Annnd we’re moving.

by

texa classic shoes

It’s funny (odd  not ha ha) how many times I’ve started and STOPPED writing this post.

For some reason, as I brain-dumped and wrote, it kept feeling as though it didn’t ‘fit” here,

Which is crazy (the batshit not the fun kind) as this is simply a blog.

My blog.

My place for ramblings and musings and sharing what’s happening around here.

So I stopped writing (again) and I returned to the beginning of the year (again) and I challenged myself (again).

What would happen if one woman told the truth about her life?

And I reminded myself there’s no compartmentalizing (upheavals, marriage counseling, exhaustion in one nice, tidy little box with BOOK DEAL!, VENUS WILLIAMS!!, SMILEY HAPPY CHILD! wrapped up in another) and no judgement.

It’s all just life.

So I share.

We’re moving.

Again.

And none to the surprise of anyone who’s watched or hung out with me over the past 18 months:

I’m sad and disappointed.

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(oddly, this is neither her sad nor her disappointed face.)

On *top* of that I imagine this move like having a baby:

The last one was recently ENOUGH I haven’t had a chance to forget the pain and think:

oooh this mightcould be fun!

Right now, however, sad & disappointed are emotions I don’t have the luxury of time for.

As much as I want to whine I just found my OAKTOWNgroove & throw a fit about wanting to SAVOR our book release & NOT rush through (OK, I may have done both–but only once) I can’t.

I need to suck it up buttercup, yank on my big girl panties (the ones which smell nice!) and lead The Child by example.

I need to make this my personal mantra in hopes she’ll follow suit:

Attitude is the difference between an ordeal and an adventure.

While this post has no real point other than if I seem more scattered than usual this is why *and* anyone wanna buy a house?! I have had two realizations as Ive pondered uprooting again.

The first is about time.

I frequently yammer at the Child how *time* is our most valuable resource. Unlike almost everything else in our lives we cannot make more.

As I’ve slowly begun to share about our move the refrain Ive heard most frequently is: I’d thought we had more time.

For coffee.

For walks.

For hanging out.

For working together.

For connecting.

Each time the sentiment has been uttered I’m reminded of the quote below.

It’s something I’m choosing to keep firmly in mind as I ready to move and after I land back in Texas.

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The second is Ive decided this time I’m not lying to myself.

Positive self-deception helped me ROCK the transition here—but this time I’m older, I’m wiser, I’m MOVE’ier.

This move I’m a realist.

I’m meeting myself where I am, I’m deciding whatever I can do is enough.

I am — in a quite serious fashion— #wycwyc’ing my move.

I can’t lie.  I’m tempted to try the fake it till I make it.

I read a post about Friday night dinners, loneliness, and building community  and, as much as I long to add *here*:

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Back-in-Texas-Carla will host weekly Friday night free-for-alls!

I wonder if it’s possible in a new neighborhood (again).

When you don’t really know anyone yet (again).

When you’re working and busy *and* wiped the heck out (again, again, & new).

Perhaps I’ll surprise myself.

Perhaps Ill look back at this post some day in the future *after* hosting a Friday night somethingsomething and laugh I didn’t think I could.

Perhaps.

Until then it’s time for packing….

bama ry necklace

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Comments

  1. Welcome back to Texas, Carla. You know, I read that Friday night meatball article and it spoke to me, as well. I’m thinking of adjusting it to red beans and cornbread. When you get moved and get settled and fling open your doors, don’t be surprised if I walk in. You can do it – wycwyc.

  2. Good luck with your move and everything that comes with it!! I look forward to hearing about it and cheering you on in your new adventures 🙂

  3. i have never moved from state to state so i have no tips – except to say #wycwyc. and make sure to label each box with the room and the contents! happy moving!

  4. Carla, you will be fine. The first ten years of my marriage we moved five times, involving four states. The first move was traumatic and maybe I am crazy, but after that one, they were something I looked forward to. It was an opportunity to see new places and make more friends. Not replace them….more. I wish you the best on this new adventure. I wish I lived in Texas so I could welcome you.

  8. I haven’t moved state to state but I have changed continents. No worries. You’ve got this. Child will be resilient. You rock leading by example and this will be no different.

  10. I fully understand as I know a move is on the horizon again for us, but have no idea exactly when or where and I want that community feeling…so it’s just bucking up one day at a time 🙂

  12. I know that you missed a lot about Texas, so welcome back to it!

    I so get the move thing, haha! We did a cross country move once with our house stuff plus a business with all its stuff. Never, ever again.

    In fact, I don’t want to move ever again. It’s not fun.

