I dont believe in guilty pleasures.

by

Rory Gilmore

Gilmore? No guilt.

Caution. Life-rant ahead.

I don’t believe in guilty pleasures. If you fucking like something, like it.  Dave Grohl

I never knew I was such a tremendous Dave Grohl fan until I stumbled upon that quote.

Tattoos and trashy television.

Dumbed-down movies and Diet Coke.

I’m a 46-year-old woman who enjoys what I enjoy and refuses to apologize for it.

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carbonation = all pleasure

This is why I’ve come to loathe the phrase guilty pleasure.

For the precise reason Mr. Grohl states far better more bluntly than I could ever get away with.

My days (and dare I assert all of our days) are filled with things I have to do and from which I don’t derive much pleasure.

Awkward small talk with other mothers, math homework fights nights with a 10 year old, pitching and repitching for freelance work–why deprive myself?

The older I get the more it’s begun to annoy me when others foist judgment upon my choices and attach the word “guilty” to activities I’m choosing to make time for in my life.

I’m not busy (banned that word from my vocabulary & replaced with not a priority right now), but I do have forced priorities of roof-over-head, food-on-table and, to my dismay, car-payment-having.

rsz_photo215(1)

Cadbury decadence… absolutely no gooey, guilty center!

On top of it all, I’m supposed to remain true to what someone else arbitrarily thinks is a more high-brow and worthy pursuit than the things I’ve prioritized to enjoy?

Um. No.

I’ve made the choice to save the word “guilty” for times when my actions violate my moral code.

Stealing the 20oz Coke bottle from Walgreens because I’ve finally found one with Carla emblazoned on the front and my wallet is in the car.

Having the Meanie Elementary School Mom whacked because the Child wasn’t invited to her daughter’s birthday party.

This is something, thus far, Switched at Birth has never done.

The things I should supposedly claim to feel guilty for– daydreaming about Tim Riggins, creating a pretend conference call so I can’t drive on field trip day– bring me immeasurable happiness and, yes, feelings of self-care.

These days I’m a pleasure seeker and I see no shame in that.

ahhhh pleasurable Parenthood.

I’d rather plop on my couch with a dinner of popcorn and frozen protein shake than spend time in the kitchen creating and plating a the child is finally asleep! meal-for-one.

The very notion of guilty pleasure is built on the idea there exist black-and-white groupings of things we either should or should not enjoy.

And, ala D-Grohl, I think it’s time we collectively acknowledge the idea’s idiocy.

I don’t believe in guilty pleasures. If you fucking like something, like it.

For the rest of 2016, I’d love to decree the word guilty never be uttered alongside the word pleasure.

Please to consider this my virtual permission slip to _____ (insert your pleasure here) without feeling bad about it, if that helps.

Not that you need my permission.

Because, as Dave says, if you fucking like something –like it.

Right?

end rant.

  • Do you struggle with the notion of guilty pleasures?
  • Or have you already shed the guilt and embraced the pleasure?

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Comments

  2. Love Dave. Love YOU! This is f****** awesome and no more guilty pleasures. I mean seriously, why should I feel guilty about anything that doesn’t harm anyone else? I have enough guilt in my life about real things. Rock on.

  4. Ugh I don’t believe in them either.
    The other morning I was telling a friend about my night before which included lots of TV when she teased me about it being my guilty pleasure I flatly told her nope just pleasure.

  5. Doesn’t guilty pleasure just mean liking something you know isn’t really great quality but for whatever reason still appeals to you? Like boxed mac & cheese made with orange powder, or a really lowbrow TV show like America’s Funniest Home Videos that allows you to just zone out and laugh at people even when it’s kind of mean to do that? Or when a college lit professor admitted to the class that she liked reading Sidney Sheldon and Danielle Steele novels. A guilty pleasure is something you’re slightly ashamed to admit that you like, specifically when you have access to “better” — e.g., home made pasta dish with Gruyere, highbrow investigative journalism/documentaries, Melville, Hawthorne, Joyce, Vonnegut…I think you kinda missed the boat here. Guilt is used humorously, not judgmentally…to poke fun at oneself, as in “I’m an intelligent, educated, proper person who “should” only watch independent art films according to my lifestyle/persona/social or professional circle and I DO watch and like those…but I really freakin’ enjoy vulgar Jim Carrey comedies, they are my guilty pleasure”…it’s not criminal or moral guilt, it’s a humorous expression. It’s admitting that you like things that are LOW EFFORT and probably not really good for your physical and or intellectual growth. And I’m a longtime Grohl fan…but what he means is own the crass or simple side of yourself just as much as you own the accomplished/socially correct side.

