Thank you for all youve taught me.

by

Screen Shot 2016-02-14 at 2.16.38 PM

My child has everything.

She has the necessities covered (with enough leftover to pay “rent” and help others).

And, for now at least, she’s not the child who possesses a running mental (or Amazon wish) list of what she longs to own.

Sure, she likes her some Shopkins.

*Yes* she’ll happily accept a gift of anything roller skating-related.

For the most part though she’s not into material stuff.

(and no, even though she’s asked, she’s not getting another puppy.)

rsz_screen_shot_2014-04-27_at_45448_pm

one child + one dog = done.

Each year for her birthday I struggle to come up with an idea for a present.

I want to find something meaningful. I want to create something memorable. I typically fall back on something experiential.

My child “needs” nothing.

As I’ve watched her mature I’ve learned her love-language is receiving gifts.

The caveat, however, is these tokens are more highly valued if they are of the homemade variety.

The notes I tuck in her lunches are more treasured than, for example, gifts of American Girl doll accessories or graphic novels.

rsz_1screen_shot_2015-02-20_at_45119_am

She gives what she wants to receive (2.11.14)

As a result, fairly soon after the previous year’s celebration wraps up, I begin pondering next year’s gift.

A way to make her something (although I possess zero crafting skills) which she’ll love now and, hopefully, want to save for when she’s older, too.

The point of today’s post (yep. getting there in a circuitous fashion.) is to share an idea I had for a gift.

Something about which I’m excited and have had so much fun with already I wondered if (ala this) you might wanna join me and do it for a loved one in your life.

Here’s my plan.

  • I’ve purchased a cookie jar.

(I went this route. Your gift-receiver may be of the more traditional variety.)

day of the dead cookie jar

  • I’ve begun to fill it with notes. The theme I’ve chosen for my missives is Thank you for all you’ve taught me. I’ve already filled journals with stories about her & the things she’s done. I’ve notebooks scrawled with life-wisdoms I want to leave for her in case anything happens to me (morbid, I realize). She defines herself as a nurturer and teacher and I wanted my notes to reflect that.

rain

  • I jot my thank you thoughts down as they occur to me and, at week’s end, I type & print. For now I trim the papers and tuck them inside the jar. It has occurred to me I could laminate the notes. It has also occurred to me that will most likely never happen (I like to set myself up for success).

And that’s it.

rsz_screen_shot_2016-02-25_at_33112_pm

slowly filling with memories…

Sharing this plan/process with friends has sparked conversations around love languages and the challenge of giving what we might not desire to receive.

From acts of service to words of affirmation I’ve realized (finally) reflecting someone’s language back to them makes a powerful  and positive difference in the way the relationship dynamic unfolds.

The person feels heard and understood because she’s receiving love in the way she needs—even if it’s not what we would choose to feel treasured or valued.

(See? Old school blogging. I’d planned only to share my idea and somehow detoured into admonishing you to learn your love ones’ languages.)

And now that’s *really* it.

  • A love language examined.
  • A cookie jar crammed with notes.
  • An awareness I’ll never, ever laminate.
  • And eight months to go until the official bestowing upon her day.

And you?

  • When was the last time you gave a homemade gift?
  • Have you considered the Love Language of special people in your life?

 

POSTS BY EMAIL

Never miss a post. Enter your email to get my latest posts delivered to your inbox.

Comments

  2. What a great idea!! And yes, there are a select few who get my language and reflect it back to me. My boys give me the very best homemade gifts and, I too leave notebooks/journals/my blog to them should anything happen to me. I totally get that one!!

  3. Love this idea and making gifts in general. I like to think I’m crafty, but I really just steal ideas from Pinterest 🙂

  4. I definitely can’t wait till my little guy is older and I can leave him some little notes in his lunches. My mom did that on occasion, and I loved and remember those moments.

  6. love this! wow she will definitely love and what a different idea! this would also be great for those people who “have everything” – hmmmm you’ve got my wheels turning!!! 🙂 🙂 xo

  9. As I am struggling to figure out what to get my husband for his birthday, I love this idea!
    The last thing I made was a scrapbook for my husband of our story together. It was a Christmas gift a couple of years ago. I update it each year and we look it at it every Christmas Eve now.

  10. I think she will love this more than you even know. Just last weekend I was going through the attic with my dad and we found a HUGE box of cards, pictures, drawings, etc. that my mom has saved over the years. I spent hours smiling over the little notes she had written to her family that she loved so much. Although we kept saying “we’ll NEVER do anything with these,” we carefully put every item back in the box and back in the attic.
    One day those notes you leave her will be a connection to her past. 🙂

  13. That is the best idea and best present. It is truly very special that her language is unique and loving and you hear and write it.The cookie jar is cool too!

