What if it all went away?

by

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Gratitude is a tremendous part of our duo’s day-to-day living.

A constant focus.

It’s not so much the Child has gone through an ungrateful stage (yet?)—-I just believe in focusing before the potential fall.

On prophylactic gratitude if you will.

We have a lot for which to be grateful.

A lot.

An embarrassment of riches with regards to opportunities and experiences.

Because of this fact I used to obsess about her becoming spoiled.

If she spies a flyer for a musical she loves and r-e-a-l-l-y wants to see again—I’ll do everything I can to get us tickets.

If she wants to try a new class or take lessons to supplement a passion—I’ll do everything I can to support her dream.

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While I still fret about her being grateful (spend time with us & you’ll hear: attitude of gratitude!! more than you’d care to) I’ve decided until she’s ungrateful it’s OK for the above types of treats to flow her way.

Ive also noticed my nine year old learns more by watching than she would a lecture.

With regards to gratitude I practice daily what I long to preach.

This hasn’t always been easy for me.

I struggled to define gratitude for a *Toddler* Tornado (translation: my experiences with a LITTLE & a gratitude board made me GRATEFUL she wouldn’t always be small…).

Now that she’s older, however, it’s clicked.

She grasps the notion of feeling gratitude for things we cannot touch and which could easily be taken for granted.

Many times it makes this misfit-mama cry:

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Still I’ve searched for a way to convey—on her level—how I feel gratitude for things I’ve always had.

  • a warm home
  • food
  • clothing
  • friends

Stuffs I view as necessities and which she’s always possessed in abundance as well.

I struggled to explain this concept until I spied a question which captured it perfectly:

What if you woke this morning with *only* what you were grateful for yesterday?

I posed this question to her and she immediately answered based on her previous night’s prayers:

Id have my Mama and my Charming and my good day at school.

Somehow, the way this question is phrased, made the idea of what she adored vanishing from lack of gratitude (my house! it’s very rainy outside!)  finally click.

When I asked her the question it dawned on me I also needed the reminder (who knew?) to pause each day & act on what I (re)committed to living in 2014:

I am filled with gratitude for the problems I do not have.

I now turn this question toward you & she and I together await your response:

  • What would today look like if you woke only with what you had gratitude for yesterday?

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Comments

    • Gratitude is the lost manner! I am so glad to see you are instilling that at such a young age. I believe we have to do that young as possible.

  2. I love that you are instilling gratitude in her right from the start. I think being grateful each day seriously makes all the difference. Whenever I’m struggling with a hard day at work or a hard day studying, I remind myself how lucky I am to be doing what I love and then my mood changes! If I woke today with only the things I was grateful for yesterday I would have family and friends and our health… but I would be shivering outside! Thanks for such a great reminder 🙂

  3. Yesterday I had a moment of YES! We took the kids to a natural area that was full of waterfalls and small pools. They had so much fun and could not stop talking about it all. And what did it cost? Absolutely nothing. It was a great reminder for me to give gratitude for experiences.

  4. I am grateful everyday, all day, for my health and my family’s health. I know that it means so, so much and I never take it for granted. However, teaching the boys an “attitude of gratitude” is an hourly task!!

  5. Yesterday was not my best day.
    I’d have me and that would be it LOL
    I need to try this with myself, Carla.
    THANKS for the idea.

  6. I am stealing this to use with my twins.
    I’ve struggled lately to explain to them why we need to be grateful for things like our home and car and my job. Things they have always know.
    Have a great week, Carla.

  7. Cultivating “an attitude of gratitude” is so important, especially for children (although let’s be honest; we could all use a little more of it in this day and age). I’ve been trying to focus a lot more on this lately, and I really can tell a difference. Thanks for this!

  8. Two things: you have the most amazing daughter and I suspect your awesome parenting has something to do with that; and,

    That question knocked me on my ass. Scary in a way, but powerful, especially if used prospectively. What do I want to keep in my life beyond today, and what if being grateful for it was the only way to do that? Yikes!

