my success does not equal your failure.
For decades I’ve beaten to death the notion there’s room enough for us all to rock.
For close to 17 years (!) I’ve shared online how one woman’s success does not equal another woman’s failure.
What is a scarcity mindset?
Scarcity mindsets create trade-off mindsets. If we have/achieve ____ then we cannot simultaneously possess/experience _____.
Scarcity mindsets tell us there will never be enough (money, time, joy…).They insist we guard what we have as it will run out.
Scarcity mindsets originate from a place of lack (I don’t have enough. I need to find/hoard more) and stagnate there mired in a place of fear.
Scarcity mindsets are exhausting.
This mindset puts us on the defensive (“Gotta hold on tightly to what I have”), it lies to us and tells us we’re incapable of making/having more (all decisions begin to stem from that place) and, instead of creating excess, a scarcity mindset conspires to make us stuck.
If not scarcity then what?
Id slipped into a mindset of lack in a few areas of my life.
While I could have chosen to view this as a natural reaction to shift in life circumstances—scarcity was not a response I was OK embracing long-term.
I believed in abundance in nature.
I didn’t question abundance with regards to success.
I needed to remind myself abundance exists everywhere even when, in the most literal of financial of ways, it appears to not.
Seize personal responsibility.
Scarcity is blame talk. Scarcity is victim speak. Scarcity is wanting to make someone else responsible for how we’re feeling and send all our energy in that negative direction.
I’ve done this. I’m done doing this.
Shit happens. We make choices. We may even look back and think Huh. A different choice might have worked better back there. Regardless, we need to take responsibility for our lives.
When we have an abundance mindset we consistently remind ourselves we’re only as far from the life to which we aspire as our very next choice.
Ask How may I contribute?
This shift has been the most challenging mindset for me to appropriate and yet simultaneously the most life-altering.
We get when we give. Service is the rent we pay for living. I believe these things wholeheartedly. I was not conducting myself this way when it came to my world of work (thankfully in relationships I’d already grasped this).
I no longer show up for anything work-related with an attitude of What can I get out of this call/meeting/experience but instead with the mindset of What do I have to contribute here?
Remember abundance is not simply money.
If abundance were only about money there would exist a clear definition around precisely what an abundance of cash/a scarcity of wealth is.
Spoiler alert: There isn’t.
Abundance is about how you choose to relate to what you do or do not have.
Abundance a vague and general attitude and perspective and this is a great thing.
This means wherever you are in this moment, whether it’s happily debt-free or saddled with loans and credit card billd, you can choose to lead an abundance filled life.
This choice may mean surrounding yourself with new people, overhauling your attitude, or even radically shifting how you interact with everything around you—but can quite literally happen in a moment.
Identify desires…and release them.
This mindset shift has been challenging for me. First, even though I’m not goal-centric by nature, goals are an easy way to define if we are living a successful life. As a result, in order to attract abundance, I needed to reframe the way I set my goals and created my vision board.
Gone is my mantra of Goals are dreams with timelines. In its place will be an as of yet uncreated personal catchphrase to remind me of the importance of feelings and of releasing attachment to the outcome of what I seek.
Possessing an abundance mindset will mean I have the ability to find positives in situations which, on the surface, appear to be losses. It’s the concurrent (and oxymoronic) reminder I’m lucky and there exists no luck. It’s living in the silver-lining even when it seems my wants haven’t been fulfilled.
I’m a work in progress with regards to abundance.
I’m reminding myself when I change the way I look at things the things I look at change…slowly.
When I feel the pull of old habits I pause and focus all my attention on the most abundant thing around me: Air. Oxygen.
I stop, I breathe, I re-frame, I try again.
- Do you find yourself more naturally pulled toward an abundance or a scarcity mindset?