I talk a lot about the fact growth or movement forward often occurs so incrementally we barely see it happening.
Usually when I’m yammering about this notion it has to do with fitness and healthy living.
I remind people the power of NSVs (remember those?!) and how even when change is slower than we desire we’re creating habits which will launch us forward.
Newsflash: Lately I’ve felt emotionally stuck.
I recognize this shocks no one, but it’s a scenario I’d sort of surrendered to.
I draped it in lovely language (I’m meeting myself where I am).
I sometimes played the victim card (it’s fine I’m stagnating—-it’s a tough time for me).
I presented it as being gentle to myself (it’s ok—new beginnings require time).
The thing was, however I’d choose to frame it, I’d unwittingly give myself permission to stagnate.
the moments before.
I’d allowed myself to get mired in the emotional muck.
Possibly permanently stuck or so I’d thought until opportunity was thrust in my path.
It was a beautiful day and a group of us ventured out to kayak and paddle board.
Mere moments after climbing in the kayak I decided to snap a group photo.
Yanking off my fave (prescription) sunglasses I accidentally tossed them in the water never to be seen again.
My reaction to the situation surprised myself even more than those around me.
I didn’t fall into scarcity mindset and panic about procuring a $replacement.
I was capable *in the moment* of re-framing/seeking the positive (they weren’t new. they were representative of old experiences/a different life.).
I was able to let go and enjoy the day (AKA not brood. AKA not panic when I couldn’t see.).
Emotional growth, for me, is precisely the same as bodybuilding and resistance training.
It’s the development of our ability to handle the feelings we experience.
It’s building a solid foundation which allows us to create healthy emotions/reactions even during times of stress.
I was shocked by my ability to be resilient and not let something seemingly tiny yet financially/emotionally huge derail me.
Surprising myself not only made that day a happier one—it gave me renewed hope.
I’m now making the conscious choice to continue moving forward and step into growth.
I’m committing to creating emotional muscles which require I “build myself” and pursuing scenarios which cause me to feel uncomfortable/untethered.
Even now when all I long for is to retreat to the familiar.
I recognize as with all changes in life there will be fits and starts—but today I feel strong and empowered.
Tomorrow may deliver a new set of challenges which knock me back a few steps and that’s OK.
Emotional growth, same as fitness and healthy living, is not linear.
And as long as I’m aware there’s movement even when I cannot see it – – that’s OK.
Allie saysJune 29, 2018 at 4:50 am
*standing ovation at home computer* Bravo Carla!!! Sometimes it’s the not overreacting to the “little” things that make us feel most grounded. I’ve been working on this myself quite a bit and reigning in emotions that just are not worth it. You know what? The anger and frustration pass quickly if you let them 🙂
Great pics too! Looks like a ton of fun!
cherylann saysJune 29, 2018 at 6:43 am
Better than losing a wedding ring while kayaking…but we still did of course!
Renee saysJune 29, 2018 at 9:11 am
I feel like you were supposed to lose the sunglasses…it was a sign. Very symbolic..you have been viewing life through the darkness…now there is light… Excuse me, but I am very into signs and I feel like this was one for you…
Sher saysJune 29, 2018 at 2:00 pm
Boy, did I need to read your wise words today. I’ve been stuck in an emotional funk since I left northern Cali & moved to Austin almost 3 years ago. That’s a long funk. I hope I’m changing/moving forward even if I can’t see it. Many times I think to myself, “Texas, you are kicking my butt.” [Infection with tick borne illness, foot injury, 2 car accidents, loss of a family member to pancreatic cancer, 3 moves] I guess what’s really going on is that this Texas phase is necessary for my slow transition into a warrior Nana.
messymimi saysJune 29, 2018 at 7:23 pm
Change is happening, growth is happening, it will all turn out as it should. Great reminder.
Lori Widelitz-Cavallucci saysJune 30, 2018 at 9:01 am
I had something similar happen with a ring that was one of a kind I picked up at an Arts Festival. I didn’t get upset either and decided the ring needed to find a new person and that for some reason, I no longer needed that. I’m so proud of you and how you are moving forward with all that is going on in your life now.
emmaclaire saysJuly 2, 2018 at 5:56 pm
“It’s the development of our ability to handle the feelings we experience.”
Handle the feelings, not bury, rage against, deny, deflect, etc. I am SO working on this, Carla, and yes, it isn’t linear, just like most other important growth in my life right now. Kudos for being able to handle the set-back and move through to enjoy your day!
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