  9. Saturday was the day I had a moment of gratitude…I took time to run downtown Chicago, after a meeting I attended. This run was on my time, with no goal, nothing except to enjoy the scenery and take it all in. After a stressful week, it was just the moment I needed. I was grateful for running, for living in a beautiful place, and for the $10 parking voucher I had…

    As the mom of 2 teenage boys, it can be hard to find these moments..

  11. I LOVE everything about this, and I think you know I am a big believer in an attitude of gratitude. What you think about you bring about, and you are the poster child for that. Your little tornado definitely has her priorities in the right place, and I love seeing how genuinely GOOD she is. It is interesting to think about though, especially as our perspectives change as time passes and we get used to having certain things. Thanks for the thought! Have a wonderful monday friend!

  12. I need to make a poster of that question and hang it around me, Carla! I think it’s great. As I am truly practicing gratitude daily these days I am happy to say I would wake up today with my home, my husband, my health, and the ability to do whatever I put my mind to. I spent so much of my life being ungrateful, not just self-diagnosed either. I think there’s nothing more cutting than being told you’re ungrateful (well, perhaps other than realizing it and sitting with that for a bit)!

    There’s nothing wrong with being able to provide your daughter with these great experiences — and it seems she has a great model of appreciation for all that she has and is provided. It’s wonderful to hear a person who is abundant in many things say they are grateful for all that they have.

  13. pretty sure your daughter teaches us life lessons each day without even knowing it… a sign of a good mom . ahem… YOU! thank you for this reminder

  15. This is such a simple thing, but so profound. Luckily I was pretty grateful yesterday. I will start being grateful now for all the things I should be grateful for today.

  17. Truth be told I think kids often practice gratitude more than we do as adults. We often get bogged down with worry, what is coming next, etc. While children just live in and enjoy the moment. The tornado is perfect!

  21. I would still have my Du (hubs), because every single day I am grateful for the fact he can still work, and enjoy life. Our time is limited (we are 2.5 years into a 4.5 year expected survival), and every second is so very precious. When I look out my kitchen window and see him hoeing his garden, or mowing the lawn, I am so thankful that he can still live a normal life. Cancer really really sucks, and he is fighting, but no doctor givesus much hope for anything beyond about 4.5 years. So….for this day….I am so grateful for the life we can still lead….NORMAL is highly underrated, and I am oh so grateful for every single day of it that we can get.

  22. Such a beautiful question…
    I have so much to be grateful for, thank you for reminding me of this.

    I love your daughter’s response to your question, so wonderful that she is filled with gratitude.

    Have a beautiful week!

  23. Eleven years ago I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Four years ago, on Christmas Day, my husband died unexpectedly and I subsequently lost my entire family. Many of your readers have posted “family and health.” I hope they never have to experience the loss of either. Today I’m grateful for great friends and my faith in God. Without either, I wouldn’t have made it.
    Brenda

  25. Someone I know is doing a #JoyinJune thing and I keep thinking I should join in as gratitude is something I don’t acknowledge enough.

    Thanks for the reminder.

    Deb

  26. Well this is THE perfect day for answering this question as yesterday was a 10. Time outdoors with my family, the beauty of nature, lots and lots of wonderful messages from friends and a comfy bed to fall into at the end of the day!

  27. amazing question. I had a blah day yesterday but this got me to think. I’m grateful for that bad day because I made it through. And strawberries… definitely strawberries 🙂

  29. Lately, I’ve been hit by a wave of gratitude and this weekend especially. Maybe it has to do with actually taking back my weekends instead of being tethered to the computer. But I love this perspective so much.

  30. I had some good afternoon down time & memories yesterday of Saturday if that counts! 🙂 Good question. I think you wrote about this years ago too… always thought provoking.

  31. Oh My. Such a great way to look at the end of each day and the beginning the next morning. I wrote my weekly gratitude list just moments before reading your post. there’s more that I would add, have added, will add. Looking back through the lens of your “what if,” I’m content.