  16. The cookie jar. Idea: A The actual jar? A+++ Love it! And actually, the whole concept. It’s lovely. But I wish my mother had a jar like that. In both ways.

  18. Such a beautiful idea!! I write a letter to my sons on their birthday , writing about what we’ve done that year, their favorites, things they’ve said/done/experienced. One day when they’re grow I’ll give them all to them. I think I like this idea even better – to jot things down as they occur and present it on the following birthday. thanks for the idea! ?

  23. What an amazing idea. I am inspired for sure. My kids are my lil teachers too. They are at the age that I just don’t want to miss one single thing. They have developed these great sense of humors. They are so fun to be around.

  24. I know my hubby’s love language. It is literally the opposite of mine, but I am aware of it so it a makes a big difference.

    I’ve been meaning to start a grateful note jar since forever.

  26. About 10 years ago I did something very similar (a jar full of memories) for both my mother and my father (they were divorced when I was three so the memories were individual)…and then also for my stepfather (who was divorced from my mother when I was in college).

    Tim was so moved by the idea that he did the same for his father. After my father died the only I thing I wanted was that jar…and that’s the only thing Tim wanted after his father died was the one he had made for his Dad.

    I didn’t consider their love languages but I know that they loved this gift.

    Something that keeps coming front and center for me is just how wise children and young people are…and how much they have to teach us if we’re open to it. Thank you for modeling that.

  28. Hi Carla, thanks for sharing this message with us, your story is very inspiring. I loved the fitness category, congratulations on your results.

  29. Speaking another’s love language is a fabulous way to connect. The problem is when you can’t figure out what someone’s language is.

    That gift you have planned will be cherished, and i wouldn’t be surprised if she wore those strips of paper out over the years but ended up keeping them no matter how ragged they get.

  30. I love this. One of my kids is definitely a “gifts” person and if it’s the right gift, it’s great. Sadly he’s much more “I need/want” than the rest of us. My husband and other son are quality time, so they are both pretty easy to keep happy. I’m acts of service, so it doesn’t take much to keep me happy, but I’m not sure anyone in my family “gets” the concept.

  31. What a perfect idea! I love that cookie jar too! I wish I had thought about doing this when my kids were little. It’s never too late though. Thanks so much for sharing this!

  32. I love this idea – and this is definitely J’s love language. I need to do a better job reflecting that back to him. The idea behind love languages is really intriguing to me. There have been several times when I’ve received gifts that I know is what the giver would want to receive but misses the mark for me. It’s interesting to see how it play out and definitely something I want to be more aware of.

  34. I have not done a homemade gift in a long time, but I do write “Thank You” notes on a regular basis. I love to give handwritten notes for birthdays, holidays, and just cause, because honestly, to me at least, a hand written note makes me smile. It is so simple, yet filled with so much thought and LOVE!

  35. I love this idea so much. Your daughter is incredible, just like you. One of these days my kiddo and I are going to have to meet up with you two and have a long and enjoyable playdate. Love and laughter are needed in this day and age. 🙂

  36. For birthdays (and other occasions) she got to go to the material store with me to pick out a pattern and whatever print she wanted so I that I could make her a birthday dress. (Just like my mom did!) I still make homemade items for my relatives. For Christmas this year, my sister got cholla cactus napkin holders (the skeleton part that I collected and sawed and sanded) and about 25 friends and relatives got headbands for walking/running/cycling. I just got a not from a lady this week saying she thinks of me every time she puts on her headband to walk/run in the a.m. Made me feel great!

  37. More recently, I scanned her old and not-so-old art work into my computer, printed the images (over 50 of them) onto treated muslin and then made her a memory quilt. She loves it!

  38. That is really sweet! I like the idea of love languages, I’ve never really thought of it that way, but certainly, its a consideration when gifting. Mine is definitely skewed towards experiences over stuff, though I love when someone gets me a “stuff” that I didn’t know I needed until just right then (i.e. my husband getting me my first garmin when I insisted I was fine with a stopwatch, or a friend getting me a sweet personalized sign to hang in our house). I tend to gift experiences as well (aka – a bottle of wine and a promise to go do a paint nite with friends).

    I also love OPENING presents, but I’m happy if they’re little things like my favorite flavor of chapstick or soup. My in laws are DEFINITELY stuff oriented, they love funky jewelry and books and fishing stuff and gift cards to help fun their next house project. My parents just want TIME with us, though they’re such luddites its easy to gift them electronics + tech support.

    Deep thought Tuesday. 🙂

  39. I love the idea of filling the jar throughout the year, Carla. It makes it a grateful AND a memory at the same time. I did the opposite – filled a decorated Ball jar with 52 little folded papers with things I love about my hubby and gave him the jar on our anniversary. It became our Saturday morning ritual that year, to have coffee in bed and read the week’s Love Note. The Tornado will love and treasure your gift!

Trackbacks

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This