning that less is more and my time is valuable. Some people understand while others don’t. I’m perfectly at peace to step away from those opportunities now. 5, 3 and 6 months are far more worth it to me.

  27. Honestly, I think time is THE most important consideration. So yes, if it’s not going to fit well into the time I have available, it’s not going on my plate!

  28. I have slowly been unwinding my volunteer commitments. Thinking the girls will start preschool in the fall, I find I want to guard my time carefully and make sure I’m using it on things I enjoy – in a way I enjoy using my talents – even if those things are responsibilities. So much stress this year from volunteer work. Be gone, I say! And I’ve been letting people know I will be giving up responsibilities unapologetically a la Carla :*)

  31. “Cost” or “value” is relative. It’s relative to need. It’s relative to other investments (emotional investment, self worth, etc). It’s relative to everything else going on in your life economy. I really can’t believe that time is our most valuable commodity. Sometimes it’s love. Sometimes it’s wellness. Sometimes it’s just the ability to put food on the table.

    When we make these choices, whether with our children, our sponsors, or any kind of job situation, it’s not really about time being money. It’s about whether or not we need or want to spend that time, that effort, or some other currency, on whatever is being offered.

    YES, I admit that there are times I tell my kids they’ve wasted my time (like the time they asked me to drive them to the theater and found they’d left their wallets at home). But for the most part, I was really more concerned with the waste of gas resources, and the waste of emotional energy arguing about it on the drive home. Now mind you, I had PLANNED to spend some 3 hours away from home to watch the movie, a purely recreational pursuit, but RESENTED the 20 minutes I spent away from home going no-where.

    What would I have done with that other 20 minutes? Probably the same thing I did with the remainder of the 3 hours I’d planned on: Play Farmville, hang out on FB, and do some reading.

  32. That is why I ignore the suggested rates and charge what is right for me and my audience. If it’s not a good rate/ match for a brand, I get to keep my time.

  33. This is a great reminder. I do get quite frustrated when my time is wasted because I don’t feel like I have enough of it sometimes. I like your little mirror trick too – I, myself, am also working on saying “no” more often.

  34. I’ve been thinking about time lately, and how often I and others say “there’s no time for XX” and while there COULD be time for it, I think we’re really saying that we don’t want to spend it doing that. Time is really tricky because it’s all about priorities, and it’s tough to be honest and decide how you truly want to use it. I like your perspective on this!

  35. Such an important message that I think most of us needed to hear. I never take into account the amount of time I spend doing all the different things that have to be done in a days time. It seems like I am forever saying “I don’t have time.”

  36. THIS post! Yes, time is a valuable resource and I’ve learned to limit time “sucks” by only spending my time with people (fam, friends, potential biz partners, clients, etc) that respect my time and effort. I stopped getting mad at myself and beating myself up for falling victim to time “sucks”. It is going to happen but how I handle it makes all the difference.

  37. As my sister said after we hung up from a radio interview where the host had no clue what she was doing, “that’s an hour of my life I’ll never get back.”

  38. Interesting how our pets can feel our conflicts and give us space, or take some for themselves. How we resolve conflicts can be much more telling about the health of a relationship than the happy times.

    It’s very common for an artist to be asked “How long did it take you to do that?” Most artists avoid the question. One very accomplished one I know says, “All my life!”

    She knows the meaning of time!

  40. As a self-employed person it can be so hard to say no to anything that pays in money or experience or exposure – it’s so important to learn how to focus on the things that are really worth our time and energy or else we become exhausted, and then we’re not self-employed, we’re just answering to a thousand bosses. A great reminder!

  41. I love this… was sent here by the lovely Lindsay of Lindsay’s list… this is the exact reason I had the courage to say NO to doing a second cookbook this summer — while my child is home with me (away from school) and ready to do fun things and go on adventures and love life with mom… rather than sticking her with a babysitter 3 days a week.

  42. I was reminded again of how precious my time is. A good friend (former boss and consulting partner) PERSONALLY referred a potential new client. So I was more than willing to spend some time on the phone, at no charge — usually I limit that to about 15 minutes.

    An hour later, all I’d heard was “I need your help because I don’t know how to do this…” followed by “No, I don’t like that idea. I know better.”

    I finally suggested the client email me to a link of some content that they liked, so I could better understand their needs. (Dick-speak for “Go away and never darken my door again.” Unfortunately, they sent me a link, so I spent another 30 minutes crafting an email with suggestions, links to example, some “how-to” and an offer to send them a proposal for approval.

    After several days, no response. Now I have to tell my friend that the idea crashed and burned.

  45. YES YES YES! I am huge about time and what it means. I’ve come to learn that time is my mot precious gift. If someone is late to a meeting, 90% of the time, I am done with them. Simply because they have disrespected the time that I have. I also have cut back on training because I’ve learned my time is better spent marketing, writing, running the business side of things. it’s a precious commodity!

  47. Yes yes yes. I came across this quote in grad school and it changed the way I look at things. It’s above my desk at work to remind me to not fritter away time on little things, and to make sure that the time I have left here (which is even more precious to me now) isn’t wasted, or frittered away on unreasonable requests form people. It’s also why I make the time to spend with people now more than I ever did before.

  48. YES! I get very annoyed when I feel like my time is being wasted, especially when the person who is wasting my time is the one who set the appointment to see me… Glad to know i’m not the only one. Great post, love it!
    P.S. At age 46, I’ve finally learned to say NO, my kids don’t like but for me, it feels incredible!

  51. I am Queen of Belatedly Realizing I Have Frittered Away Valuable Time!

    My only useful strategy is to not then fritter away even more time beating myself up about it.