  33. I love and adore you for trying at such young age to conceptualize gratitude to your mini-me!
    I am grateful my house guests are gone and not my responsibility. We just played hotel for 3 nights,wet towels left on the floor, walking out the door without a see you later,etc. I am so glad these are not my adult kids!

  36. This quote always catches me at just the right time!! I would be left wit h my family…my health and the health of my children…the sun…

  37. Too many to count (things to be grateful for)- because I have always worked with a population WITHOUT ______ (fill in- adequate housing, food, love, support, education, self-esteem through job/career) I have always been thankful that I had/have what I did/do. So many of those on the reservation are still without (by choice?) and have no hope (addictions, poor health, kids with disabilities)-these observations/experiences have only made my “gifts” more obvious to me. Grateful that I have been able to point some kids/parents in the right direction over the years…

  38. I’d have my husband, my babies and my three awesome pooches. 😉

    This is a good reminder. I have been seeing some ungrateful tendencies in Kid1 lately. We will have this grateful conversation tonight before bed.

  40. While sometimes I can get into a “constantly want to improve” hole in some areas of my life, I definitely spent time yesterday grateful for all the awesome outdoor activities my husband and I can do together and that I have an awesome job. Of course, I’m thankful for other things, but those two stood out yesterday!

  41. This is an awesome practice. Not that your daughter needs to know this at such a young age, but as adults I think we need to realize that eventually we will lose everything. If we keep that in mind, it becomes clear what we really should value: relationships, love, life. Yesterday I was grateful for my husband and our current level of happiness. Anita

  46. Trying to work on this concept with my kids as they are in a selfish phase- wanting more food, more stuff, and always more complaints. They have no clue how blessed we are and how bad some people have it. But we are trying.

  48. “What if you woke this morning with *only* what you were grateful for yesterday?”
    This moved me to tears. I have so much to be grateful for I can’t name everything and I know I take a lot for granted. Thank you for the reminder.

  49. I’ve been struggling with being grateful for the amazing things I do have right now, as a few things we wanted did not pan out. Because of that, I’ve been reminding myself daily of all the good that exists in my life.

    I may not have everything I want, but I definitely have every thing I need and I occasionally need the kick in the pants to remember that. Thanks.

  50. Despite my bad days, I still adore my life because I have SOOOO much more positive than negative in it! I actually said this a few times the other day to a girlfriend of mine because I was having a slightly bad week, but really, I am just such a happy and positive person, that a bad week is a BLIP in the radar!

  52. For me personally I feel that the root of gratitude is empathy. I try to teach my children to look into the eyes of others and to ask themselves how they think that person is feeling.. especially when they’ve hurt someones feelings. “How do you think they feel?” ” What if this was you?” “I don’t care who’s right or wrong someone has real tears, we acknowledge others feelings” When they learn to understand feelings outside of themselves, then when we watch a documentary about how kids walk 18 miles to get to school each day pushing their disabled brother in a makeshift wheelchair ( watch “On the Way to School” Netflx- amazing) they can really understand how those kids might feel and I see my children’s eyes well up with tears and they talk about how fortunate they are. For now I am grateful that the eight kids that were here today for a pool party have returned home to their families. My kids better be flippin grateful for their mother. haha!

  53. I would live in a world filled with giggles and sillies, real moments, family and friends ,good food to nourish me, the ability to get out and move and love of course!

  54. I can’t say I cover it all in a day, but over a week, I think I hit all the bases.

    Nice to be reminded just in case. Thank you!

  57. I agree. I’ve worked so hard to teach my children to be considerate and appreciative of things. I notice the difference when they are around other kids. We’ve taken his girlfriend places or fed her meals several times now and not once has she said THANK YOU. Not once. And she barely will speak to us at all, while I’m using to my sons including me in the conversation. It’s different. Gratitude is so important. #SITSSharefest

  58. I do not have any kids of my own, but my older brother and his wife have 2 beautiful young girls. I think they appreciate everything they have and I am sure they won’t take the important things in life for granted.
    As for myself, I think I am a little selfish once in a while. But I will work on my gratitude more.

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