Back in graduate school (shout-out to you Masters in Counseling Psych I’m not using!) in order to be certified to *lead* counseling groups we had to participate in group sessions.
It was then I realized (the super obvious notion of) even helpers need help.
Even mentors need to be mentees.
Even coaches need *coaches.*
Flash forward 20+ years and, when I hit a ok. so I know what I’m doing TODAY but where is this path headed? moment, I knew precisely what to do.
I turned to a life-path carver (AKA coach) of my own.
A few weeks ago we had our first skype session during which he said (following what felt like a dramatic pause):
What I hear you describing is BRAZEN.Β You’re brazen.Β What does brazen mean to you?
He posed the question in that inimitable way of all good life-path-creator-helpers:
He didn’t want my thoughts immediately—he wanted me to mull.
He wanted me to mentally chew on the word in the same way Charming loves UP his PinkPuppy girlfriend until I settled upon a “personal” definition.
And masticate I did.
I pondered various interpretations:
adjective
1. boldly shameless
2. unrestrained by convention
3. marked by audacityverb
1. to face and overcome boldly
2.to make (oneself) bold or brash
I realized–although I initially giggled when I heard the word—BRAZEN captures what I live day-to-day and what I strive to teach my daughter.
To me living brazenly is:
- Putting myself FIRST. BOLDLY. It’s the knowledge if I don’t take care of my needs before “doing unto others” & slap on my oxygen mask first I’m unable of caring for other people in my life.
- Owning it. I work my ass off. I’m not really just “lucky.” I’m absolutely grateful and possess no arrogance–yet I don’t pretend simply because we women are supposed to purport not to know our worth.
- Flyinging my FREAK FLAG. It’s waving that thing because it’s who I authentically am and *not* for theΒ
shock valuesake of flying a flag.
- Boldly do unto others. Serving others.Β Celebrating others.Β Shining the light on others. As I blog and as I live.
I’m brazen (quite frankly–who knew?).
I’m blogging and living as a wayΒ to invite others to live BRAZENLY alongside me.
Today, however, we’re starting back at the beginning.
At the start.
I ask you to share with me:
What does BRAZEN mean to you?
Kristina Walters @ Kris On Fitness says
February 10, 2014 at 2:30 amBrazen to me is living fearlessly out loud.
misszippy says
February 10, 2014 at 3:32 amBrazen I think, has sometimes had a negative connotation, undeservedly so. I think brazen means fearlessly grabbing life and living it to the fullest.
Izzy says
February 10, 2014 at 3:38 amLOVE THIS!!
Brazen does get a bad rap and I like the idea of you taking that away.
Jessica @EatSleepBe says
February 10, 2014 at 4:17 amTo me it means unwaveringly bold. And it’s a great word for you!
Coco (@Got2Run4Me) says
February 10, 2014 at 4:26 amBrazen is a great word. I think of boldy challenging convention to do what you think is right. (I also think of “brazen hussy” but that’s more of a reflection of the literature I read in high school!)
Carla says
February 10, 2014 at 4:30 amTHANK YOU FOR SAYING THAT π
I didnt wanna…uh…prejudice the jury (ooh lawyer joke!!) but I thought that too π
Jen says
February 10, 2014 at 4:28 amI’d say brazen had a negative connotation for me before reading your blog. But I love that t-shirt so much (unapologetically myself) and wonder if perhaps I was the one making brazen negative? Me and good old society. Because being brazen means you’re causing trouble. You’re a bad girl. But maybe causing trouble means you’re actually a good girl — good and smart; good and brave; good and unapologetic!
Heidi @BananaBuzzbomb says
February 10, 2014 at 4:30 amPrior to this I would’ve said brazen had a negative connotation, but you made me stop and think. Like so many things in life we are often quick to think….yet not really think. Even when it comes to words. Great food for thought.
Carol says
February 10, 2014 at 4:31 amI thought/think Brazen means bold in a not good sense, but really like the notion of seizing that and taking it back.
Fits you and I love the initial image.
Jacqueline Carly says
February 10, 2014 at 1:14 pmLOOOOVE. IT.
To me it means:
BING! BAM! POW! HERE. I. AM. (MUTHA EFFERS)!!
