I rock the boundaries like a motherfucker. I draw them in Sharpie leaving myself ample space to ooze off the paper and not spark stress. Still, even though parameter-setting verges on reflexive for me, it's hard. It takes courage, feels vulnerable and, at times, sparks a sense of fear like no other. Recently I drew boundaries with a loved one which felt excruciatingly challenging. I ... Continue Reading
This kid. Fucken love her. Miss her terribly when she's gone. Have moments of wishing she’d never come back. I work hard not to let motherhood define me. I work equally as hard to define my motherhood. How do I know I can trust what I've taught her? What do boundaries/freedom look like in this season? Drugs. Sex. Temptation. Adoption. Separation. ... Continue Reading
Water is rebirth.
Back in the day blogging was navel gazing. It was as simple (and complicated) as individuals sharing stories in hopes what we wrote would resonate with others. In a sense we unknowingly blogged in an attempt to spark You too? I thought I was the only one!, to create connection through our struggles and unite through our celebrations. I've consciously chosen to reclaim the navel-gazing ... Continue Reading
Why you need a friend with no filter.
For years Ive joked about the fact I don’t possess a filter. You know that whole thing they say about more truth being said in jest? Yep. That’s it here, too. While I’m capable of affixing a screen when adulting demands it—100% of the rest of the time I’m blunt, upfront and extraordinarily honest. I like to think this isn't a bad thing. Not only am I never unkind (if my thoughts ... Continue Reading
the beforebefore. I talk a lot about the fact growth or movement forward often occurs so incrementally we barely see it happening. Usually when I’m yammering about this notion it has to do with fitness and healthy living. I remind people the power of NSVs (remember those?!) and how even when change is slower than we desire we're creating habits which will launch us forward. Newsflash: ... Continue Reading
What are your problem areas?
my life. “My existence is a clear reflection of my thoughts.” I'm not bragging as in this current season this 'reflection' may not be a good thing. But I'm aware and for me that's always the first step toward change (second step? fighting paralysis by analysis). "I create my reality and am in control of what my life-situation looks like.” Again this isn't yet something at which I ... Continue Reading
It's been a year. A long fucking year. 365 days filled with good and bad surprises. And this Child? She's resilient. And this Mama? She's learned more than she ever wanted about tween girls: the good, the bad and the lonely. Onward to summer. Onward to seventh grade. Onward to I have absolutely no clue. Onward. ... Continue Reading
Im in the middle of being old.
perfection is serendipitous desk discovery. Recently I had a day which was pretty freaking close to perfect. It wasn’t any specific moment, but a coming together of experiences which consistently sparked me to think: I’m lucky. Laughter. Creativity sessions. Coffees. New friends. Sunshine. Crappy dinner. It was as close to a perfect day as I’d had in what felt like a lifetime. I was ... Continue Reading
Creating an anchor.
Once upon a time we had a bullmastiff named Hercules (pour some kibble out for our fallen homie). He possessed many interesting quirks one of which fascinated me more than the others. Before he'd sit on the couch (I'm those people. Not only do I allow dogs on furniture--I encourage it.) Hercules would gather the fleece blankets with his paws and “plump” them. He’d scrape and he’d collect ... Continue Reading
I cannot stop MUSTurbating.
I MUST travel more with this one. I have (to give a loving shout out to Albert Ellis) slipped back into the habit of rubbing myself the wrong way. A woman renown for never MUST'ing herself I've slowly returned to a habit I kicked decades ago. I'm wrapping myself in shoulds whereas, for so long, I'd existed wholly unwrapped. I lived my life. I did the best I could. I had zero ... Continue Reading