  13. Moving is overwhelming no matter what. You have a healthy attitude and you’ll get through to the other side before you know it! Make the most of your time and surround yourself with a community that lifts you up

  17. I know this move had a lot going into it mentally & emotionally so I hope you cherish that it is where it needs to be – moving suckd – I have done it too many times but within this area but you have tons of friends back there & I know it will be wonderful…

    As for the quote – so friggin true but too often we learn too late in life – better late than never though – The trouble is you think you have time – but before you know it, time is closing in on you OR you lost people – yup – an important quote to learn young!

  18. While I am sad that you are leaving California {who will represent Oak Town now??}, I’m happy if you’re happy that this move is happening. <3

  19. “What would happen if one woman told the truth about her life?”
    I adore that. <3
    Good luck with your move Carla, wish I could make it over for some Friday night fun!

  22. moving: stressful, overwhelming and at the best of times crazy enough to drive us to drink.

    But does that really matter?

    Wherever you go; there you are. With hunkalicious man candy, the ever teaching us the way to look at life tornado and you.

    And us.

    That’s all that really matters.

  23. Any and all of your musings and ramblings “fit” here. This is your blog and you are apologetically you.
    I wish you the best on your new adventure and I can’t wait to read all about it. 🙂
    Now go #wycwyc your ass off.

  24. Yup. Feel all the damned feelings. That’s my advice. That’s what a #fullandmeaningfullife is all about.

    I recently heard a term: psychological flexibility. It’s NOT about putting on a happy face and faking it, it’s about knowing that the uncomfortable feelings can’t and won’t destroy you.

    Ride ’em cowboy.

    And love. It’s always available to you.

  27. AH! Moving! I just said to my husband, last night, I’d move in about ONE second if someone would come buy our house so we can go somewhere, anywhere where the people are nicer and we can connect and make friends.
    Seriously.
    You see, I tried something like Friday Night Soup Night when we first moved here- and…. no one came. Like, no one. I had vats of soup and loaves of homemade bread and all the neighbors (the entire block!) Ignored my invitation as if they never got them. They got them, I checked. They just didn’t come. Not. One. Person.
    So then I became tempted to just stop trying so hard, and I DID stop trying so hard. But– what if what I really have to do is TRY HARDER? Maybe that’s it. Maybe I need to dust off the soup pot and try again. Cast a wider net.
    Thanks for the inspiration, Carla. (again) And good luck on the move. If I were closer I’d come help you pack.

  28. I’m sorry….moving is such a tough thing and you’ve more than had your share of it of late. I wish you well with it and know that you’ll turn it into a positive. I am also a believer in “things happen for a reason,” even when we can’t see that reason at first. Your reason is there.

  29. Moving is so difficult and feeling bad about moving again..well…it’s how you feel. Go right on ahead and feel as bad as you need to..then when you’re done, kick the move right in the ass. You know you will. 🙂

  30. Moving is a royal PITA and doing it again so soon is doubly irksome BUT you have the best attitude and you will #wycwyc through it all–I’ve no doubt! Love to you, Carla! And I am sure the Lone Star State will be happy to have you again 🙂 XO

  32. Le sigh (as they say here in da’burgh…or somewhere)… This moment, this moment, this moment aaaaaand this moment. That’s my only advice, but I’m sending you a big hug and sending up many positive thoughts to the power(s) that be that your moments are kind to you.

  33. Today this was what I needed to read.. I’ve been contemplating a move myself and then I stumble upon this.. Wishing you the best but that you for providing me some food for thought for my own move! <3

  36. Oh wow…that sounds so hard, Carla. And it’s okay if it’s hard. Yes, there’s the truth that a good attitude will affect your perspective but there’s also the reality that this is not inherently a fun situation and change in your life. You sure seemed to fit Oakland so well! Embrace the hard aspects of moving – the mourning of this new place – and then look forward to what is ahead! Who knows what’s around the corner….what a few years it’s been! In the meantime, I hope you embrace all your Oakland days to the fullest before you guys go. 🙂 Lots of love!

  37. Can’t offer any words to comfort you but I specialize in big squishy hugs so ((((((((((HUGS)))))))))) to you. Lemme know if you need more, I gots plenty to spare. 🙂

  39. I think you move so much so that you can pass around your light. Those of us who’ve met you are so blessed. I can’t wait til our paths meet again and I really can’t wait to read your book!

  42. I have not moved often – only twice in fact, if you don’t count moving within the same city. I don’t like moving. I like to be surrounded by the familiar. It was stressful. But, looking back I am glad that I made both moves. There will be things you miss and there will be things you love. Ultimately, I’m sure you will settle and find your groove again. 🙂

  46. Well, congratulations and good luck – not sure which is the most appropriate but…..
    I hope that the move goes smoothly and that you feel at home immediately once you hit Texas again.
    Thank you so much for linking that post about the Friday night meatballs – I love the idea and want to start at least a snack/game night here!!