Seriously! (No disrespect intended, sometimes I just like to curse :)) I’ve known you for about 8 years now, and you have been unapologetically you since day one. I’m so grateful for that, as I am to call you friend.
Brazen? FRICK YES! And don’t ever, ever stop!
mimi says
February 10, 2014 at 4:36 amDoing what is right, even when others think it’s wrong.
Angela @ Happy Fit Mama says
February 10, 2014 at 4:39 amI think brazen means bold, ballsy and not taking no for an answer. Nothing wrong with that!
Carol says
February 10, 2014 at 4:42 amAlso I love the notion of BRAZENLY DOING UNTO OTHERS.
That gives me chills because I can think of brazen as more selfish moves and actions.
Carla says
February 10, 2014 at 8:07 amI do agree with so many who’ve said it is normally a negative for for them and, to my mind, more a negative word for a TOO STRONG WOMAN.
Anyone else?
Jenny says
February 10, 2014 at 10:14 amTotally agree!!! I’d rather be a brazen woman than a meek one!
lindsay Cotter says
February 10, 2014 at 5:00 ami have never heard this word and now i am fascinated by it. It feels bold and freeing. Wow… similar to what i think of you. <3 that's a good thing.
Nettie says
February 10, 2014 at 5:18 amI like the idea of making brazen positive.
Strong women unite.
Jamie @ Rise.Run.Mom.Repeat. says
February 10, 2014 at 5:20 amI’ve always thought Brazen to have a negative tinge to it….but the way you describe it…not negative at all.
In fact, I like brazen. The older I get, the more brazen I become.
Carla says
February 10, 2014 at 5:32 amYES YES YES. Your last sentence be me as well.
Carrie Skoll says
February 10, 2014 at 5:50 amI do remember the literature references that bring a negative connotation to the word. But, I love your spin and think this is much better.
Katie @ Pick Any Two says
February 10, 2014 at 6:00 amTo me, being brazen means loving myself just the way I am. There are so many forces out there that work against self-acceptance, particularly when it comes to physical appearance.
Cover Girl wants us to feel uncomfortable in our skin so that we buy their concealer.
Jenny Craig wants us to feel fat so that we sign up for their meal plan.
In the end, believing you’re beautiful just the way you are is an act of BRAVERY. It’s quite brazen.
Carla says
February 10, 2014 at 6:01 amAmen, Sister. AMEN.
Michelle @ Running with Attitude says
February 10, 2014 at 6:01 amI gotta admit “brazen hussy” was the first thing that came to mind when I saw your title. But after that initial reaction, bold and fearless were the next words that came to mind. Love the way you’ve defined it, especially about “owning it!”
Nellie @ Brooklyn Active Mama says
February 10, 2014 at 6:21 amBrazen t o me means doing what you need to do fearlessly. It may rub some folks wrong, but it totally doesn’t matter in the end π
Jody - Fit at 56 says
February 10, 2014 at 6:22 amWhen I hear that word, I always think of how they use it in the news – “a brazen robbery”. Never really to describe people.
This really is an interesting post…. I think the term describing people can be both positive & negative depending on the direction one takes it.. but I see your direction is a different way of using it.
Nettie said it well.
I have definitely seen the change in your writing & you on FB over the past year.
Kierston says
February 10, 2014 at 6:29 amI’ve not heard or seen this word before this post. I do love what it means to you, and your definition of it. Always so thought provoking.
Brittany @ Delights and Delectables says
February 10, 2014 at 6:30 amUsually people use this word in a negative connotation, but I LOVE it. I want to be more brazen… more like you! You inspire me woman! xoxo
Yum Yucky says
February 10, 2014 at 6:47 amThe term “brazen” immediately makes me think of a woman who is strong — in mind, body, beliefs and character. A woman who doesn’t conform to the status quo just to fit in.
I strive to be brazen.
Love this post. Love it love it love it.
Kerri O says
February 10, 2014 at 6:52 amLOL, I think I come to your blog and read whatever I need to hear regardless of what you’re actually saying….
Rita says
February 10, 2014 at 7:37 amI really like the phrase a brazen life.
To me it means gutsy and bold.
Tamara says
February 10, 2014 at 7:46 amWhy have I only ever heard the word brazen associated with women? And most often in a negative light.
