I’m a big fan of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.
Albert Ellis is my homeboy.
For me the notion of life’s problems stemming from faulty thoughts (cognition)/behaviors not only makes sense–it’s comforting.
Basically when we struggle with anydamnthing involving thoughts/actions CBT can help.
Which brings me to a phrase a fellow CBT-lover/faith-based therapist shared with me:
Speak over yourself.
I loved. I googled. I found very little.
She didn’t know.
I still loved. I still searched. I concluded I needed to make it my own.
Wherever the phrase originated–it suited me.
I interrupt. A lot.
It’s not my best trait, but could I harness its power and transform it ala CBT into a fear-facing, helpful one?
I’m drawn to CBT because it focuses on what and how and not why. This approach to cognition both feels action oriented to me and seems as though it’s a move forward. I needed a move forward.
Perhaps through speaking over myself I could re-frame/smash my cycle of ‘I can’t’ thinking?
From the benign (I have no sense of style–wanna help decorate my condo?) to the serious (I possess zero tangible job skills. What offline-positions might I even apply for?) I needed to train my brain to view my world through a new light.
Is this new light accurate? Quite frankly it doesn’t matter. This new perspective is necessary if I’m going to thrive in my current circumstances.
Return to catchphrase.
Mantra, chant, drishti. However we refer words/places upon which we direct our focus–I’d lost mine.
And yet I still believed the Universe doesn’t necessarily provide us what we want, but delivers what we need.
I’ve chosen to believe Speak over yourself was sent as a mantra of sorts. A 3 word reminder of the fact I’m not always able to see things as they really are.
Be less kind.
I’m not someone who needs to be instructed to be gentle to herself. I’m not a woman whom friends need admonish ‘treat yourself as you would a BFF!‘ I happily, unapologetically and consistently cut myself huge amounts of that proverbial slack.
Spoiler alert: This is not always a good thing.
I can be too quick to ‘meet myself where I am‘ (It’s OK, Carla, if you’re feeling ____ and need to sit with the emotion for a while) and realized in doing so I unwittingly give myself permission to remain stuck.
It’s incumbent upon me to be far less benevolent…to me.
Framed in this fashion, Speaking over myself offered a perfect partner/counterbalance to manifestation journaling.
In the latter I write the reality I long to create and in the former I refuse to listen to myself with regards to the myriad imagined reasons my my second life wont unfold as planned.
Research indicates we humans have approximately 70,000 thoughts per day with 80% of these musings being negative or self-damaging (!).
In writing and in speech I’m speaking over myself.
- Are you a conversationalist who gets overly filled with zeal/interrupts others?
- Might you, too, shift this ‘bad’ habit to good and flip it back on yourself?