  50. Welcome back to Texas with big, open arms! Wish I lived closer to Austin so I could give you a big hug when you get back. I also go around wishing for more time but it never happens. I am in a busy, busy season of life and I am just trying to savor the time I do have with family and friends because it passes so quickly. You are loved and supported here and I am sure you will find the same love and support where-ever you land in Austin.

  51. You got this. You and the kiddo will bloom in a major way. I have faith in you and her.

    And I’ve already started looking at races. I love Austin so I might just show up on your doorstep one Friday.

  52. I’ve moved 16 or 17 times. It is what you make of it. I just had a brunch party despite the boxes in one room and no fridge in the spot where one should be. It’s a great way to meet your people. Good luck with keeping it together while your in upheaval.

  55. GOOD LUCK!!!! I know moving is stressful and scary and every other emotion under the sun, but I bet everything turns out great!!! 🙂 Texas will be a huge change for sure, but with moving also comes the unique opportunity to meet awesome new people and make awesome new memories!! Yay for positivity!! 🙂

  56. WOW…You have a lot going on. I can understand how you’re feeling. I can only imagine what it must be like to face two moves in what seems like such a short period of time.

  57. Well, I just (re)learned a lesson: Don’t put things off. I had been meaning to email you about a hike for a long time now (but then not-so-nice life stuff got in the way again and again….). Sad that I didn’t make it a priority to meet you in person while you were here!

    Moving is hard, but I know you’ll see the adventure in it much more than the ordeal!

  59. Wow. Wow. Really love staying connected via FB and your blog. Your honesty inspires me. And maybe when you get back in town we can get all caught up over coffee (or wine/whine) xoxo —

  61. I hope this move will be a little easier since you know the area already. And one thing I know you know is that scattered among the aggravations and headaches will be many moments of pure joy. Here’s hoping you won’t be too exhausted to see them. 🙂

  66. Wow! Welcome back to Texas! I hope that the move goes as smooth as it can go! Lotsa luck selling your home! Something about moving is exciting and fun, mixed in with a bunch of work too. It’s a great time to declutter and purge. It’s a fresh start!

    xo

  67. Having read all your posts since your last move (and before) and in reading between the lines, I think there’s more to this move than you’re telling. No worries, no need to share all. Like others I’m sending love over the net. I’m sure you and the munchkin will bounce back, if only because that’s what you do. Hugz

  68. WOWZA, that’s a lot to deal with, both emotionally and logistically! So glad you keep it real and while rocking all the positives you can, you also acknowledge that transitions are tough and that feeling crappy at times is part of the process.

    Hope it goes (relatively) smoothly and you find things to love about your new ‘hood!

  70. You’re so right- it’s your blog, you can share whatever you want. 🙂 Moving is rough. We’ve lived in four states in our short married life and I think, HOPE, we’re done with moving for a long time. It does take time, but you always find your new groove in the new place. Life will eventually settle down again. Wishing you all the best!!

  71. Having just done a state to state move [my first] I know how exhausting/draining/jarring etc it can be. Take time for you and the child as needed. SAFE TRAVELS AND YAY TO NEW ADVENTURES!

  72. We’re a military family so I have so much empathy! My husband is getting ready to retire, so you’d think I’d be excited at the thought of staying in one place, but the truth is, I got used to moving, learned how to make it work, and I think my body is so used to moving that I’m in shock, and feel like, “what! we’re not moving?” Do I dare say that I’m a kind of sad? I think… yes… yes, I am.

    Good luck with your big change– It’s never easy, but you are so wise and level headed– you will get through. xoxoxo

  74. As stressful and emotional as this must be, I can’t help thinking it’s a good thing. I have all sorts of reasons for that and most of them probably have more to do with me than with you…but I just thought I’d let you know I have a good feeling about this. 🙂

  75. Well I’m guessing you’ll adapt just fine moving back to Texas 🙂 Moving is tough though so be gentle with yourself 🙂 sending you and the family lots of good moving vibes and sending you a hug of support 🙂

  76. Oh Carla-
    You have no idea… How many times must I come to visit blogger only to find that hearts and minds connected to mine are feeling and living what I am?!
    I wish you all the love & hope & fullness of life that your cup can runneth over with!
    🙂 🙂 🙂 ‘hugs’ xoxo

  77. Back in high school, we had this cheer we did every time we earned a spot to go to national competition in Dallas: T-E-X-A-S. Texas! Texas! HECK YESSS!!

    A bunch of Jersey cheerleaders chanting about Texas is a VERY big deal. Because Texas is awwwesome.

  79. We made the move from California to Austin last spring, and community-building has been at the top of my list! Excited to read about your adventures, and welcome back!

  80. Texas will be happy to have you back! I only wish I was closer to Austin, so I could come to one of your Friday night things!

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