Love the idea of reclaiming this word. And your positive definition fits you to a T!
Amy @ Oh So Savvy Mom says
February 10, 2014 at 8:01 amThe ability to be BOLD completely unfettered by any care of others’ opinions.
Carla says
February 10, 2014 at 8:03 amUNFETTERED. I love that…
Marcia says
February 10, 2014 at 8:04 amI agree with Tamara: I often hear brazen used in a negative way. But after mulling, to me it is to go forward without fear.
Charlie Gilkey says
February 10, 2014 at 8:06 amRock on with your brazen self, Carla! I’m so glad you ran with it and shared your reflection on it. π
Lisa @ RunWiki says
February 10, 2014 at 8:10 amWhen someone says “brazen” I think of a negative action, but it can be positive too. What comes to mind for me is political activism– that can be positive– like Pussy Riot in Russia–the girls are brazen, but they are doing it to bring awareness to women’s rights or lack there of.
crabby mcslacker says
February 10, 2014 at 8:16 amLOVE the way you’ve owned the word and made it sound so damn appealing!
My first association with the word is Brazen was…. Hussy. Yeah, I’m old. But then it occurs to me that being a Brazen Hussy could be pretty darn cool too.
Anyway, hussified or not, rock on with your Brazen self and keep that freak flag flyin. π
Elena says
February 10, 2014 at 8:25 amBrazen to me being yourself- proudly, strongly, fearlessly-always- without any worry about what others think, do or say. Love love love this Carla!!
Geosomin says
February 10, 2014 at 8:51 amInteresting. My mum took brazen as a negative …to describebeing overly bold and oppressive in expressing yourself…sort of like what you talked about in letting your freak flag fly for all the wrong reasons. But since mum was quiet and shy I think to her being bold or loud in most ways was excessive.
To me it means expressing everything, even the the uncomfortable parts of myself when they need to be, even to people who may not be ready to hear them…because they are real and true and who I am. Proud expressions of myself π
Kelly @ Cupcake Kelly's says
February 10, 2014 at 10:01 amBrazen to me means being 100% authentically myself. 100% honest with how I feel, not in a manner that hurts others, but in a manner that lets me be real, honest, and loving.
Elle says
February 10, 2014 at 10:04 amThe word BRAZEN has a negative feeling about it, to me. I think of HARSH, RUDE, PUSHY, SELFSERVING, MEAN…
I like BOLD and BRAVE much better.
Just me.
Interesting comments.
Go GET it!
Carla says
February 10, 2014 at 10:07 amI kind of agree—which makes me love it and wanna appropriate it for OUR PURPOSES all the more I guess π
Chantel says
February 10, 2014 at 12:07 pmFirst wanted to let you know I found you through Rubber Shoes in Hell. She is awesome and I am grateful she recommended your site.
Second, brazen was when I finally got the guts to go bald in public. Harder to do in winter, though. It’s cold outside!
Mindy @ Road Runner Girl says
February 10, 2014 at 12:23 pmTo me brazen means being brave, confident, and shameless about who you are. Perfect word for you my friend!
Amanda - RunToTheFinish says
February 10, 2014 at 1:05 pmyes, yes, yes to the coach idea. I’ve realized lately that might be exactly what I need to do as well, but I”m not sure what kind of coach. mulling that momentarily.
Brazen to me well yes…it’s you!
Amalia says
February 10, 2014 at 1:56 pmI think your post is very timely for me! The other day we had to do a personality assessment for my business communications class and ask our significant other or parents or someone who knew us really well to describe us.
The first word out of my boyfriends mouth was “Bold,” and the second was “Brave”
I’ve never seemed that way to myself. Maybe Brazen is a combination of those two. So to me? Brazen means going where other people aren’t willing to go, whether it’s to help others or to progress yourself. It’s living in the moment (and in my case sometimes forgetting about the big picture) — and being unfailingly yourself, every day. Unashamed, unabashedly going about your business the way you need to and want to — of course taking into consideration the effect you have on others.
That was long. Thanks for this π
Carla says
February 10, 2014 at 2:01 pmI’ve emailed many of you privately—but wanted to say publicly THANK YOU so much for sharing your insights and thoughts.
