4 ways stressing out actually helps us!

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I’ve spent a great deal of time the past few months focusing on seeking silver-linings.

I’ve chosen to discover the good in situations no matter how the scenarios initially appear on the surface.

The thing is, I’d be lying if I didn’t also admit life feels stressful right now.

Nothing major, nothing earth shattering, but stressful to me nonetheless.

Being who I am, when I found myself consistently unable to locate comfort in my life-frazzle, I knew a change was needed. I shifted my mindset and became committed to eradicating it.

To eliminating allll the stress.

I invested so much time and energy in my effort to avoid feeling stressed I caused myself a whole lot more angst in the process!

A fact which was never, ever my intent.

It was time to pause, step back and re-examine how I approached pressures in my life.

Amount + Attitude = Key.

I returned to #wycwyc. I reminded myself too much of anything (even positive stuffs!) isn’t good.

I reacquainted myself with the idea we control what we choose to label as ‘bad.’ I could harness the power of stress to work for rather than against me.

I needed to embrace my frazzle—not fight it.

I needed to finesse amounts where I could and not solely focus on worry-eradication.

I needed to dance with angst.

Good stress helps us create positive momentum.

“Good stress” is a certain type of stress for sure, but it’s also the way we choose to approach the feeling in general.

Stress becomes more ‘good’ than ‘bad’ when we possess confidence we can handle what life throws our way versus living in the margins/viewing ourselves as consistently overwhelmed.

I’d unknowingly harnessed the power of stress in this fashion throughout my life.

In college (where I’d procrastinate/leave the majority of coursework until the final week of the semester) what I viewed as ‘good stress’ propelled me forward toward that A grade I desired.

More recently, as a freelance writer, looming deadlines motivated me to panic and kick ass in a way I would not if given an open-ended due date.

Stress demands I learn and grow and, as a result, I rise to the occasion.

Negative stress teaches us to be resilient & problem solve.

For the most part categorizing stress as negative is a result of our perception of situations. That said, whether the stress we experience is categorically negative or not it can still work for not against us.

When we consciously choose to confront stressful situations head-on (no matter our initial trepidation) and conquer them we gain crucial skills for the next time we encounter similar stressors.

Stress magnifies everything including what’s important to us. Stress, even the negative variety, serves as a reminder we care. While encountering negative stressors can feel scary they are simply a sign to be still, listen to what our brains and bodies tell us, and problem solve accordingly.

Short-term stress boosts immunity.

Short-term stress, unlike chronic stress, sparks our fight or flight feelings. This bodily response, a mobilization of resources lasting minutes or hours, also stimulates immune activity. Short bursts of stress improves alertness, performance and boosts memory. It can seem counter-intuitive, but short bouts of stress actually improves our brain power.

We can’t savor the stress-free if we haven’t experienced opposite.

So trite, right? If we don’t know the hard times we can’t truly know the good times! type stuff. And yet? It’s true. Experiencing bouts of stress (good or bad) reminds us to savor the frazzle-free days when we have them. Stress-filled periods highlight the gift and importance of thoroughly embracing/enjoying moments which we might otherwise take for granted. Stress, in its own wonky way, serves to remind us of the ease in life.

Keeping firmly in mind my re-commitment to Wayne Dyer I’ve made the conscious choice to reframe my stress-thoughts:

I AM…stressed and it’s a really good thing.

And you?m

  • Are you paralyzed by stressful emotions?
  • Are you able to harness the power of the frazzle and make it work for you?

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Comments

  4. I definitely need a bit of stress in my life, in the way that you talked about writing deadlines. I also like challenges, some of which also stress me. That said, I am aware that I really need to cut down on the negative stress, most of which I think I actually put on myself, argh! It’s a fine line, I tell ya!

  5. I love that you can put a positive tag on stress Carla – you do it better than I do. I’m busy trying to reduce it in my life – I don’t want to learn from it, I just want to give it the boot out the door and be more mellow and less bothered by things.

  6. I find that I choose good stress as well. I need deadlines, schedules, and challenging goals to thrive. Sometimes I want to go run away from it all but remembering that I choose all this really helps!