    • YES YES YES CAM. I totally agree and that’s what I’m saying as well. Like what you like. Own what you love. And really—LOW EFFORT may not be as good for us but can we be all growth all the time? 🙂
      No guilt. All pleasure.

  7. I am right there with you sister! No guilt! I’m going to credit age for the guilt shedding. Life is simply too short to focus on the “shoulds”.

  8. LOVE this! I like to read fluff novels. They are a small escape at the end of the day. I often feel like I should be doing something else during that time, but I’m sure my husband doesn’t feel at all guilty for the hour of tv he watches every single night before bed. From now on, I’m going to embrace it.

    Luckily, I never feel guilty about my love of craft beer. That would just be wrong…

  9. My guilty pleasure used to be watching “Cops” — why do they always consent to a search and confess?! Interesting topic for Ash Wednesday. It’s one reason I never was inspired to give up something for Lent – I think it’s more important to make more time for God/prayer/service than to give up Girl Scout Cookies.

  11. I love that Dave Grohl quote. Because I’m done apologizing for the Nickelback on my running playlist, my glass (or 2) of wine with dinner, my post meal chocolates.

    Life’s too short! Enjoy everything. In moderation of course…

  12. I’ve never really thought about this before. I’m not sure I feel guilty either. Perhaps the term is just not right for everyone.

  13. I love it!
    I’m not guilty about anything, I want it, I have it – then do better tomorrow!

    I think this phrase means indulging in the trashy too, and not caring – kind of laughing at oneself. Like watching The Bachelor (which is no longer a pleasure but an annoyance because it’s that pathetically bad! I will no longer stoop).

    LOL ‘d at you stealing a Diet Coke at Walmart

  14. Right there with you. I gave up guilty pleasures a while ago. If I like something, then I like it. Other people’s opinions on what I like are not my business and I’m not feeling guilty over it. Not even my Buffy obsession.

  15. Growing up in a Jewish family (I’m sure it’s the same in many others) guilt was a popular as breathing air. So getting rid of it has been a lifelong battle. I love this post! LOVE, Carla.

  16. The term “guilty pleasure” is for people who try to maintain an aura of cool. It’s also used as an excuse to step outside conformity (and not be judged).

    You like what you like and, in the end, isn’t that what matters?

  17. You make an excellent point! I definitely struggle with this and tend not to do things only for pleasure sake. At least not enough things, that is! When I ask myself why not all that comes up is that uncomfortable feeling that I “shouldn’t” for some reason. I need to reevaluate since lately sleep is feeling like a guilty pleasure.

  18. I couldn’t agree with this more! For years I tried to force myself to read certain books, watch certain movies etc just because they were on the top lists. Now I’ve found that I enjoy those “important” movies and books so much more if I balance them with the ones that bring me joy!

  19. While i’ve mostly embraced what i like, i haven’t thought of it this way. If i like it, i will like it. If it’s not really so good for me, i will like it in moderate amounts. If i can’t stick to moderate amounts, then it may be an addiction, and needs rethinking.

  20. I definitely agree. Attaching “guilty” onto things is bad for me bc it makes me feel like I am keeping secrets or doing something that I should be ashamed about. This was such a huge thing that led my life out of control that now if I want something, I want it, will embrace it, and will enjoy it. Great post!

  23. I’ve used the phrase but I can’t say I can summon up the give-a-crap to actually feel guilt over something so trivial as my music, TV, or food choices. That’s crazy. And I do popcorn and a protein shake sometimes as a meal – if I throw a salad in there or some veggies it’s pretty much a balanced meal!

  26. I love this. And you. And Dave Grohl.
    Seriously, though, I am going to quit using the phrase now. Just like “cheat meal” it has NO place in our vocabularies!
    Do what you love – no questions asked.

