My BRAZEN baby girl.
I parent in a bubble.
Inside The Bubble.
The ten year old knows almost anything goes words-wise if used appropriately, with permission and inside our judgement-free zone.
I like words.
I adore when people, especially those better at word-weaving than I, employ them in unexpected ways.
I sporadically fall in love with words, chickenbus for example, and appropriate them for my own purposes outside their traditional definition.
1. boldly shameless
2. unrestrained by convention
3. marked by audacity
1. to face and overcome boldly
2.to make (oneself) bold or brash
I enjoyed how it made us women of a certain age giggle as it brought to mind the phrase: brazen hussy.
I was drawn to how it captured precisely how I plan to live the rest of my life.
For me brazen living was:
- Putting myself first. Shamelessly. The awareness if I don’t tend to my needs first I have nothing to give. The ole an empty pot cannot pour any Diet Coke notion.
- Owning it. I work my ass off. I’m not lucky. I’m exceedingly grateful. And yet? I don’t pretend to be small or stoppable merely because women are supposed to not to know their worth.
- Boldly doing unto others. Serving others. Celebrating others. Shining light on others. Being the light where I can.
brashly brazen in latency stage.
Each time the word left my lips it
made me snicker and captured how I wanted to conduct myself as I entered my second life.
I told everyone about my new fave word.
Slowly brazen became woven into the fabric of who I am and no longer something I needed to consciously choose to be.
I was happy. Brashly, boldly, creating my own joy because I’m not waiting for you to offer me some of yours happy.
And then I noticed the little eyes which are always watching.
I recalled how plainly she’d stated she was watching me to learn how to become a woman and I decided, even with my practice don’t preach philosophy, I needed a plan.
This called for ways I could consciously facilitate my daughter discovering her inner BRAZEN even if the word wasn’t spoken.
(spoken too often anyway. she covets my bracelet.)
5 ways (I’m trying) to raise a BRAZEN girl:
#1. I’m teaching her to dance with fear.
Sure that makes it sound as though I want her to nae nae with nervousness or tango with trepidation. That’s not it at all. I want her to not waste precious time avoiding fear and instead run boldly, brazenly toward it. I strive to show her through my actions fear can teach us, fear exists for a reason and fear, like all emotions, can be our friend.
#2. I reward grit and resilience as boisterously as success.
This has been a challenge to do for myself. Yet, once I finally made it habit, I was capable of conveying it to her. I praise her tenacity. I applaud her ability to embrace (what we adults refer to as) failure, step back, access and try again. I’ve consciously chosen to cheer most more loudly when she’s not the best than when she is.
#3. I hesitate…so she will speak up.
Anyone who’s spent time with children knows it can feel easier to do things (laundry to lawn mowing) ourselves. It is easier and less time consuming *but* it’s also disempowering. When I paid attention I witnessed how my daughter often waited for me to step in or takeover and, only when I didn’t, did she step up herself. Each time she’s stepped up she’s handled her business like a (brazen) rock star. She’s quite capable when I step back and allow her to be.
#4. I show I don’t tell.
I offer books with brazen, confident characters. I encourage her to watch movies or TV shows with male and female characters who display traits to which we both aspire. I try v-e-r-y hard to remain silent and let her point the characteristics out (Did you see how that?! She nailed her vault even though her Coach told her she couldn’t!) This is the first step to her recognizing the characteristics in herself and others.
#5. I work to put myself out of a job.
Ahhh the definition of motherhood, teacherhood and anyhood involving children. I choose daily to focus on wings not roots. I remind myself she’ll fall and fail and of the myriad gifts which emerge from these experiences. I begin each day musing How can I make her need me less? and, as a result, spark her to become a more brazen advocate for herself.
It’s still a crap-shoot (technical term) if my approach is working.
As with all things parenting, I’ll only know if this has taken root when she’s older and has fully spread her wings.
As with all things parenting, I’m learning as much from her as she begins to brazenly seek what she wants in life as she’s leaning from me.
- What does the word BRAZEN mean to you?
- Have you become more bold in seizing what you want from life as you’ve gotten older?