  7. I’m going to disagree on ONE aspect only of this:

    “For the most part categorizing stress as negative is a result of our perception of situations”

    Perception is something that can be changed. Reality can not. Sane, healthy people can’t just let go of potentially dangerous situations. Think of the people of Florida, and the stress they must feel over the impending arrival of one of the largest storms on record (Irma). I don’t think too many people are thinking “well, if my home is destroyed, I’ll finally get that walk in closet I desired”.

    Stress DOES make us resilient, whether long term or short term, it can also do a lot of damage for those who are ill equipped to deal with their situation. And while I do think there are people out there who think “I have nothing to wear to this big interview tomorrow” is catastrophic (and THAT’S a perception problem), I think there are enough REAL catastrophic events going on that a lot of our stress is NOT mere perception.

    The other part of all this is that stress is cumulative. Anyone experiencing stress over Irma, and Trump, and anti-Semitic or racist activities in their neighborhood, or the possibility (if you live in San Francisco) of being in range of a North Korean warhead, will find themselves already near the tipping point.

    When things were REALLY rough (about 15 years ago ) and the girls were acting out, I used to tell them, “my stress threshold before (snapping/ blowing a blood vessel, totally losing it ) is here (holding my hand about a foot above my head) and I’m already to here (lowering my hand about 6 inches). Don’t make up the difference.” While they knew I was just expressing my frustration, there is also an element of truth to that. The BEST thing to do sometimes is to be able to separate and manage the little stresses so that the big ones don’t put you past the tipping point.

    If you can take one straw at a time off the camel’s back before the next one lands, you may still have an overloaded camel, but not one with a broken back.

  8. I am not a fan of stress. I understand what you are saying and I see how calling and identifying your stress can work. I like to take chunks out of what is causing me stress and conquer a bite size of it at a time.

  10. Stress (or drama) seems to be something follows my family around…Maybe that’s a normal thing for every family though? Anyway, stress is something I feel like I deal with on an hourly basis, especially with 3 young kids. But, I think one of the biggest things about dealing with stress really is the way you look and react to things. Realizing what you can control and what you can’t and have to deal with is a big thing!

  11. I am filled with stress & never been good with it for sure – not sure if this helps me or not because it does become overwhelming at times. I know you get it.

    I try to think of others that are going thru some of this horrible crap out there & refocus but bills are bills & I get so stressed especially at my age….

    I hope you are OK!!!!

  12. I definitely needed to read this to remind myself about having the “bad” to really enjoy the good. It reminds me of the Disney movie about emotions and how there truly cannot be highs without lows but sometimes, I kinda want to find out…:-)

  14. Wow Carla – I have never ever thought of stress in that way. I’m in Houston and we’ve dealt with Hurricane Harvey and my daughter & 2 grandkids moving in with us the same week. No flooding, but stressful none the less. I like the idea of reframing how you think about the stressors in your life. Great post.

  15. I am trying to eliminate the self induced stress in my life. Imbpretty even keeled right now but I really don’t want anything to come along and upset my zen. It’s silly….i stress about being stressed.

  16. My anxiety leads me to react disproportionately to my stressors, but it’s something I’m working on and DO believe that stress can be a good thing. I often work better under pressure, so that’s sort of an example of using stress to my benefit.

    Have you read The Upside of Stress by Psychologist Kelly McGonigal? It’s on my “to read” list (my therapist recommended another book she wrote) but I did watch her TedTalk on stress and found the biology of it to be fascinating! You should look it up 🙂

  17. I am convinced that stress caused my Thyroid condition (Grave’s). Raising a toddler and working (outside the house for 8-10 hours a day), trying to find the ever-changing child care, and balancing a caseload of over 60 kids in public schools plus all that goes with that (meetings, paperwork, etc.) put me over the edge. I had no choice. I was the “paycheck” and wage earner so that bills and mortgage could be paid. Upside- since then everything feels so easy and stressless.
    Perspective!

  18. Carla hi its a very common problem but no body want to discuss it thank you so much for this article by these information everyone can feel relax thanks a lot

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