  27. Ah, and you quoted my Rock N Roll Boyfriend. My not-at-all-secret celebrity crush. And for the record, I guess i don’t really believe in “guilty” pleasures either… my license plate since I’m 19 years old (an unbeLIEVEably long time) has been “NORGRTS”.

    So I’m with you and Dave – F*** THAT!

  28. On a related note, I believe if you really want something you should go all in. So, if you crave ice cream, don’t eat the cheap or “low-fat” stuff. Get the really yummy, authentic kind. Likewise with donuts. I don’t eat them often, but when I do, I go for the warm, fresh almost homemade kind from the bakery. And I’m not going to feel guilty about it at all.

  29. You know I am with you!!! NO cheat – only TREAT! NO GUILT when I have a threat even if it is not my scheduled cookie day!!! 🙂

    I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO with you! I have some secrets I am saving for if I ever write a book OR I have a ghost writer write it for me.. things I did because I was denying myself too much in my younger years, YUP, I have kept them hidden all these years just in case! 🙂

  30. I have five tattoos and am contemplating a sixth. Trashy TV is my go-to. The trashier the better. And I’m always, and I mean ALWAYS, down for a dumbed-down movie. I think all day for goodness’ sakes. I really, really (did I mention really?) do not want to hang out on my sofa pondering the intricacies of some convoluted plot, AND try to remember all the details from week to week. Nope. Too much work. My especial favorite (and I refuse to be guilty about it) are stupid teenage movies. Maybe I’m trying to relive my Fast Times at Ridgemont High youth, which is far behind me now. Many thanks for writing this post; it needed to be said. Also, now I’m a Dave Grohl fan too, if for nothing else than that quote!

  32. now that I think about it I definitely use this term! But I don’t think there is any real guilt behind my favorite TV show or candy…why spend the time being guilty about something you enjoy? Spot on. As always.

  34. I have been ‘guilty’ of using the term ‘guilty pleasure’ to describe my recent penchant for watching multiple episodes of Grey’s Anatomy during the afternoon when my children are at school.

    Not because I feel guilty (’cause I don’t), just because I honestly hadn’t given a second thought to the connotations of the phrase. Thanks for the reminder to pay closer attention to the language we use 🙂

  35. I’m with ya there! I refer to things as guilty pleasures sometimes, but I never actually feel guilty about them–I like what I like! <3

  36. I don’t think I have ever put those words together in my head nor have acted upon them.

    I grew up in the era where the phrase de jour was “If it feels good, do it” and “Love the one you’re with”.

    If it feels right, by all means take part and pleasure. If not I do not partake.
    I go with my gut.

  37. I agree 100%! Why does anything have to be “guilty”? Why can’t it just be moderation?

    Just like how I don’t like the term “cheat meal” or “Cheat day” like food is bad and bingeing one day a week or one meal a week is a healthy way to look at things. Food shouldn’t be good or bad or treated as punishment and then rewarded as a binge.

  39. Guilty Pleasures for me… If you can even call them guilty = Salmon Skin, Zevia Soda Drinks (those zero calorie/stevia sweetened drinks)… And maybe my “worst” one … Sugar-Free chewing gum. You know, gotta tame the oral fixation some how! HA HA AH!

  40. This is just what I needed to read this morning!!! Absolutely embrace those things you love, even if your family tease you mercilessly for watching Anaconda. Again.

  41. Hmm, this is making me rethink my boycott on diet fountain drinks, something I love, but all the “healthy” folks tell me it is not good for me….that fizzzz, maybe I should just indulge every now and then.

  42. Good for you. I hate the term guilty pleasures. I don’t think anyone should be made to feel bad, or less, because they like something.

  43. I used to feel guilty about spending an entire day in the weekend on my butt. I felt “pressured” to go out and DO more active things because it seems like a bunch of people around me do, but I’m learning to embrace it 🙂

  44. I agree with you completely! Depriving yourself will inevitably lead to a binge! Might as well enjoy what you love and do it all in moderation! I love magazines and every so often, I just pick one up! I can’t buy them all the time….pricey little devils…..but as long as I get my fix when I’m feeling the urge, I would wipe out our bank accounts! 😉
    I love your blog by the way!! SO GOOD!! If you get the chance, I’d be honored if you’d check out mine at KansanKettleBelle.com! Thanks for being awesome!

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