The Elder Statesman of Kidville.

by

Today this one starts middle school.

When I began working in social media in 2001 she wasn’t born yet.

When I launched this thing she & I were newly home from Guatemala and she was a year old.

This summer whizzed past (I know I know. It will be different next year) in what seemed like a weekendandaBLINK.

She worked. I worked.

There were camps and canine-time and trips and trampolines and suddenly, what I’d anticipated would be not only summer ending but the clear culmination of an era, is here.

I’d pre-grieved the end of summer’s arrival.

I’d mourned in advance what I’d assumed, with the impending transition, would feel like a loss to me.

I’d (falsely) presupposed her moving from elementary school to middle school would feel like a death of sorts.

I’d subconsciously identified today as an arbitrary demarcation date for the fact everything would change and ‘grieved’ in advance the shifts I thought I saw on the horizon.

I grieved too early.

These past few weeks, as our summer wound down, life provided me multiple opportunities to experience how wrong I was.

I saw how, while tweenhood and attitude is rapidly encroaching, for these final few months of 11 she’s chosen to remain firmly in Kidville.

She may be Kidville’s oldest resident, an elder statesman of sorts, but she’s decided to hang on for a few months longer.

elder statesman

She still plays.

She still believes strangers are friends she’s just not met yet.

She now identifies her fave person as another 11 year old, but still has a fave adult and it’s I who’s been given that privilege.

She plays.

She’s ‘elder’ enough to stay home alone, yet the biggest ‘worry’ this produces is if she’ll snarf all the chocolate chips in the house and I’ll only discover this fact riiiight deciding to bake.

She still begs for us to procure matching stuffs and is disappointed if we can’t find anything suitable (rather than the soon-to-be-here horrified if I arrive home post-shopping excursion waving identical items).

Pittsburgh Steelers sportbra

She is ready and desperate to become a full-fledged young woman, but reflective enough to linger a while longer on the seemingly carefree kid’dom side of life.

She’s Shrinky Dinks and Kendra Scott.

Thinx and Underoos.

She’s secrets and shared writings.

She’s bike-riding to friends’ homes juuuust the other side of MY comfort-zone and bombarding me with hearts and emojis immediately upon arrival.

I rarely write posts the night before anymore, but last night as we talked and snacked and glowed and giggled I sensed she didn’t want our night to end either.

For the first of what I imagine will be many times to come we simultaneously realized these nights were no longer something to be taken for granted.

After she went to bed, I reflected on a morning a lifetime ago.

She was little and I was exhausted.

As I attempted to make it through my a.m. juggling work and mamahood she trotted behind me the entire time.

When I walked—she walked.

When I paused to complete a task–she paused and mimicked my movements.

When I finally grew tired of having a tiny shadow pressed constantly to my back, side or front I asked her:

What are you doing? Why are you following me?!

ADIDAS dress

I’m learning to be a woman. She responded. I’m watching you and I’m learning how to be a woman.

It’s six years later and she’s six years closer to achieving her goal.

Thankfully (and surprisingly) we’re both happy she’s chosen to linger longer on the kid-side and isn’t quite at young womanhood.

Yet.

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Comments

  2. I love this all so much. Parenting is far harder because of the overwhelming desire to make it stop or fly by, given what is happening in the moment…and then all those moments add up to “a lifetime ago” and you’re holding on again. It’s a beautiful cycle 🙂

  4. Love this. Middle school started here last week. My daughter had so many fears because she had “no friends in her hallway”. Of course that’s already been worked out. May we all linger on the side of kid dom a little longer!

  8. That was beautiful Carla – and so lovely that she isn’t racing out of childhood and into all the full-on-ness of adulthood too quickly. Make the most of those matching outfits because the day WILL come when she makes you go and change if you are wearing the same colour as she is (speaking from experience!)

  9. I love this so much. My boys grew up way too fast, so it seems. My oldest pulled away but now he’s pushing back. I’ll take it for as long as he’ll give me. Hopefully forever. My youngest hasn’t and won’t pull away. We have fun like kids on our mini vacations. But we all have grown up conversations. It’s just so wonderful.

  11. I don’t have kids (or the mom gene), but this made me tear up nonetheless. You are doing SO many things right, Carla. Your splendiferous daughter is evidence of that.

  12. ALL OF THIS. I am continuously amazed and inspired by you, Carla. And I love you and E. So so so much.

    xo today! She will have an AMAZING day.

    <3

  15. You are both beautiful. Daughters are special – I have two! One of mine kept her Barbies until 8th grade and still wanted to dress up as a fairy that same year for Halloween! Enjoy!

  17. What an exciting time for the two of you. All my best to you both during her teens. (I have a 16 yo girl.) Thanks for the expressive photos. Heartwarming!

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