Thank you. Thank you. I’ve much to think about…
AdjustedReality says
February 10, 2014 at 2:50 pmI like brazen. I think I went from brazen to timid (kid to teenage year) and I’m working my way back to brazen. I like the idea of just being who you are, and doing what you feel like…
Kim says
February 10, 2014 at 3:18 pmBrazen to me – BOLD and unashamed!!
I don’t know if I can say 100% that I’m brazen but I am definitely working on it every single day! I want to be me – unapologetically (like Tornado’s shirt says) me!!!
BTW – I love the picture at the top of your site!!!
Kelly @ Laughter, Strength, and Food says
February 10, 2014 at 4:06 pmBrazen means to own who you are and your passions and use that fearless attitude to conquer the world!
Melanie @ Nutritious Eats says
February 10, 2014 at 4:44 pmYes, brazen has a negative connotation for me, but after reading this I love the real meaning behind it. Not negative at all!
Natalie says
February 10, 2014 at 5:14 pmBrazen to me is stepping out of my comfort zone and just being me.
Abby @ BackAtSquareZero says
February 10, 2014 at 5:28 pmTo me brazen is being you and not apologizing for it.
Or as one of my little guys says, “I’m doing me!”
Carla says
February 10, 2014 at 5:30 pmoh. I. love. that.
I’m doing me.
Love.
Kaki Bennett says
February 10, 2014 at 6:22 pmI hope brazen isn’t a word that is reserved for women who are stepping outside the norms a little too much. Is this a word people would use to describe men? I’m going to ponder that and consider synonyms π
She Rocks Fitness says
February 10, 2014 at 6:33 pmTo live fearlessly, passionately, and unapologetically for what I am trying to do personally and professionally! Okay I need to work on this this week…HAHA!
Deb says
February 10, 2014 at 6:45 pmIt’s interesting isn’t it as brazen often has such negative connotations (like assertive vs aggressive). But – it’s more how I’ve experienced its use in my past than anything to do with the word’s meaning….
Christine @ Love, Life, Surf says
February 10, 2014 at 8:22 pmBrazen to me is living fearlessly and self-confidently, not in an arrogant way but in a way that reflects that you are secure in who you are and what nourishes you.
Fiona says
February 11, 2014 at 6:23 amI love your daughter’s t-shirt, really goes to show that your’re a great mom.
Though on the first adjective interpretation, I’d turn it around a little and make it “shamelessly bold”. I think it’s crucial to a person’s happiness to always take care of himself in the best possible way and not make excuses for himself. Being what you call brazen at first seems like it refers mostly to how other people perceive you (hence the negative connotation I guess), but it’s a whole lot more than that.
For me, being brazen means to be completely honest with oneself and to always strive for self improvement .
Tami@NutmegNotebook says
February 11, 2014 at 9:58 amI never though of brazen in a positive light – that is until I read your post! I do think it describes you well and in a good way!
Satu says
February 12, 2014 at 3:10 amI almost missed this! I think brazen means being a little bit crazy to me – in a good way. π
Do tell us what you’ll get out of the coaching. I’ve read Gilkey’s posts occasionally and love his domain name.
Dr. J says
February 12, 2014 at 5:42 amSometimes you need the group, and sometimes the group needs you!
I’m in more of the weird than brazen category π
Estelle says
February 12, 2014 at 3:08 pmCarla,
I love this, and I just started with a life coach, too. Brazen to me, means to live my life with no apologies-the way I need to live it–with character, charisma, caring, and confidence.
Estelle
Presley @ Run Pretty says
February 12, 2014 at 4:56 pmA life with no freak flag flying is no life at all. π
Heather @ Better With Veggies says
February 13, 2014 at 10:07 amWow – I had my definition of brazen so completely wrong. I immediately heard that in a negative light, but the definition is so positive! The first two really spoke to me – 1. boldly shameless 2. unrestrained by convention <– That's how I want to live every moment of every day!!
cherylann says
February 14, 2014 at 7:14 pmI just do what I have to in my life to survive and fill in the rest with what I want to do. I don’t call me or what I do anything. It doesn’t need a label from me or anyone else.
You use the “freak flag” term quite a bit. Do you know where that originated? (Hint- started back in the 60s, not new.)
Cherylann says
February 16, 2014 at 4:34 amand no fair googling it…