  52. In our household we have taken to saying, “Do we have more time, or money, for X?” This really helps us prioritize how we spend our two precious commodities and forces us to balance them. Therefore, FOR US, we have really stopped doing so many DIY projects (ie, housecleaning), so we can DIY our family (ie, camping).

  53. This is such an excellent and important piece of advice. I truly value MY time and when its wasted I get upset. I think this is such and important reminder of our worth.

  54. I used to be a huge people pleaser in my 20s and 30s. Until suddenly I realized I wasn’t really benefiting from saying yes all the time, and guess what? I learned it’s okay to say NO and pick and choose how to spend my time – wish I had learned that long ago though!

    Thanks for your comment on my post about my husband – I will never get over the fact that he won’t tell me I love you anymore. 🙁

  56. I’ve recently turned down a fair number of things because every ask takes time and sometimes it’s just not worth offering up my time to work out the details. I’ll happily give of my time to my kids and their related activities (sitting at orchestra rehearsal as I type this) and sometimes I’ll choose to “waste” my time on frivolous activities, but I get a little crabby when I get stuck in a meeting that takes forever and accomplishes nothing.

  57. the funny thing is the more I’m starting to say no to the “okay” stuff the more the big stuff keeps happening. I feel like it’s the universes way of rewarding me for staying true in a world where so much is fake.

  58. This is something I need to remember and use more – you are right – our time is our most valuable commodity. There are time when I’m helping my high school son with his math and he doesn’t want to focus because he hates math – I tell him that it’s one thing to waste his time but when it starts being my time that is wasted it’s not OK!

  59. I’m worried I have too much of it at the moment. Time, that is. And yet my to-do lists remain undone.

    Such a waste….

    Deb
    PS. Your desk situation doesn’t look very comfy. Is that on purpose?

  60. I used to work in the PR agency setting for a few years as an account manager and then a director. We were so very adamant about tracking every .25 hours of our time to be billed to clients, that it was ingrained on me early on that time is money. Don’t waste it. And if you use it, make sure it’s for a good reason you can write down. 🙂 We are worthy of accounting for all of where we are asked to spend our time. And there’s nothing wrong with that. You’ve got the right mindset, Carla! 🙂

  62. That quote is awesome. I can’t stop and think about all the “stuff” I’ve wasted my time on but rather look at it as time invested in my journey to where I’m at and for good reason. You gave me something to think about for sure moving forward and for that thank you!

  63. I love love love love love this so much. It’s so very true. When I actually sit down and realize how much time it takes me to do certain things and I realize how much of my life I exchange for that “rate,” it helps me put many things in perspective and to say no a lot easier. I don’t like feeling like I’m constantly chasing my tail because “it’s an opportunity!” but it needs to be an opportunity that feels worthwhile to me – yes for the time and also for what I gain from that experience.

  64. The price of anything is the amount if life you exchange for it.

    Perfectly said. I’ve just recently begun working on saying ‘no’ and being more conscious of what I say yes to. It’s a different mind set to adopt, but it’s allowed me to better value my time.

  65. I LOVE this post!!! As i get older and time seems to go so fast, I mean how did I get an 18 year old????? I can see the real value in life and that is my time. I think I am going to start making my decisions based on time, how much of my valuable time will I have to use for XXXX. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom!

  66. Interesting take. I have been saying something similar for years…nobody lays on their death bed wishing that they had more money…they only wish for more time.

  67. I am a morning person and I am just exhausted after a 9 to 5 day so all I was doing after my rush hour commute home was watching TV and eating. I had no energy for anything else. I asked my boss if I could work Noon to 8PM and now I am still out of the house at 5AM but I have all sorts of activities in the morning and I can still get my office work done. When I get home I’m exhausted but it is bed time anyways. Before I was always aware of time passing as I had so little free time. Now I just revel in my freedom to ignore the clock and do what I want at the time of day I have the energy for it.

  68. I work on production, so I am so aware of my time and the cost. When I am working dictations and a doctor is hemming and hawing or when they stop and talk with someone without turning off their recorder – I always shout “you are wasting my time” LOL. I can’t do much about it, though.

  70. You’ll find that many issues relating to payment recur, so it’s a good idea to keep a text file of them all, and when you have enough, make an FAQ. Put it up somewhere, and when someone contacts you, just reply with your FAQ URL.

    Q: Will you write for free, for the exposure?
    A: No.

    And so on.

    But realistically you need to decide what your rates are and disclose them. Think of the person on the other side of the transaction and _his_ time. He doesn’t want to waste his time in a back-and-forth “How much is life worth” dance. He needs a firm number and list of conditions, upon receiving which he can make a decision.

  72. Also, can we talk about these trackbacks, and how they are reposting your blog, in it’s original form, and not getting dinged by google for duplicate content?

  74. Wow nice post love it and as mother its great though l try to make sure that l consider the time l spend all the time n try to focus on whats important for the day…

  75. YESSSSS I know I don’t get many sponsored things because I charge a rate that I feel is worth my time and I’m ok with that. I want to work with partners, which means we both feel great about the exchange.

  76. I love everything about this, and I couldn’t agree more. I’m finding myself very frustrated lately because, as you mentioned, I haven’t been really considering my time in proposals. But when I’m asked to sit in on calls or explain in detail what a company is doing wrong BEFORE a contract has been signed… well, it’s a tactical error I don’t want to make anymore.

    You can’t ever really get that life back, can you? Hope you have a great weekend, and stopping in from SITS Sharefest today 🙂

  77. When brands reach out to me I used to not put a lot of worth on myself or my time and just be happy that they wanted to talk to me. Now that it has been awhile and I know how much time and effort I put into honest reviews, I make sure to ask for what I think that time is worth. Not everyone responds emphatically (or at all) bc there are still people willing to do things for free, but I feel better about knowing that I am asking for what I know I deserve.

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