What *Ive* learned from summer swim team.

by

swimming pool

It’s neither good nor bad we aren’t a sports family—it just is.

Most sports happen during the school year when we (the royal) struggle to keep up with academics. In addition, during any free moments after school, there are other activities she’d rather do.

And we move as a family.

A lot.

Recently, however, the Child changed her mind and announced she wanted to try swim team.

I immediately agreed it was a great idea.

Not only was it nice to see her excited (I’m always game for healthy stuff *she* initiates) we’d just joined the Dell JCC and I was convinced hanging out up there more would find me my people.

I was thrilled to have a reason to be there 5 nights a week as it seemed a far better idea than lurking in the weight room asking strangers:

Are you my people?

I thought she’d have fun.

I hoped I’d make a few new friends.

I ended up learning more than I’d anticipated about my double digit sidekick.

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She thinks quickly on her feet.

JCC Piranhas

(grainy photo thanks to the wee hour o’the morn.)

Sure, we plan ahead and sign her up for heats. Yes, we prepare and assemble her stuff the night before.

Always, come meet day, things switch, shift and change.

Summer swim team has afforded me the opportunity to watch her in action as she problem solves.

I’ve been able to see her find herself a little lost, use context clues, and problem solve. That’s a big deal around here.

She’s even more resilient than I’d thought.

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(goggles slip mid-race? start off doing wrong stroke? no worries!)

Once upon a time she was signed up for a medley when she’d never raced more than a length.

Once upon the same time she wasn’t aware of this fact even as she dove into the water.

She figured it out mid-swim, didn’t stop and climb out mid-race, swam and swam and swam, announced her displeasure when she was finished and moved on.

She’s not one to ruminate. (I might have ruminated.)

She’s not one to flog that dead equine to the parent who made the error. (I might have flogged.)

She didn’t waste time looking backward. She focused on the windshield and not the rear-view mirror.

She’s happy with her best.

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Even though it’s a competition, even though she’d love her team to win, she simply shows up and does her best.

It would never occur to her to compare herself to anyone else. In fact, she’s like her mama, she doesn’t compare herself to herself either!

She knows if she shows up & gives whatever her 100% is that day—it’s enough.

Yes, she’s happy if she did better than the last meet. And if she doesn’t? She doesn’t beat herself up over it.

She looks forward. To the next practice. To the next meet. To the next opportunity to give her best.

She’s discovered her stress reliever.

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(most anything repeated can be meditation.)

Swim team began at the end of school when we were ready for unstructured play, yet teachers insisted on assigning homework.

Afternoons were hectic and, as we walked into practice one evening, she said to me:

You know how if you have a hard day…like a big test or something…and you go into the water and it just wraps around you and calms you? Swim team is like that for me.

Swim team is like that for me.

Her words felt like a mic drop of sorts.

She’d taken what I’d viewed as “only” an athletic pursuit and and shown me how much more it was.

Swim team provided me opportunities to see her confidence and resilience in action and it also gave her the chance to learn a crucial life skill: how to self-soothe (AKA how to lick her forearms).

It remains to be seen if we’ve changed into a sports family.

I don’t yet know if she’s changed into a full-on sports kid.

Only weeks into the season, however, I do know I’ve learned practically as much about my child as I had in the decade prior.

And what I’ve learned makes me smile.

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Eat my BUBBLES!

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Comments

  1. Yay!!! I used to swim growing up and it for me to was a huge stress reliever and I still have friends from my team…I loved looking forward to the summer season! So glad though you aren’t a ‘sports family’ you are enjoying her enjoying it!

  2. I cannot tell you how happy all of this makes me!!! I have LOVED seeing her smiling face under that cap (and sometimes in goggles) on FB and clearly how JOYFUL she is to be swimming!!!! I cannot pick out just one thing in this post – the learning, the not holding onto the past, the being ok with the best she has in the day – OMG just amazing. I want to hug her and then swim laps with her. Awesome, awesome, awesome! #eatmybubbles

  3. Sports teaches us so much–about ourselves, about our family, about life. I have no doubt that my mom learned quite a bit about me and my drives and resiliency from all of my years of sports camp!

  4. We are not a sports family either, but I’ve been noticing how my twins aren’t as resilient as I would hope by 11.
    Maybe ther answer is trying out a sport? You may have convinced me for this fall.

  5. I love how she is competitive enough to want to win but competes mostly with herself.
    I’m 50 and haven’t found how to lick my forearms yet LOL

  7. I love that she’s found something she loves where she — and you — can see new ways in which she is awesome!

  8. I love this! Of course as a high school running coach I believe in the power of sports to do all of the above and more, so it’s not a surprise. I love that she loves it and that she has discovered a new experience that challenges and engages her.

  9. Hooray! Bigger Girl wasn’t a great swimmer and swim team was very difficult for her, but she stuck out the season and saw that she could get through difficult times. Little Girl loved swim team and was a great swimmer and learned a lot the years she participated.

    You don’t have to be a sports family to get a lot out of participating in one team sport.

    By the way, you don’t have to go to Hawaii for surfing, i think Galveston would be a lot closer for you just as the Alabama/Florida Gulf Coast is closer for us, and you can surf there, too. Although i do agree i’d love to go to Hawaii!

  10. I love this so much! E loves swim too, but has also started talking nearly nonstop about karate, so I think we’ll try that in the fall. I do think swim can be super calming, and a nice break for kids who are used to a lot going on in their own heads.

  11. Love, love, love! My daughter did swim for one season and it was a good experience (and great workout). Her “main” sports thing was gymnastics. I’m not sure I did as good a job at staying an arm’s length away and letting her problem solve — I may have been a *bit* helicopter-y. But I think about our days as a gym family every day. I loved it. And it did teach her oh so much. Glad your daughter is having such a great experience!

  12. I know I’m in a zone today, but I’m kind of crying reading this. I love it so, and I want my child to have similar experiences. G-d, Carla, you’re an incredible mom. You give her the freedom to find her way and hold her up when she needs it. Amazing. I adore you both!

  13. Way to go you duo! I too find swimming a form of meditation and relaxation, but I know I could not have articulated it as well as your daughter when I was her age. At her age I knew I just liked to be in the pool.

  15. I love “eat my bubbles” it made me smile! And good on her for finding something she loves and can improve in over time. Aussies are all swimmers but my kids didn’t do swim team because them always trained REALLY early in the morning and it just wasn’t going to happen – 5.30am is still night time in my book!

  16. My eldest daughter is similar. Always satisfied with her performance and never makes comparisons.

    So did you find your people there??

  17. “She’s happy with her best”..priceless! Great going Carla, you’re doing a phenomenal job, raising her. I wish I’d put as much thought into raising my kids.

  19. That’s so sweet Carla. You are such an amazing mom. I’ve turned my daughter on to your blog as she begins her parenting journey with twins. I know she could learn so much from you.

  22. As a former swim team member I love this – brings me back to my summers spent at the pool! and she is so wise beyond her years. I am super competitive and was from an all too early age (I still like to “win”) but competitive or not sports can teach you so many life lessons.

  23. I introduced my daughter to everything at this age (swimming, gymnastics, soccer, softball, running, dance) with NO PRESSURE- she announced one day she wanted to go back and take dance lessons and danced (still does) for a long long time…her happy place.
    I “get” the meditation in the water thing though… 4:30 a.m. swims =active meditation and gets me ready for the day!

  24. What an awesome experience, Carla.
    Kids are amazing!
    There’s so much negativity out there, so much pressure on the little ones, it’s awesome when they find support in sports.

  25. Love, love, love this! Swim team was the only sport I ever did well at, and being in the water fed my spirit the way it seems to for your daughter. What a great learning experience for the both of you 🙂

  26. Love. All of it. Some people make it into their 40s without finding that thing that wraps around you and makes the bad day better. Some people find very unhealthy things to mimic that. I love that’s found it already and it’s such a good thing. You guys make me smile. 🙂

  27. Maybe you are a sports family after all. I learned tons o’ lessons from my daughter’s participation in soccer, volleyball, and pretty much all other sports she tried over the years. It took me too long to learn to butt out though. Kudos to you and the tornado

  28. She is so wise! I love her thoughts on how swimming helps her settle down. It’s so powerful to use movement in that way but I don’t think most kids make the connection. And not comparing to others or herself, what are your parenting secrets? 🙂 That is my goal for my girls too.

  29. Good for her!!

    I was a “great” swimmer at camp, but when I went out for my high school team, I learned what good swimmers really were. I still was on the team for one year, and wow, was it hard work! It’s a great skill to have. Really, there is no excuse for not knowing how to swim.

  30. Awww. I wasn’t a sports kid growing up (due to a combination of health issues + lack of interest), but as I watch my younger cousins get extremely excited about gymnastics and soccer accomplishments, I kind of wish I could go back and experience it.

    And that thing that wraps around you and makes bad days better… even if it’s not always swimming, I hope she always has that. That’s a very valuable thing.

  32. This is great! It’s nice that she’s learned how to relieve stress…such an important life skill! Also awesome that you’re so supportive of what she wants to do and are there every step of the way 🙂

  33. I didn’t do a lot of sports as a kid! Volleyball was the only one, and that started in fifth grade. Music was more my jam, but now that I think about, sports taught me A LOT about myself. How to stay calm in times of stress, how to work with my team. I love this: “looking at the windshield instead of the rear view mirror”.

  35. I had to make the rare comment on a blog today b/c I am an 11-yr. mom of summer swimmers. I am at the other end of the spectrum, almost begging the daughter to give it up already! I’d like a season of less structure (b/c soccer dominates yr. round here) and now that the older child is no longer part of swim team, it would be lovely to have Sat. mornings free of working concession stands, making small talk with parents, and timing lanes. All that said, however, I am glad your family is having a great experience with it, and most importantly, getting valuable takeaways!

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